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I’m A Single Lady at 42, Will A Man Still Marry Me?
Am I under a spell? I feel ashamed and embarrassed. I know some people would want to nail me after reading just the headline but I feel this is getting out of hand.
I clocked 42 last July and to be candid I’m not into any serious relationship. I’m from Southern Province, the first daughter out of 7 children. I hope you won’t feel offended as I would not further disclose my identity for obvious reason.
Just last year, our last born who works with a popular telecommunication company got married to her longtime boyfriend, leaving only me hugging ‘tubes and tyres.’ I’ve gone for prayers in several churches; they promised me that my husband would appear in no distant time. In fact, the last prayer house I went in a popular church, the man of God told me that ‘if he be a man of God, before the year runs out, my dream man would appear.’
Another one told me I was the architect of my predicament, saying that I’ve missed the opportunity. When I was in my mid 20s, I had many ‘toasters’ but they were never my dream men. I used to think my kind of guy was the tall, dark and handsome one. Preferably banker, but now they are not forthcoming.
I was in a relationship with an ex-footballer but I dumped him when I could no longer cope with his kind of person. Now, I’m even ashamed of living in the same house with my parents at my age.
Please what can I do to help myself at 42?
Posted by
Aubrey
February 28, 2013 at 9:09 pm
Give this lady my email address so that we can have a chat and see how best I can assist her. God is the provider. Read about Sara in the bible.
M.K the original
February 28, 2013 at 10:02 pm
Let this pridicament story of this sister be a lesson to many women and girls out there. Your story has all the answers it deserves and no normal man can fail to read between the line what has happened to your life. 1. You were too playful in your 20s and then what to cry foul, whom are you fooling? 2 different men approached you to ask for the hand in marraige but you foolishly turned them down, obvously looking for someone with wealth, were you fare to yourself? 3. Looking and praying for the banker, and yet you are lying that you approached different pastors and churches for help, is that not being matrialistic? 4.Like self esteemed women who have highly priced themselves thinking you are so beautiful to catch the most handsome man, is it not a lesson enough that you casted your own spell of shame and unluck in your life? The answers to you problem is endless, but take heed, you are more than a second hand woman who can not catch the heart of any serious man looking a decent womn to marry, meaning its either you will get marriad to a widower, a devourcee or a ploygamist with many children on board. Its not time for you to cry, but to look for someone who can help you buld your life.
Vinco
March 1, 2013 at 9:01 pm
I like your comment, cash talk!
GK
March 5, 2013 at 11:55 am
Yes you are a sharp shooter. This thing about women looking for wealthy men, its amazing. They have no clue that two people build together. Emalibu yakuilombela.
alfred
February 28, 2013 at 10:42 pm
adge is not problem as long as youv got percience u will find yo happyness,just put every thing in gods hands,remember that he does not fail.
Zyuku Walola
March 1, 2013 at 3:47 am
Wonderful observasion MK. I would add that she went to the Lord’s houses with very un reasonable purpose. She did not go there in belief and faith. Any way, she can try this guy in USA who is just 72 and rich.
MMD Cadre
March 1, 2013 at 12:21 pm
Spelling please
BRICKMAN
February 28, 2013 at 11:06 pm
My dear lady,marriage is not everything. You can still be happy without being married. In fact,most marriages nowadays are a source of UNHAPPINES that people wish they never married.
Ask God the Almighty to reveal your true purpose in this life.
Yes you have your own desires as a human being but let God show you the way.
yabili
March 1, 2013 at 3:53 pm
iwee obo ebupuba tweba
Chicken
March 4, 2013 at 5:00 pm
pipo are now looking for material things and too much sleeping around thats why too many problems in marriages
Mutoba kongo
March 1, 2013 at 2:58 am
Mbuya! Old is gold.some gold digger will surely come your way.am sure for you to have wanted a banker so badly,you must be some sort of a treasurer os some organisation.
