Doggy Is For Insecure Guys Who Enjoy Demeaning Babes!

It’s not only how often we have sex that matters, but how we have sex that helps define our manhood. Some men like it fast and hard, while others like it slow and soft. Regardless of our personal preference, the way we bonk does more than determine the time it takes for us to get off; it determines who we are as guys. Here’s what your sex position says about you.

Doggy Style
You have a disdain toward babes, and you try and degrade them any chance you get. This stems from deep insecurities rooted in the many rejections you suffered. Now that you’ve styled up, babes actually want to have sex with you (after a few beers) – and this is your chance for payback. Doggy style is the best way for you to completely demean your partner.

You’re someone who doesn’t like to take chances and prefers playing by the rules. That’s why instead of pursuing your childhood dream of becoming a lawyer, you’ve been working at the same video-rental shop since university. Luckily for you, your friend’s sis doesn’t love you for your naturalness in the bedroom. She loves you because you always speak in a monotone, only ever ordering chicken and chips at restaurants. Besides, whenever she craves sexual enlightenment, she calls your brother.

The Cowgirl
You don’t believe in hard work and are used to everything being handed to you on a silver platter. You’re an only child, so all your life your parents bowed to your every whim. Even the girl you’re with now is the daughter of family friends, and the only reason she’s still with you is because the MTN job your uncle got you helps pay for her expensive lifestyle.

The Spoon
There’s nothing more important to you in this world than being in a relationship. All your life you’ve been picked on by your friends, and you’ve developed low self-esteem as a result. The mere idea of ever sticking up for yourself gives you massive anxiety. The only person that doesn’t pick on you is your girlfriend. That’s why you’ll gladly do her nails, zip up her dress and fill her purse before she goes clubbing with the girls, and why you look forward to cleaning her when she pukes in the toilet at 4:00 a.m. After all, if she’s blackout drunk, you can spoon her all night long.

The Cat
If you’ve mastered this, then sex is only your third favourite thing in the world. You don’t mind physical orgasms, but you prefer spiritual ones, in which your infinite soul is intertwined with your partner’s. Unfortunately, your girlfriend refuses to give you an orgasm – both physical and spiritual – until you cut off that ruffled beard. Or better yet, shower.

13 Responses to "Doggy Is For Insecure Guys Who Enjoy Demeaning Babes!"

  1. B Wile   July 31, 2011 at 8:39 pm

    The dude is doing it in an undwerwear

  2. cheupe   August 1, 2011 at 6:57 am

    Nice post, except for all these styles, the guys seem to have a personality disorder of sorts, or at least they are borderline personality disorder. Which style for the normal well adjusted fellas?

    • dede   October 4, 2011 at 7:44 am

      you r such a beauty

  3. chesire   August 1, 2011 at 11:54 am

    Nice post, the cat ni gani? what if you use all the styles

  4. chesire   August 1, 2011 at 11:55 am


  5. evank   August 9, 2011 at 12:07 pm

    all the styles mentioned are ok. it just depends on the pipo fucking. if anything most girls love it from behind. different positions stimulate different parts of the gina(pussy). the one who wrote those reason is a lousy fuck. i give multiple orgams with those positions.

  6. cheupe   August 19, 2011 at 6:26 pm

    CAT ni ile ya kusugua kama missionary. Lakini unapanda system ukiwa juu kidogo yaani ni kama unataka kupita kichwa cha mwenzako. halafu unasugua kama unaelekea juu kuelekea kichwa, badala ya kuingia tu ndani ukitoka…hii style husugua kinembe vizuri na hupelekea wanawake wengi kufikia kilele kwa makelele na nduru ajabu. Jaribu kama hujawahi.

  7. DSK   August 26, 2011 at 10:28 am

    It’s doesn’t matter Dog style or not,it’s jst depend on how long you take to take the girl up to reach Orgasm and to make a girl reach orgasm is the very important thing in F**cking in whatever possition

  8. Shi Su   October 13, 2011 at 8:24 am

    Doggy digs deeper ma’ friend and shawty loves it it deeper till it reaches the throat! Ikali bakaamba!

  9. stranger197   October 15, 2011 at 6:20 pm

    Okay so what position is good because off all the nonsense uve written u seem tp hate males….

  10. Goodmorning Zambia   October 18, 2011 at 9:12 am

    Wow!!! Finally zambians disccusing sex openly, its been a long time coming.
    Now you can discuss about some of the primitive Zambian old traditions which makes you feel embarassed once you step out of Zambia!
    lets change some of these meaningless primitive no good cutlture!!

  11. Law-man   August 22, 2012 at 9:20 pm

    Every style is nice as long as wamufikapo.

  12. mr muso   November 14, 2012 at 2:36 pm

    nosense. doggy is the best ask publishers of kamasutra