Dear Readers,
I am a 43-year-old married man with two kids. I am associated with an unmarried girl aged 27, who is working in my office for the past three years.
It started with random office discussions. Later, when she developed differences with her fiance, she discussed her personal life with me. She even arranged a lunch where we three met. Though I advised her caution, she broke her engagement.
With time, I started feeling close to her because of her beauty and talent, which I did not find in my wife. Our relation developed into physical closeness, though not sex. Many a times she came to my house, happily met my wife and interacted with the kids. Though we were in love, I started helping her and her parents in search of a groom for her. She discussed with me different matrimonial proposals.
Slowly she started to dislike my wife and even my kids. She would get extremely annoyed by even a phone call from my family in her presence. I told her that I love her and I will care for her, be responsible for her even after her marriage, but I cannot do away my family. Once, when we were together on a company tour, we spent the night as a couple. We got physically involved but didn’t go all the mile.
My wife learnt about my closeness to her and hounded her. I love my wife and kids too. But my girl now considers my wife as her enemy. I told her that I never intended to leave my wife and marry her. But she is adamant not to spare my wife. She says she will never marry anyone and will remain unmarried for life since she has become physically close to me, and will not be able to lead marital life with anyone else.
I am perplexed. I am dutiful towards my wife and kids and cannot leave them. At the same time, I love the girl and feel responsible for her. I don’t know why she is doing all this now as she used to discuss her marriage proposals with me, even when we were in physical love. The girl even threatens to commit suicide. I have told her to move ahead, marry and lead a normal life. I told her that with me she will never be able to have a socially-recognised relationship.
I meet her daily in office and my wife gets suspicious. I still kiss the girl and she reciprocates, but we do not go out anymore. I don’t know what to do and how to settle things amicably. Please help Me, I don’t know what to do?
How Should I End My Extra-Marital Affair? added by on
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SHE WILL KILL YOUR WIFE AND YOU HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO TAKE HER IN. THAT FOOLISHNESS MUST END. YOU WILL LOSE ALL YOU HAVE WORKED FOR AND THAT WILL BE THE END OF YOU.
Ala boyi iyo waleta yabwafya. Your weakness has been to feel that you are responsible for her emotional health just because your emotions are involved. Let me tel you, next week, she will confide in you saying she is getting on in age & is dying to have a child. She will indicate that she can have it with any man but her heart is telling her that your seed is what would give her the world. The moment you agree to ‘go the whole mile’ (simply stated: phuck!), is the day you say goodbye to your sweet, loyal & longsuffering wife & kids. 9 months later, you are a polygamist.
No Vundu! Its a norm is some sectors of Zm.
Good advise here, take it or leave..lobe!
kakolwe yuo have said the truth. there is a lady who has been troubling me like you have explained.
Hello sir, you have not indicated if you are Christian or not. My advise is this: marraige is a choice we all make and that choice means you have chosen to foresake all others. What you are doing now is commiting adultery, regardless of whether it is emotional or physical. The important thing is to guard your heart against things like this. Do you realise that if your wife chose to be unfaithful she could. How would that make you feel? and much more what would that do to your beautiful children. Walk a mile in your wifes shoes, consider how your actions are ultimately going to affect your family, and more importantly, are you living under Gods will? Once you analyse sinerely these issues, you will find that the right thing to do is to fix your relationship with your wife and rediscover why you married her in the first place. As for the other young lady, you must first decide in your that you have to cut the relationship, then tell her. Do not feel responsible for her feelings because she is not your resppnsibility and she knew you were married. Believe it or not in her heart she knows that this is all wrong and she is as guilty as you. The key is for you to determine the path you want to take and not waver back and forth. Do the right thing. All the best and God bless you.
@Christian Counsel…Excellent advise!
Sir, with all due respect the only way to end this relationship is by firing her from work and move on with your own life. I know it’s not easy as many people will say but for the benefit of your family and peace’s sake do like wise.
She is not a marriage material instead a she-devil, a housebreaker because you brought her in yourself.
Fyakuifwaila bataata.Be bold and leave her alone.A man should never counsel a woman or else a man will be counselled instead like what has happened to this man.You lady , leave him alone,no wonder your fiance dumped you.You were cheating on him, and reaped what you sowed.
Yaaaaa aha eya dat guy is a problem, how can you start caring a Woman aged 27 and expect her not to care for you? coz for me the most closer person to you is sme1 you spend most of yo time with by so doing you both slowly get interestd by the tym u realise it you cannot do away wit her, eh iyo ati i wil care for evn in marriage-those two Luv each other coz if he luvs the wife how cn he dare dscus those stories wit her instead working, moreover shez more fresh & Beautiful than the wife! dat statement simply clarifies the big man duz out wit dat Woman & nw its tym he Paid the Price! —–: WA YILASHA TAKAKULEKE KABILI WALI LYALYA! NAMA IREPLACIBLE SHOCKS AND SPRINGS WALIPWISHA!
