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The 5 TOUGHEST Questions A Woman Can ASK A MAN
The questions are:
What are you thinking about?
Do you love me?
Do I look fat?
Do you think she is prettier than me?
What would you do if I died?
What makes these questions so difficult is that every one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument if the man answers incorrectly (i.e tells the truth). Therefore, as a public service, each question is analyzed below, along with possible responses.
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Question # 1: What are you thinking about?
The proper answer to this, of course, is: ‘I’m sorry if I’ve been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent woman you are, and how lucky I am to have met you.’ This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer, which most likely is one of the following:
Baseball.
Football.
How fat you are.
How much prettier she is than you.
How I would spend the insurance money if you died.
(Perhaps the best response to this question was offered by Al Bundy, who once told Peg, ‘If I wanted you to know what I was thinking, I would be talking to you!’)
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Question # 2: Do you love me?
The proper response is: ‘YES!’ or, if you feel a more detailed answer is in order, ‘Yes, dear.’ Inappropriate responses include:
I suppose so.
Would it make you feel better if I said yes?
That depends on what you mean by love.
Does it matter?
Who, me?
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Question # 3: Do I look fat?
The correct answer is an emphatic: ‘Of course not!’ Among the incorrect answers are:
Compared to what?
I wouldn’t call you fat, but you’re not exactly thin.
A little extra weight looks good on you.
I’ve seen fatter.
Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.
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Question # 4: Do you think she’s prettier than me?
Once again, the proper response is an emphatic: ‘Of course not!’ Incorrect responses include:
Yes, but you have a better personality
Not prettier, but definitely thinner
Not as pretty as you, when you were her age
Define ‘pretty’
Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.
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Question #5: What would you do if I died?
A definite no-win question. (The real answer, or course, is ‘Buy a Corvette.’)
No matter how you answer this, be prepared for at least an hour of follow-up questions, usually along the these lines:
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She….Would you get married again?
He…..Definitely not!
She….Why not – don’t you like being married?
He…..Of course I do.
She….Then why wouldn’t you remarry?
He…..Okay, I’d get married again.
She….You would? (With a hurtful look on her face)
He…..Yes, I would.
She….Would you sleep with her in our bed?
He…..Where else would we sleep?
She….Would you put away my pictures, and replace them with pictures of her?
He…..That would seem like the proper thing to do.
She….And would you let her use my golf clubs?
He…..She can’t use them; she’s left-handed.
Posted by
Don bolo 2
January 5, 2012 at 10:23 am
ask dem
Munalian
January 5, 2012 at 10:52 am
Ba Tumfweko,
Your hypothetical questions require hypothetical answers!!
1)what are you thinking about?
The answer depends on the context: time of day,ongoing events,location etc!
If it’s in the morning,the guy will be thinking of the day ahead,likewise,the day past if it’s in the evening.
If it’s near an important day (anniversary,birthday,valentine’s etc) the guy will most probably be thinking about how he will treat his lady
If it’s on game day,the guy will be thinking about having a good time with his mates while watching the football game!! Women,ACCEPT THIS COZ PRETENDING OTHERWISE IS JUST DECEIVING YOURSELVES!!
If you just had round 1,he will be thinking of round 2…that’s unless he needs viagra!!
2)do you love me
Question for an insecure woman or one with a man who isn’t or shouldn’t be hers!! Otherwise this should NEVER be asked!
3)do I look fat
Question meant for Western men whose conceipt of beauty is “models size” women! Generally-speaking,African men LOVE curvy women,we want a CUSHION WHEN PUSHING!!
Even if the woman has gained excess weight due to pregnancy,a loving man will reassure his woman via his affections and therefore she does NOT need to ask this question!!
4)is she prettier than me
Same as 2)
5)what would you do if I died
“I would bury you and move on with life” is the simple answer…
But once again this question would emanate from an insecure woman coz the one who knows her man needs NOT be nihilistic!!!
Dai Wang
January 5, 2012 at 12:20 pm
@Munalian, great one my man. We are Africans and not Westerners. Those questions can only be asked by an insecure Zambian woman who lives her life as though it were a movie.
How to spend insurance money after you die, my foot!!
Lifuka
January 5, 2012 at 12:41 pm
Ba Tumfweko those are your toughest question your reporters fails to answer, how can I surely fail to answer a question like’ am I fat’ come on bring us developmental news. You publish a story that you can’t even follow it up to the end, don’t leave things hunging
1) Liato’s cash crop how far has it gone
2) Musokotwane biscycle
3) Dola siliya’s son K 2 bn
4) Mulenga sata’s luxurius vehicle/Chifire
5) Is Ephraim really Nevers Mumba’s son and many mony stories you brought out not mwangila apa mwaleka
RESPECT
January 5, 2012 at 6:22 pm
BA TUMFWEKO U GOT THIS ARTICLE FROM ENJOY THE MASTI MWIKANA IYO CHACINE.
Ms mwine mushi
January 5, 2012 at 8:06 pm
Ba tumfweko u watch too many western movies,thts th result.
ONE TIME
January 6, 2012 at 9:13 am
OK
Rigman
January 6, 2012 at 11:25 am
I dont think a typical zambian woman is able to ask such useless 5 toughest questions,find things that are proper relationship building not your 5toughest question.i agree with the comment from the munalian.
joel
January 6, 2012 at 12:18 pm
dis z vry intresting.
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