IS IT NORMAL? My Wife Allows Her Friends To Sleep On Our Matrimonial Bed

IS IT NORMAL? My Wife Allows Her Friends To Sleep On Our Matrimonial Bed

Dear Readers,

I am a foreigner working in Kitwe, Zambia  as a medical doctor. I am a 34 year old man married to a very beautiful Zambian woman aged 28, people my wife is careless and very lazy.

Some times I am forced to think that all Zambian women are the same but I must say that I have met and worked with great Zambian women who respect their culture and respect their marriages and husbands.

Imagine my wife does not do anything at home but sleeping and wanting to wear expensive clothes, she allows the maid to do everything.

The most annoying thing of all is that she allows her best female friends to sleep or have a nap on our matrimonial bed when I am at work some times even when I am around but doing research work in the other room.

On several occasions I have found her friends busy sleeping on our matrimonial bed and when I entered one day, this woman never bothered to move out of the bed and I left the bed for her and I could not rest after a hard day.

I have discussed this matter with her but she says her friend is like her relative and that they have been childhood friends for over 20 years. She says this is modern world and that I should get used with it.

People What is my wife up to, where I come from it is not allowed to allow your friend to sleep on the matrimonial bed.

I have one child with her, aged three years. I must say that my wife has bad manners, I have tried to make her very happy, buy her everything which she needs including expensive cars and clothes, the Brazilian hair, I love this woman but I don’t know why she is behaving like this.

Some times I cook for myself while she is sleeping or watching movies with her friends and drinking beer even in my bedroom.

Imagine five women sitting on the bed drinking beer like men and when I enter the main bedroom, my wife is not even moved that her husband has entered the house and the bedroom while her friends are busy drinking.

I am sponsoring her relatives to schools including universities. I have never cheated on any woman.  During courtship my wife pretended to by an angel, she was a Mrs. ‘Perfect’ but this has changed, I have involved her family but nothing has changed, when I come with my work mates or visitors from my country the behavior is the same, what can I do people.

We have been married for 7 years now

Frustrated medical doctor.

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270 Responses to "IS IT NORMAL? My Wife Allows Her Friends To Sleep On Our Matrimonial Bed"

  1. gilbert   November 2, 2012 at 6:44 pm

    Big bro tht idiot of yo wife is nt a real zed,she lied!real zeds dnt av such doggish manners,watch out next time she is bringng her boyfriend on tht bed en u wil enter without her moving en she wil tel the boyi @ “akuntombafye takwete incito”,my advice is divorce her b4 she feeds u kolyokolyo or walilya akale

    • mas   December 8, 2012 at 10:37 am

      My brother you are the man, you hammered the nail on the head. This man deserves better though it has taken him years to realise it. If you are still dreaming in that shit of a marriage wake up man.

  2. Abena   November 9, 2012 at 9:08 am

    She is not worth being called a wife! Doc, are you that stranded? Give a boot on her buttocks and ensure her friends also receive their shares! Work up man…what does she have that other women do not have? She is a danger to you grwing up child. Exit her…………………………..

  3. Cilibbebbede   November 9, 2012 at 9:17 am

    Get rid of her now!

  4. mpho   November 12, 2012 at 5:49 am

    dump her

  5. muchinda   November 14, 2012 at 11:59 am

    If she is doing that to you, then you should look out for the best out of her friends. they should be one out of her friend whom shall respect and love you as her hub. otherwise all are friends are just making a full of her in that you replace her with them than she realize them not to be true friends.
    think big doc

  6. osward mwaisumo   November 21, 2012 at 10:34 am

    that’s very Zambian doc. she shouldn’t cheat you in the name new culture. if anything she is already cheating on you that’s why she has no regards for you. am sure in your absence men sleep on that bed.but honestly DR are you so stranded that you cant get a better woman even from your country if Zambians have disappointed you? am amazed because you as doctor you know the route of HIV. that woman is a hooker trying to siphon wealth from you. watch out DR.

  7. pompolingo   November 26, 2012 at 2:33 pm

    you a fool,with that wife of yours ,thats why you can love her
    young man wake up please

  8. Real Talk   December 18, 2012 at 8:41 pm

    My man, if you have any bit of wisdom left in you, I suggest you listen and read to the end my comment. First of all you are a mongrel,simply because the idiot in you has demonstrated stupidity of the lowest grade. As a man, you need to put your foot down, let alone your stupid and immature courtship. Am more than angered by your situation. That whore you call a wife has never loved you and has never been perfect. In fact, you tell her this very moment to scram and get the hell out. I cannot imagine such foolishness in my own home. Surely you can’t have been blind as not to have noticed any of this bull… Once you have gotten rid of her, divorce her split 50/50 simply because that’s the requirement of the law and move on. Let her F@#$% off. If you need any assistance finding marriage material,see a counselor. Obviously you are too dull to find one. *cursing*

  9. Wizz   January 3, 2013 at 6:44 pm

    Mmmm what Zambian Lady, probably from the pit of hell. I am sorry about that behavior as though it was among wild animals.

  10. G CHANDA   January 9, 2013 at 1:11 pm

    she is very stupid, tumfweko let that man contact me and marry me the lady she is going to regret ever allowing friends sleeping on the matrimonial bed. bad manners. we need husband material her she is playing with it. where can i find this man so that i teach that foolish girl a lesson that she will never forget in her life.

    • fabunastic   January 29, 2013 at 12:04 pm

      sense G!she’s such a disgrace to womanhood..

  11. umuntu mutwe   December 2, 2013 at 4:59 pm

    Ba doc are you sure this true and are you a true qualified doctor? If the answer is yes the n you yourself must be sick in the head- chase that DOG- anunka kaputula

  12. Irmao   December 3, 2013 at 11:57 am

    man wake up that is not suitable to be a house wife, infact she is demonic

  13. CLENCY   December 6, 2013 at 9:12 am

    This is a friendly advice doc,just grub one of her friends period

  14. rose samiselo   May 2, 2014 at 11:41 am

    doc jst bonk one of her frends n let her find u in bed then she.l stop all da nosense…

  15. jj   May 13, 2014 at 10:08 am

    Be man enough & teach that wife of urs manners, dnt just watch what she does and never do something about it, by the time u realize ur house wud have been bold, u the head bro u have all the authority to stop that nonsense tell her onese & for all.

  16. NACHIMBUSA   June 12, 2014 at 1:53 pm


  17. SMILER   July 5, 2014 at 11:22 am