Awe ka tata nomba ulimumpali. Cimbwi afwile intangalalo uku kwa wama noku kwalowa. Concentrate on your family man that lady is destroying your marriage . change is in you…. yourself, no one will come to you and say tata mwakula nomba lekeni ama double tobela.
find a job and resign your current job or else you will become like palani the Game stores manager. she will accuse you of sexual harassment. be careful hence forth
The key is with you Mr. Man. Just the way others have put it above, you need to untie your cords with this lady. She is still young and can get a man of her own and please do not try to entertain her by feeling sorry for her. She is just trying to scare you. She is still good looking and can find a man of her own. I rest my case.
You need to choose your wife and kids and dump that b.i.t.c.h. If I was your wife I would hunt your girlfriend and beat her a.s.s ubupuba shifwaya ine. If anyone comes close to my husband kamitula indusha yamafi. So namisoka mwemaule imwe.
Woooooow! That is one angry, furious lady. So some people have an ‘indusha yamafi’? If I marry a lady like Ghetto, kuichindika in all truthfulness! Maaaa!
Ukutemwa bamukabene these young girls efyo mulwalila.
Isn’t it obvious what is the best approach to this dilemma you muppet?
iwe mwaice styyoooopeetest! concentrate on your family.mumbwe iwe!
Firstly my bro you need to repent and be born-again tht’s ungodly, coz wthout God you ‘ll never achieve your freedom, you are in bondarge, believe me. Secondly, the Spirit is telling you to quit bt the flesh can’t (Galatians 5:17). Quit my bro or you ‘ll become a loughing stock in society. Thirdly, b4 you realise it she ‘ll breake the worst news that ‘ll melt you to the borns:AM MISSING MY PERIODS!!!!. By the way, natwishiba mwalilalana kale. eyi yena mune ninshi you’re finished. Lastly, muleyako naku Church, salvage some scriptures from the Bible and read them for her. Limbi kuti aunfwa. Wikabwekeshapo nakabili wemukulu wonse. Your family needs you bakamba.
You were smart enough to be a fool. As the head of the house,your behaviour should be exemplary. You have set a bad precedent. The day your innocent sheepish looking wife discovers sex outside your marriage, you will know pain like death. It happens…it does happen. đŸ™‚
Hi! Bane, you & @Ghetto’s words have sent a chill down mine own spine & ba… (sorry, balinkanya ukulumbula insele). Your threats, or promises sound so real & horrific. I should make sure that the woman of the house is respected, guarded & watched over. But, should I find that nao napelako a Jack down the lane, kumutula indusha ya semen nomusumali wandalawa!
True story @kakolwe, real life.
you had sex and many times. a woman can only behave like that if she has tested you fruit. be truthful.
You need deliverance both of you because you are one flesh with that girlfriend. Without it you still be doing it at one point. Keep your wife and kids health.
Sex the most popular topic in the world.Bring something about drones no one will know what’s up except few characters.
you are a fool, open your eyes and think. bakakulisha ukalaba abakashi na bana mwilafwe ya amule nga mwa lyupa be stong avoid evil and it will avoid thee.
Fire her and all this madness will stop
iwe chikala chobe waba itole waumfwa? the only solution kumutombafye dibili dibili kwapwa,if posibo invite her 4 a 3some with yr wife,bcoz there z no other way!! the fact d@ she accepts d@ u ar oredy married
Girls easily fall for a man who shows care especially with no sex involved going by your story. But crafty women can capitalise on that by playing victim to win more sympathy and attention before you know you chase your wife, bring her in and see her true colors blossom like rash… soon you start caring now for your office cleaner… Just go home from office one day, take your wife out for dinner, make love to her like it’s the first time then tell her you love her – and mean it.
I know! Like you said before, these issues are learned with time!
How Would U Feel If It Was Yr Wife Giving Attention 2 Another Man? If That Girl Is That Beautful And Talented As U Put It,then Let Her Find Her Own Man.
You say she resents your Children? Then she doesn’t deserve your sympathy. Wake up from your slumber.
Women whether married or not have same naughty daydreams. Find out which one that pisses her OFF most and capitalize on it until she signs her way out willingly. Diplomatically, you will have sorted her out without causing too much anger. After all she will respect you for assisting her in the EXIST plan. But the problem here will be you that will show weakness in executing out this plan meticulously..how else if you weakly show how scared you are at losing her..Yes she was not chewing gum but get over it and get on with yor wife even if there are signs of aging in her you will not manage this tornado you are getting into..Uka sheta kafupa ukan nake na prostate problem ika tampe ..for her you will no longer be of any use to her..TAKE HEED AND RUN!!!
