I Can’t Marry My Pregnant Girlfriend Because I Don’t Love Her! But Her Father Won’t Accept That


I need advice from your readers.

I am 32. I started a relationship 3 months ago with a 27 year old lady. She became pregnant after one month. My parents have said I must marry her because she is pregnant for me.

Her father has been threatening me to marry her. She knows we do not know each other well and the love is not there. The only time I made love to her without a condom was the night I was drunk. People  I do not love her.

She is not my kind of woman. Her father called me Yesterday threatening to come and report me at work before the week runs out. What do I do people?

please help.


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Posted by on May 15, 2013. Filed under STYLE. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

49 Responses to I Can’t Marry My Pregnant Girlfriend Because I Don’t Love Her! But Her Father Won’t Accept That

  1. Mutombe Reply

    May 15, 2013 at 8:15 am

    What has that to do with your work. Let them take yu to court and accept responsibility but refuse to mary the girl. Of cause yu will be fined just start preparing money

  2. abena zed Reply

    May 15, 2013 at 8:22 am

    aahhhh ba bm twamikata,u lyk insulting your friends a God has awarded u a wyf.u must marry her,wen u were in between her legs u were feeling nice now taste the fruits of wt u planted.thts y sex outsyd marriage is a sin.wt about if u gave her AIDS?ulemupa mune.tht should teach u to stop drinking beer carelessly.ur going to marry her.

    • Jack Malama Reply

      May 15, 2013 at 1:08 pm

      This is a ****** comment. Shut the fcuk up.

      • boastful Banda Reply

        May 15, 2013 at 1:58 pm

        shut up jack malama….when he was entering her he was enjoying and why would one have unprotected sex with someone you barely know..this BM is an *****..he should marry her period!

  3. Wisi Boyi Reply

    May 15, 2013 at 8:24 am

    Not know each other long enough but enough to do her bareback. Having said that, having a kid is not a sound basis for marriage. However, you have an obligation to take care of the child she is going to bear. The fact that you do not love her does not absolve you of your responsibilities to the child … good luck, it is atleast an 18 year commitment. For those of you young ones out there, weigh the consequences of having unprotected s3x … seeking 5 seconds of pleasure can lead to an 18 year commitment.

    • iye Reply

      May 15, 2013 at 8:29 am

      not only that and spending your lyf forever in hell.

      • $dollar$ Reply

        May 15, 2013 at 9:02 am

        .. if you do not repent and turn to Jesus.

        • uhu Reply

          May 15, 2013 at 9:05 am

          not to jesus to GOD.

          • Man City

            May 15, 2013 at 9:27 am

            Good point. these guys always confuse Jesus and God.Jesus is THE WAY to God pulizzzzzi.

          • personal

            May 15, 2013 at 11:23 am

            you cannot turn to God without Jesus, Jesus is the WAY, the TRUTH, and the LIFE. he who turn to him, turns to God. Jesus said “come to me”….he also says he who sees me see the father….There is NO other name under heaven by which man can be saved except the name of Jesus. This is true even from the begining. Its Gods plan that we do everything in christ, because, when you do for christ, its as good as for the father…thats why he said, I and the father are ONE.

          • Godchecker

            May 15, 2013 at 12:44 pm

            which god, will that be…the invisible muzungu with a long beard, Vishnu, Jah Rastafari, Shango, Bumba, might creator God of Vomit, Yes Vomit!! the list goes on and on…

          • Godchecker

            May 15, 2013 at 12:56 pm

            Many Gods are spread across different regions, cultures and tribes. Ones God is not everyone elses GOD!

          • China

            May 15, 2013 at 1:14 pm

            Also known as HE-PO, HO-PO, BING-YI, PING-I
            God of the Yellow River.

      • Bullseye Reply

        May 15, 2013 at 12:26 pm


        • uhu Reply

          May 16, 2013 at 7:10 am

          @china,keep quite iwe ka ramsey jst coz ur in china stp bullshitting us,u wil be back sonny u wil fyd us.

  4. iye Reply

    May 15, 2013 at 8:28 am

    aha twaikata kapoli,sex outsyd marriage is a sin,but iwe u thot no one is seeing u,ifyakulya ubushiku fitulikila muma lushi.its a pity tht most zambian men and women are having sex lyk dogs.jst upon meeting eachother same day namwamba kale ukutambilana.wt a country.hw cn we fight AIDS lyk this?its too much bane lets learn to wait until marriage the problem is even if we talk others are doing it right now.rubbish.

