Note from Alex: This is just a short chapter from The Ex-Girlfriend Solution answering a common question that Tumfweko gets:
“Should You Tell Your New Girl About Your Ex?”
At some point, you will meet a girl. It’s inevitable. And it’s also inevitable that you and her will talk about your previous lovers and relationships. So, what do you tell her about your ex-girlfriend, who caused you so much pain?
Well, it’s quite simple, really.
You tell her the truth. You tell her about the pain you felt and how you moved on. If you still feel some pain, don’t be afraid to tell her that. But make sure that she understands that you have no intentions of ever trying to get back together with her.
Make sure that your new girl knows that she’s the only one for you now. And if she asks if she could hurt you as much as your ex could, once again, speak the truth.
If you think she can, since you have made yourself completely vulnerable to her, tell her. Tell her that if you broke up, you would feel terrible pain and sadness, but that you also know that at some point, it would stop.
That’s the cycle of life.
When speaking about your ex, be cautious. Women (and men) in general have a tendency to measure themselves to your former lovers to see where they stand.
If you think that your new girl is in some way better than your ex, speak freely. Highlight all the things she does that make you happy. But don’t sound like you only like her because she isn’t like your ex – be sure to always give her compliments and like her for who she is and not for who she’s not.
If there are some things that your ex did better than you new girlfriend, it’s dangerous ground. Instead of bringing your ex into the picture, I would rather accept the new girl’s behavior and let your ex go. You can then take it from there.
If you think that your ex-girlfriend was better in many ways and you can’t love your new girlfriend fully because of that, you’re not ready for a new relationship, and you need to spend more time healing.