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Marrying a Divorcee; Please Advise!
Tumone what you are doing is most generous.
I’ve never been on one of these forums to seek advice, because my mother has always been my guidance. But today I am in a situation where I feel I cannot speak to anyone.
So my story goes like this,
I’ve known of a guy most my life through family relation.. So our families had limited contact in years, and he married when we was young through family arrangments. After a year and half of his relation, his wife gave divorce notice through a islamic body and papers were sent to him, he did not respond so they asssumed the marriage was ended. So firstly I want to know if it is a proper divorce, as he says he has no kinds of feelings but he does not have a divorce certificate as such.
I knew of his mishap, after 3 years of his relation breaking down I began talking to him just to get to know him better. Soon after he told me he had feelings for me and he loves me and as time passed I began to like him, news got out to my family my mother did not approve infact she was furious. She explained to me what it would be like getting involved with a married man, I went against all odds and I thought I’d be strong enough to accept it and not let it get to me. No-one in my family approves of him and our relation, they have said what the outcomes would be if I do and they are totally against it. I love my father dearly and don’t want to hurt him, butI also don’t want to be unhappy and be married to someone I don’t love.
We made plenty of promises to eachother we would not leave eachother. He knew how dedicated I am to my belief and faith, so in the spur of the moment he made me promise all kinds of things in the name of God.
Posted by Admin
on October 15, 2012. Filed under LIFE & STYLE, STYLE.
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uskomatonta
October 15, 2012 at 12:19 pm
Mwe chipuba mweeee!!!!!!
Janet c
October 15, 2012 at 12:32 pm
As long as him and the wife have been living apart for 2 years at least, then that marriage is null and void. marry the man my sister – you only live once on this earth – you both deserve happiness. Problem in zambia ppl hang on to dysfunctional marriages to please society – to hell with society, one deserves happiness in this life.
eng
October 15, 2012 at 1:26 pm
wat makes you think there will be happiness this time around
demba ba
October 15, 2012 at 1:28 pm
Firstly ask your boyfriend to talk things over with the EX(husband) and if they divorce on custom grounds then u may go ahead and marry him but most importantly read the Bible and understand the biblical meaning of divorce and then you act on those biblical grounds…Moreover, marriage is about three people i.e man,woman and God as the overall head of the house!!!!
SAD
October 15, 2012 at 2:32 pm
GENERAL KANENE`S SONG. MUZAKO ATAAYA IWE WADOBBA
My Dear leader MCS
October 15, 2012 at 2:40 pm
Marry and live sadly thereafter,,,,,,Divorcees are tricky, i hope he will not compare you to his former wife all your miserable life
shoes
October 15, 2012 at 3:22 pm
@ janet c you are right.A lot of women are subject to abuse in the name of marriage as shipikisha club. If you can’t workout things please split in peace not pieces.Why should you stick to someone you can’t share happiness with. You can just diepofye eve asala anyopola.
Sparks Chimbwendembwende
October 15, 2012 at 3:33 pm
All of you commentators are missing the point. The lady is a Muslim!!! a Musulumani!! She can get married!! In fact the man can get married up to four women at one go. This lady must just marry the man and commence bonking, period!!!
Chibesa
October 15, 2012 at 4:44 pm
If they have not commenced already!!!! lol..
Mwashi
October 15, 2012 at 3:58 pm
While it’s important that a family blesses one’s marriage,pipo shud always remember that marriage is for two pipo only and thus whetha to marry or not shud be made by only those two pipo. I have seen a lot of miserable marriages bcoz of ths shipikisha nosense-there are limits to everything and u only live once..
milly
October 15, 2012 at 8:03 pm
are you indian by descent?why would the man stay apart from wife. was it arranged mariage?
Genaro the Analyst
October 15, 2012 at 8:19 pm
imwe this lady myt b the rizon y the mared woman wants a divorce, this guy has bin comunicating wit hz lngtym fairytale gal nd da wyf doznt lyk t,shz running for her lyf,u too will runawy,no nomo man lives hz wyf fo a fairytale.i doubt h ll mary u.
kakolwe
October 15, 2012 at 9:52 pm
Woman, your Quran allows you to be married as a gang to 1 dick. In fact your Allah will give 72 virgins to be deflowered by q dickless spirit who blows up an American Embasy as a suicide bomber! So just join into the stupid forey!!
Candy
October 16, 2012 at 12:54 pm
I wonder why the wife gave a divorce notice…Maybe something is wrong with the guy,say dickwise…
muzyamba Momba
November 13, 2012 at 12:24 pm
Just make sure you investigate him. findout how he treated his wife. you may be his next victim. what is it that the wife was tired of in him?
Barbed Wire
December 7, 2012 at 7:43 am
Uli ichuipuba woman. The usual problem of not listening to your parents and when things go bad, you will be in tears giving problems to everyone arround you. Silly woman indeed!