Relationships go though plenty of ups and downs, and couples may experience times when they neglect each other or forget to do those little things that make each other happy. A variety of external factors, such as job stress and money issues, can also cause a person to feel down in the dumps. If your man needs a boost of happiness and confidence, take the time to put some extra effort into making him feel important.
Remember to make little gestures that show you care. Acknowledging a man’s wants and needs makes him feel good: “…we are excited when you do small, nice things for us like make coffee or come with us to the barber or just buy us a good book,” says Chris Abani, a contributor at “O: The Oprah Magazine.”
Tell him you love him frequently. Don’t get caught up in complaining, says Gloria Richfield, Ph.D. Talk to him about the things he does that you love and the aspects of his personality that bring you happiness. Reminisce about why you fell in love with him in the beginning and how that love has deepened over time.
Leave him love notes. Put a note in his briefcase, so he’ll see it when he gets to work, or leave a short letter next to the coffee maker for him to see first thing in the morning. A love note can include a heartfelt ode to all the ways you love him, or something simple and sweet, such as “Last night was great! I’m so lucky to have you in my life.”
Give him compliments and keep them as personal and specific as possible. Tell him how good he looks in a particular shirt or that you’re impressed by how well he does his job. Praise his good manners as well—tell him he’s one of the classiest, most courteous guys you’ve ever met. “It’s always nice for a guy to hear how much better he is than all the other guys out there,” says Scott Kudia, Ph.D., author of “If This Is Love, Why Am I Unhappy?”
Compliment him in front of his friends. This will reassure him that you have eyes for only him, says Allen Berger, Ph.D., author of “Love Secrets Revealed.”
Give him a little gift or do something thoughtful—just because. Pick up a pint of his favorite ice cream, make him a mix CD of love songs or buy that cool watch he’s had his eye on. Offer to rub his feet after a long day or cook his favorite meal and serve it by candlelight.
Respect a man’s needs and appreciate his individuality. Don’t expect him to react in the same way you would to a specific situation, says clinical psychologist Phil McGraw, host of the “Dr. Phil” television program. Listen to him and try to understand his thoughts and feelings.
Tips and Warnings
* Learn to compromise. Let him know that you find his opinions valid and that his input is important in the relationship. Tell him when he does a good job at something. Give him positive praise and encouragement whenever possible.
* Don’t let everyday stress stop you from committing little acts of kindness that will make a man feel important and appreciated. “Ask yourself: ‘What one little thing can I do to make this person happy today?'” advises Judith Wallerstein, Ph.D.