It is dat guy again,ba tumfweko cnt u get better pics of mor healthy lookin guys plz,dat guy looks lyk he has bin hit by severe diarrhoea
JJB just got me emotional…OMG! Sounds nice,hope mwaufwa mundala.
You have not married her. leave her. let her commit suicide.if you had sex with her that was going to be different. she was going to be your wife and i was going to advise you to have caution. but my advice to you is cut the problem from your life.
You are also a F00l who told you that you only need to have duty towards your wife? Love her you styoped
YOU STUPID MAN, IS YOUR WIFE NOT BEAUTIFUL AND TALENTED? WHAT DO YOU CALL BEAUTY. she MIGHT BE OLD AND UGLY TO YOU BUT SHE IS DIAMOND WITH YOUR FRIENDS AND OLDER MEN WHO HAVE OLDER WIVES. YOU ARE OLD YOURSELF AND AM SURE YOU FUNCTION PATHETICALLY. WHERE DO YOU THINK YOUR GIRLFRIEND GOES WHEN YOU ARE HOME WITH YOUR WIFE AND KIDS/ HOW OLD WAS YOUR WIFE WEN YOU MET HER? A PERSON WHO ACCEPTS TO SLEEP WITH ANOTHER MANS HUSBAND IS A WHORE. YOU WANT TO BRING A WHORE IN YOUR OWN HOME? YOU DO NOT WANT TO KNOW WHAT A FRUSTRATED MARRIED WOMAN IS CAPABLE OF. DECIDE WHAT YOU WANT AND STOP WASTING OUR TIME.
I doubt that the two spent a night as a couple without sex, awe balicitana bashetani. That is why she has developed that can ma jelousy. She feels she owns the Manhood now! foolish, wamona ifintu fimo kuiletelela fye. Pray hard and ran away from sin.
The only solution is to deal with the following;
i. Distance- always face to face rekindles
relationships.
ii. Communication -always communicating by what ever
means reminds the other person that you still think about her. Avoid it.
iii. Physical touch- an act that every woman cherish
worse if you even bonk each other.You create a bond. Women get closer to the person they know very well.
iv. Avoid storytelling of caring about her and allowing her feel secured with u.
iv. Avoid any spending on her clothes or anything that will remind her of you.
Remember: A woman can easily get what she wants from a man vice versa it may be difficult
JST LOVE YO WIFE & KIDS,LEV YOUN LAND ALON.
A Woman Can Only Behave Lik This Afta Tastin Yo Manhood, Y Cant U B Truthful If U Need Practical Advise. Naiwe Ka Gelo Fwebankungulume Ubwingi Tulefwaya Apa Kwingisha, Wakakatilafye Mukamwine Sure. Atleast Ngana Tobela Amani Yandi Muli Iwe Ninshi Wabomukashi Wandi, Muleke Uyo Nakwata Epo Engisha Nga Bwaila.
@ True Walasa, the otherside of the Story if 1 Realy wants to Bonk a Girl They Bonked way back-Easily follow the Steps of True!!!
that happen to me too,but not to my only wife.i liked the girl and every time i visited her home things is to happen.so what i did is i stoped going to her home and keep myself buzy with my wife home.avoid that girl and be with your wife every time after office
this is the reason i consider us men to be weak, why not behave.
You are just a stupid man to have continued entertaining a fool like this girl. Get your brains back.
it takes your strength to fight such wrong take her as your friend by showing your emotions strength, physical and psychological strength. the point is not your wife to care about but it is your inner strength and respect for your marriage institute you started it and need to end it by walking her in all physiology, psychological and emotion needs call a profession counsellor to help you on the therapy all confidential counselling line like 990 to help. biblical those will just add to the strength to your marriage if you understand yourself full wickedness is from evil drives say no to such forces wishing your well
My dear for you to end that problem share the news with you wife tell her what is happening with that Girl,and then transfer her from your office or dpt to a different dpt.
Am in a similar situation and now avoiding any kind of contact with this girl deeply in love with me, despite my being married. She is the one who proposed to me and tempted me into getting involved because she told me she had only known one man and slept only once with him before they broke up. She felt more like a virgin when I “tasted” her. I do help her but have decided never to sleep with her again and keep my distance.Better avoid the intimacy and she will gradually move on.
It is sad to say the relationship has gone that far, but you still have chance to mend things and let the young lady no the truth. If you are telling her to leave you alone with a smile on your face, just know that she will not do it. Tell her the truth if possible in the presence of your wife. Reduce any contact with her, if it means transfering her to another department do it if you have such powers. GO CLOSER TO YOUR GOD YOU WILL SOLVE THE PROBLEM.