    • personal Reply

      May 15, 2013 at 11:18 am

      you can not turn to God without turning to Jesus. he is the way, the truth and the life…no ones comes to the father except through him…he who sees him, sees the father…so the man needs to turn to Jesus…thats right.
      it was so even from the begining

  5. Reality Reply

    May 15, 2013 at 8:29 am

    First and foremost,why did u ask her out and even sleep with her within a month of dating her? You have compromised her life and u must face the consequences of ur actions. Marry her,and keep the baby together morover u are old enough to do that. Whom do u want to marry her after u have changed her status to that of a mother.u say u only slept with her without protection when u were drunk. Well i dnt thnk u were that drunk coz u remember what u did. If u put ur mind to it,u’ll learn to love and respect her. Morover,she was good enough at first before u made her pregnant.

    • Jack Malama Reply

      May 15, 2013 at 1:25 pm

      Are you for real. Some of us sleep with them the very first day. And not everything we fcuk, we want to marry

  6. Uncle B' Reply

    May 15, 2013 at 8:38 am

    Ba BM muli tole sana, in the first place why go for some1 who is not ur type? Ati i was drunk u liar kapaya u thot she is a sperm chamber? You shud marry her and I pray that her father goes to ur work place and pours shit on you. Why were u undressing her for three months if u didn’t love her, wamucita umuntu pa last ati shakutemwa? Kapuli kobe…!

  7. uhu Reply

    May 15, 2013 at 8:38 am

    just marry her my dear,u let the beer drink u instead of drinking it.thts y bear is not allowed in some religions just lyk sex outside marriage is.u shoud be storned mambala iwe.wt is this gonking christian nation doing about it?

  8. Wisi Boyi Reply

    May 15, 2013 at 8:43 am

    No people! Marrying her is not the answer. His only obligation is to the unborn child. Y’all act like the girl had no say in the s3x part, she did and biology is such that females are the ones that get pregnant. However, this is not about these two anymore, there will be a baby that needs to be the focus. Again, you do not marry someone merely for making someone pregnant. The man needs only take care of his child whether or not he is pressured into marring her.

  9. [Mother Mwamba] Reply

    May 15, 2013 at 8:51 am

    Dat girl is nice and cuty. Mambala just marry.Pipo have stayd in marriages for 40 years no child. Walitumpa afuta uku tota then u want advice today.Dat day u didnt requested for advice pantu bwalimine lelo nabufota u want advice.

  10. Queen Reply

    May 15, 2013 at 8:56 am

    She was okay when u were drunk. So stay drunk n marry her u fool. She too might NOT be in love with an idot like u so its EQUAL.

    • Jack Malama Reply

      May 15, 2013 at 1:44 pm

      So why get married then? If the first person u slept with is the one you married, good for you. Even people who were in love before they got married are now-a-days getting divorced. What will be of those in such situations? It will be local courts everyday after 3 or 4 more kids and you will be reading and commenting about them. And this time it will be that the man or woman is sleeping with people.

  11. Aba ku canakashi Reply

    May 15, 2013 at 9:00 am

    Ifi efilelenga GBV ukuya pamulu. Just pay damage and provide for the baby. Tatulefwaya mailo ati, “balinguma, balindepula ulufumo.”

  12. Banpanda mano Reply

    May 15, 2013 at 9:20 am

    Awe ine amano yapela kuti wafilwa no kuchita advice,sex issues bwafya echo Adam na Eve baikolokwefye.

  13. Banpanda mano Reply

    May 15, 2013 at 9:29 am

    Awe ine amano yapela kuti wafilwa no kuchita advice,sex issues bwafya echo Adam na Eve baikolokwefye.Ichibemba chitila achiti”Ukutombana kwachilo lupwa” so in short seek advice b4 you engange in the ACT and not afterwards.

  14. jamoka Reply

    May 15, 2013 at 9:39 am

    you did things alone, you must finish alone it again.

