Never Marry A Secretary

By Bob

Secretaries play an imperative role in any organisation.
They are responsible for the smooth running of the secretarial and clerical duties; they make and cancel appointments for their boss, handle telephone calls and pass on the relevant information to the concerned authorities. Most secretaries are gorgeous and nice looking.
They have this body that can make a corpse resurrect. But today, find out why you should never marry an office secretary.

Bonk bosses
It is on record that a great number of the secretaries bonk their bosses from office on a daily basis.
Most of them prefer what’s commonly known as ‘carpet bombing’. Some bosses use weird tricks to lure these gals into sex.
The trick is, they give these girls assignments that take many hours to finish. By the time she is done, it is late in the night and the two are alone in the office. What is done thereafter, your guess is as good as mine. Blow jobs and quickies are their favourites.

Don’t keep secrets
Secretaries know many of their bosses’ secrets.
They know where the boss normally hangs out and people close to him. They also know the ups and downs of their masters.
If she wakes up on the long side of the bed, you know you will be in trouble. This is because she will spill all that she knows about you and you will become a laughing stock. Briefly, she will always hold you at ransom.
One day, a respected boss went to office with zipped trousers. When he entered, his secretary realized that the man’s ka-whopper was out, dangling like a mad fish. She then told him, “Please sir, you have left the garage at home open.” But the boss did not bother to ask what she meant.
He entered his office and as he was sitting down, he realized that his whopper was on a show. He then zipped up and went back to the secretary and asked her thus: “When you looked in the garage, did you see a Mercedes Benz or a Ferrari parked?” But she answered: “I only saw a DMC Kikumi.” The rest, as they say, is history.

Wolokoso Queens
They are always talking about things that don’t concern them. And if she knows anything about your wife, she will not keep quiet.
They are always envious of their boss’ wives; they despise and demean them. They even leak some of their colleagues’ secrets to their boss in order to gain favours and promotions.

Busy schedule
Secretaries are always busy in office. She will not leave the work station unless she has done all her boss’ work. If you marry her, you will not get enough time with her. She will all the time be married to the office.

Expensive to maintain
They always want to look good and like a lot of make-up to look beautiful.
They need nice clothes to look sexy and please their bosses. If you are a broke guy, you will not please her. They like being artificial and to maintain them, you need to rob the nearest bank.

Secretaries are very generous with their ‘goods’. What she needs is just a plate of chips and chicken, plus a bottle of tusker. Most secretaries have slept with everyone at their respective offices, including the cleaners and tea boys.

Very Rude
It is critical for a secretary to possess both verbal and non verbal communication skills.
However, a good number of them don’t posses these qualities. They are antisocial and will always dictate on who should see the boss.
If she is not in her moods or if she has not liked your face, she will not allow you to see the boss. They can even lie to you that he is out of the country when you actually saw him a few minutes ago in the compound.

Most of the secretaries earn peanuts for salary. They cannot cater for their daily maintenance and depend on tips from their bosses and other bonkmates at the office.

Most of the secretaries are school dropouts who are not so literate. They don’t easily comprehend whatever they are told. Some of them stopped in P.7 but because of their soupy faces, they managed to get jobs. Simply put, they are dense and if you marry her, she will bear you half baked children.
If you want sharp children in the future, don’t waste your time with a secretary. They are green about current issues. For example, the other day I was talking to some one about the English Premier League and she was like ‘today Man Utd is playing against Manchester United.’
There are so many educated gals out there and I don’t see any reason why one should go for a mere secretary.

Inferiority complex
Secretaries have a very big weakness. They always look at themselves as being some of the low rank staff in an organization.
But on a good note, if you are interested in a one night stand, secretaries are the best alternative.

The writer is a researcher and counsellor.

DISCLAIMER: The views expressed above are personal opinions of the writer. ED

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