I’m Pregnant For My Married Boyfriend, He Doesn’t Know I’m Also HIV+

I’m Pregnant For My Married Boyfriend, He Doesn’t Know I’m Also HIV+

“Hi Editor,

Can you publish my story? Use this same email address to  write me back if you need more information.

I’m a young lady aged 21 from Kafue.

I was on the street working as a sex worker for about a year and a half until I met this man. I was only doing that to raise money for my school.

This man took me to his place and we had sex. We we never used protection, because he insisted and offered to pay a lot more for going in without protection so I gave in.

Then he told me not to go back to the streets, he said he wanted me to be his girlfriend until his wife who is abroad returned home. Since then he has been sleeping with me just like hi own wife. I got pregnant for him and one day during a routine check for all pregnant women I tested positive to HIV but I have not told him about it.

The man is an accountant and lives a comfortable life and can’t afford to lose him. His wife will be returning from  UK in December but I’m not ready to move out because I  feel he’s also my husband.

What can I do at this point? I feel so confused and don’t know what to do.

Confused Lady”

120 Responses to "I’m Pregnant For My Married Boyfriend, He Doesn’t Know I’m Also HIV+"

  1. J J   October 11, 2012 at 12:29 pm

    True, that man is now your husband too. The Bible says when a man sleeps with a prostitute then the two become one. Tell him your situation and allow him make some decisions before his first wife returns.

  2. chisapi   October 11, 2012 at 1:10 pm

    @Sweety. You are missing the point. My morals are not the issue. Shameful or not is a point of view. In some cultures a man can give a visitor his wife for the night as part of hospitality and it is considered normal. But for me I make my own rules. We are in different world’s. Let us accept that.

    The physical reality is that even in marriages there are discordant couples (one positive, the other negative) who have been sleeping without protection for years. The HIV virus is one of the hardest to transmit, the conditions have to be near perfect for transmission to take place e.g broken skin, high viral load in the infected partner etc. So in short the guy could be still negative.

  3. CC   October 11, 2012 at 3:03 pm

    its bad manners for a man to do such a disgusting thing.let your part time husband know wats on b4 its too late.SHAME

  4. wasp   October 11, 2012 at 3:37 pm

    who knows, maybe it is the man who transimited the virus.

  5. abudabi   October 12, 2012 at 10:07 pm

    its possible that its the man who could have infected the lady.so the lady stop crying now,so many people have survived with such a status for so many years.

  6. Onga   October 13, 2012 at 10:29 am

    @Kay, i agree with u, hiv is just a combination of diseases & is manageable. So lady, dot be confused, just tell your man about your status and move on. Im sure hes also hiv+

  7. keith   October 13, 2012 at 12:19 pm

    I believe they both infected each other ,who knows how many prostitutes he has been sleeping around with in his capacity as an accountant-its poverty on the side of the girl that contributed to her status.
    Poor wife who might just get infected without knowing.God protects the innocent anyway.

  8. Guidance Counsellor   October 14, 2012 at 4:05 pm

    girl, there’s nothing to be confused about, for that man to be picking even prostitutes from the streets, he was sowing, so let him reap what he was sowing,who knows the man might even be on ARVs, i just wish the wife could be told immediately she arrives to prevent her from contracting the virus.

    please take care of youself so that
    your unborn child doesn’t get infected too.

    possibly start thinking about going back to school. all the best

  9. malilwe   October 17, 2012 at 9:06 am

    galfrnd,gng on the streets isnt da only option 4 1 2 raise money 4 sku fees,they are other options of doing dat o myb start working as a maid.i jst feel sori 4 da legal wife..tel yo boyfrnd da truth i min abt da status b4 its 2 late…u deserve ech atha cz both of u re hiv+ am sure das s da kind of lyf style he lvs by sleepng with PROSTITUTES…

  10. Maiguruu in Uk   October 17, 2012 at 9:41 am

    u r just a lucky bitch enjoy ur posh marriage.

  11. Kinks   October 17, 2012 at 12:17 pm

    Oh, what a situation. The lady should immediately tell the hubby before the wife returns. Though it is difficult, the man should in turn tell the first wife when she returns about the situation at hand. True, he may or may not be positive, hence the need for HIV test so that he has the right info for the wife when she returns. It is not fare for the man to sleep with the returning wife without a thorough check on his status.

  12. Dr.D   October 19, 2012 at 3:13 pm

    Shez nice and sexy ine ku cupafye nokumulabako umwina uk.

  13. GUNMETAL   October 22, 2012 at 12:22 pm

    YES I

  14. kalark   October 23, 2012 at 8:12 pm

    Kaloba ifyo yaba,give the wife abroad I keep her 4 da keeps.

  15. Mulenga   October 24, 2012 at 10:09 am

    It’s nt your problem a lone. You love the man and I hope he loves you in the same way. Be open to him, so that he know his status for the walfare of his family. Trust in God.

  16. trici$t   October 26, 2012 at 9:21 am


  17. P.C.C   November 6, 2012 at 9:25 am

    Not wise to raise money thru prostitution cos de consequences are ghastry to contemplate.U can reap what u sow.

  18. mahuwa   November 13, 2012 at 1:27 pm

    just tell him

  19. Karen   December 5, 2012 at 10:22 am

    i pray the wife will be wise enough to go for an hiv test upon her return. i would do that seriously coz we are living in a funny world. God please protect the returning wife.