  15. ela Reply

    May 15, 2013 at 9:51 am

    ela…. Look at u… Ok dnt marry her.. Bt u wil nt only take care of the child bt her as well… She did her part, took care of u even wen u where drunk…

    Bt u ar a fool.. So wat did think of her, a sex machin, coz u say she is nt ur type nd u dnt love her..
    You shud be payng her for life coz to u she was more like a prostitute..

    Naimwe mwena kashi nimwebo… Nga ichilume ndo upon knwng each each chilefyaya sex… Kuchisha..
    90% of men all around the world wud prefer a virgn 4 a wif..
    Nd 98% of men never want to marry a woman they hav had sex wit whil dating..coz aftr the sex.. They see her as cheap nd loose..

  16. Umupandapwiti Reply

    May 15, 2013 at 10:11 am

    You should marry her for the sake of the unborn innocent child. Growing up without a father will greatly negatively affect your child. Honestly speaking there are a lot of happily married couples who went through exactly what you are going through. Love takes time and in time you will definitely learn to love her.

  17. feng sayuk Reply

    May 15, 2013 at 10:39 am

    kachikala just go ahead and marry her ulitole sana you are the ones damaging the names of men.atase..shes not your type then why did you shag.?

  18. Prof-B Reply

    May 15, 2013 at 11:00 am

    Mr.BM.The first time u set your EYES on her, didn’t u know that she was not your type? The second thing is, why date someone u do not love for three solid months? Thirdly, stop drinking beer because it will land u into a situation u will never come out, e.g. HIV/AIDS.

    My advise to u my brother is that, just marry her and it shall be well with u. Seek GOD in PRAYER and ask for help and HE will definitely help u to develop love for her and the unborn baby. There are many people who have married women/men they did not love but are happy today. The looks of a woman/man cannot bring true happiness in a marriage, but what brings true love and happiness in a marriage, is the conduct of wife/husband. So if her conduct is great to u and your family just marry her or u may even end up marrying someone who is not going to love u at all.

    Think twice my brother whatever happened between the two of u might be for your own good. If your parents wants u to marry her, go ahead and marry her and it shall be well with u. Read Proverbs 1:8

    • Jack Malama Reply

      May 15, 2013 at 1:52 pm

      Bad advice

  19. cq Reply

    May 15, 2013 at 11:18 am


  20. joelove Reply

    May 15, 2013 at 11:26 am

    My friend, you are not serious with your life. How can you sleep with a girl after knowing her for only three months. That why HIV rate is going up because of irresponsible guys like you. You should not blame beer but yourself.

    • Jack Malama Reply

      May 15, 2013 at 1:53 pm

      Well said.

  21. mimi Reply

    May 15, 2013 at 12:06 pm

    mr arent u too old to behave like that, i mean tamwaishiba ati umuzompiki ulapanga abana inga mwaiingisha mumukashana? this is the concequence so just marry her. u shudnt hav a system of damaging other people’s daughters and dump them just like that. u hypocrit

  22. Joyboy Reply

    May 15, 2013 at 1:08 pm

    What these young men do not understand is its not about the relationship you have with your child’s mother it’s about your child.

  23. Jack Malama Reply

    May 15, 2013 at 2:16 pm

    BM grow up. It’s your life. Do what you want to do.

    • uhu Reply

      May 16, 2013 at 7:15 am

      bad advice

  24. man mule Reply

    May 15, 2013 at 2:57 pm

    my friend let them take you to court and accept the responsibility take care of the pregnancy and the responsibility and do not accept marriage.i have been in that situation is beter to marry someone you will love all time than fighting all time in life.

    • BASHI MANONE Reply

      May 22, 2013 at 7:34 pm


  25. chintu Reply

    May 15, 2013 at 3:35 pm

    Just get her why do u want to trouble your own blood

  26. tru man Reply

    May 15, 2013 at 5:00 pm

    why didn’t ask for the advise when you where undressing her. Idioooot chopeti chimbwi pamenso nga ubunga babikileko umutengo.

  27. Maikalange Reply

    May 15, 2013 at 5:20 pm

    Makaka iwe

  28. nyamu Reply

    May 15, 2013 at 9:01 pm


  29. mwewa Reply

    May 16, 2013 at 10:26 am

    BM,Contact me on this number for advice!!!

  30. Anthony chisanga Reply

    May 22, 2013 at 3:09 pm


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