I bet u heard wht men had to say?????ukutemwa money nabamukabene wechipuba
March 1, 2013 at 8:01 am
I bet u heard wht men had to say?????ukutemwa money nabamukabene wechipuba
PIKE
March 1, 2013 at 8:23 am
Zambian ladies the problem that you have is pretense and love of money which will kill you.Virgin nkote crying. few people marry their choice. what is important is mutual understanding between the parties involve. do not look at the wealth of a person, morphology and other attractive things but what that person wants from you.women are best psychologists and you are able to know whether somebody is cheating you or not. the advise to that lady is continue praying to you God and he never fails.the problem is praying and doing other immoral things.
poorman
March 1, 2013 at 10:22 am
God will give one day.
yortum
March 1, 2013 at 10:43 am
You know,things have changed these dayz if no guy is coming forward to propose why not propose yourself i have seen that.
mike
March 1, 2013 at 10:44 am
there is time for everything yours passed but even so never loose hope for with faith anything is possible
Anthony chisanga
March 1, 2013 at 10:52 am
AT 42 YEARS YES YOU CAN BE MARRIED AND HAVE CHILDREN
IF I WAS NOT MARRIED I COULD HAVE MARRIED YOU BUT CAN YOU AGREE
Dig deeper
March 1, 2013 at 11:00 am
Marriage is not a casual relationship to be entered into or dismissed at will.
mwebe
March 1, 2013 at 11:48 am
Your amswer is with@MK Original.Women are pretentious animals,they spend more time pretending.and when they realised that time is running out….. they discover that all potential men are taken…..
Umupandapwiti
March 1, 2013 at 12:00 pm
Singing ” Kukwata umwana
Kukwata umwana
Kukwata umwana eponshilasendwa na ma years
Boma iyelele boma” x2
MUMU
March 1, 2013 at 12:32 pm
just keep on waiting
Voicaman
March 1, 2013 at 1:02 pm
I am sorry about your story.What i can tell you is this, never belitle anyone in life. Each one of us has a role to play in life,rich or poor.And it is from this two groups of people that you should expect to find a husband or wife. So, what I can say is that you may have missed your God given husband in the past but still your Heavenly Father will still give you someone at your age, poor or rich but a husband for you.
Bonkist
March 1, 2013 at 2:47 pm
just come to me; i will be bonking you for free..
Edwin Phiri in Luwingu
March 1, 2013 at 2:56 pm
put everything to God. At 42, yes you can be married. I remember reading one article in the post newspaper were an 50 year old known women (unionist)was married and she is happy. with God everything is possible. in most cases what makes women not to be married is boasting when they are still young.
mcm
March 1, 2013 at 3:49 pm
im 38 and i have never been married.i proposed love 2 a lady that i wanted 2 marry but ser rejected me because she was maybe looking for a superman.many years passed by and there was no man forth coming. when i proposed the lassed time after so many year she agreed 2 get married 2 me and we’ll get married next year.i almost moved on bcoz of my studies and work. now, the message here is if i had moved on may no other man wud have approached her and she wud have ended up like u.pliz let love be love.money can go what lady needs is someone who can love her and money comes leta. thank u.
8walya
March 1, 2013 at 11:27 pm
action speaks louder than words act now … We chat on facebook …. mathews mubanga …. 0955/0965274737
TETA
March 2, 2013 at 1:06 am
owe menopause yafika bana peleniko umuntu ka baby
JELITA
March 2, 2013 at 9:49 am
As long as you have a cunt men will come. But keep it clean and safe.
SOSWE
March 2, 2013 at 10:17 am
Ifyanakashi ifitonga tafyupwa bwangu.
Cheers
March 5, 2013 at 2:59 am
Iwe chi Kolwestan….what has tribe got to do with this??? Ubututu….sha!!!
Observer
March 3, 2013 at 10:53 am
Iwe Dora Siliya we know you…Go to “Read 4 Marriage”
bOB
March 3, 2013 at 2:06 pm
TRY DATING A JW AND THEY WILL PUMP SOME SENSE INTO YOUR ANXIOUS HEART. REPEAT THIS WISH AFTER ME,” LORD I AM SORRY FOR BEING SUCH A FOOL… FORGIVE ME MY LORD”, AMEN
The wistle blower
March 3, 2013 at 6:08 pm
Please remove all the conditions you have put for a man you want to be your husband.Things like he must be a banker,tall,black and handsome will NEVER help you.There are men out there who are not bankers,not black and not handsome but yet very good men who would give you a happy life as a married woman.Your age is not really a big problem because it is just a number but you should NEVER give a man conditions before he marries you because you will surely lose him.
sachi
March 4, 2013 at 3:23 pm
Dnt wory mama find somthig 2 do n leave yo parents house,have faith in GOD n he will provide remember is a GOD of posibilities.
Sunta Sunkutu
March 4, 2013 at 5:00 pm
My dear sister, your story is a very common one amongst women who used to skit ( Shakara in Nigeria, Ku meka, show off) when they were hot properties. My experience as a guy is that, most of the really stunning girls I was with at university would never ever go out with a fellow student, instead, they would choose to date married men who would pick them up for pizzas and working boys who had dozens of other girlfriends. we were too useless for them. “thank you Fathers” we used to be called.
within 10 years of completing university after you’ve met and married your sweetheart, the same stunning university girls begin to call trying to find out if your are married and letting you know how they’ve always loved you from the days of campus Blah blah blah. the only problem is am no longer on the singles market and the stunning university girl is not so stunning any more. This is very common and a lot of guys will testify to this experience.If you were a good girl, you are most likely a “Virgin Nkote” who set extremely high standards for a mere mortal man and it has taken you this long to discover that Mr. Perfecto doesnt exist.
mathews
March 5, 2013 at 10:38 am
fiibi! ifintu ifi! very un pleasant senario there. kuyafye kuli bu sister!
uncle C
March 5, 2013 at 10:59 am
You still want abanker.keep on waiting.
Mwelimo Manguvyala
March 5, 2013 at 3:33 pm
It could be that you are under a spell or you missed the opportunity when you were young because of what your priorities about marriage could have been. Marriage is all about mutual love and not status. Sometimes wealth comes while people are already in marriage. I an african set-up, we have not yet reached a stage where a man could have wealth before marriage. We are all from the first generation of povert background. That is, first generation from the bush.
mbashe
March 5, 2013 at 3:51 pm
shout the name JESUS 3 times and you shall recieve a phone call.AMEN
jojo wehombe
March 5, 2013 at 4:14 pm
Call me on 0026377889977600 Zim, I will come there pronto. Do Zambians accept animals and cash for lobola. Then I will drive all the elephants along the Zambezi valley to your parents. Im just 69 and single
Frans
March 5, 2013 at 5:38 pm
My dear sister the bible is straight on all the issues.1.To start with you need to be sincere and honesty with yourself.
2.Before you kneel down to pray to God look at your back ground.Tell your God the true about your self ,how many men you hv disappointed slept with etc.
3.Do you have achild or not at your age you cant stay without a child
timothy
March 5, 2013 at 6:17 pm
there’s more to life than just marriage. find your own happiness. if u did’nt know men are evil.
big ben
March 5, 2013 at 7:59 pm
continue praying to God he is never late
Mwinecho
March 6, 2013 at 12:12 pm
R u still a virgin? if so pls contact me ASAP.
tombist
March 10, 2013 at 12:37 am
yaba, desparador
The spiter
April 9, 2013 at 10:06 pm
at yo age craying to bad.anyway oneday you will find one
Mulenga Mumbi
May 4, 2013 at 5:35 pm
This is a case where i have seen a lot of ladies regretting when its too late. The problem is that most ladies tend to have high fake hopes about a husband of their dreams.
ladies, one thing you must know is that for that dream man to appear and manifest you must start together some where with him. A real man of vision and insight wants to start with his wife on a humble stage, where he is just starting to build his “empire” with the wife of his youth.
But if a man finds a lady who puts unnecessary pressure and expectorations on him, he will definatley flee you, and as you keep doing that to the men you meet, they will keep running away from you. The other thing about ladies is that they want to please their friends with the kind of man they want to marry. remember follow your your heart and not your friend’s unreal, deceptive and jealous advise.