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I’m A Single Lady at 42, Will A Man Still Marry Me?
Am I under a spell? I feel ashamed and embarrassed. I know some people would want to nail me after reading just the headline but I feel this is getting out of hand.
I clocked 42 last July and to be candid I’m not into any serious relationship. I’m from Southern Province, the first daughter out of 7 children. I hope you won’t feel offended as I would not further disclose my identity for obvious reason.
Just last year, our last born who works with a popular telecommunication company got married to her longtime boyfriend, leaving only me hugging ‘tubes and tyres.’ I’ve gone for prayers in several churches; they promised me that my husband would appear in no distant time. In fact, the last prayer house I went in a popular church, the man of God told me that ‘if he be a man of God, before the year runs out, my dream man would appear.’
Another one told me I was the architect of my predicament, saying that I’ve missed the opportunity. When I was in my mid 20s, I had many ‘toasters’ but they were never my dream men. I used to think my kind of guy was the tall, dark and handsome one. Preferably banker, but now they are not forthcoming.
I was in a relationship with an ex-footballer but I dumped him when I could no longer cope with his kind of person. Now, I’m even ashamed of living in the same house with my parents at my age.
Please what can I do to help myself at 42?
Posted by
kakolwe
February 28, 2013 at 2:56 am
You put it right your self dear Sister. You saw them & none of them were your ‘dream’ man. Go and meet your dream man inyour dreams & ‘DREAM ON!’
Or else ask B1
Scofield
February 28, 2013 at 3:27 pm
Shani uku chitako?
Democrat
February 28, 2013 at 5:30 am
At 42, awe kwena utumyaka twaya almost reaching meno pause! The problem with most of the ladies they want a rich man to marry them. 4geting that behind every successfull man there’s a woman. Nomba mwamona mwashala muli mwamoneni.
kwasha mukwenu
February 28, 2013 at 5:37 am
Ndiwe chabe cipuba TONGA COW!!!
EYE OF THE GOVERNMENT
February 28, 2013 at 5:45 am
SORRY, IT IS TOO LATE BUT YOU CAN GO TO THE CATHOLIC CONVENT TO SERVE GOD
CALLED WISE
February 28, 2013 at 6:17 am
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*HARDWORKING ….ETC….
BUT WHILE SHE HERSELF LACKS SOME OF THEM.
SOME END UP MEETING ICE-GUYS INSTEAD OF MEETING NICE-GUYS.
CALLED WISE
February 28, 2013 at 6:28 am
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Cumbu Munshololwa SC
February 28, 2013 at 7:20 am
My advice to you my sister is to be patient. Gods time is the best. Ask Joice Nonde Simukoko, she also got married too late, there she is very happy now. Your man will come, but do not get so desperate as to get any rif raff. Make sure when he comes make sure you have him tested for STD and other virusese before you tie a note. Do not also allow yourself to be used in the name of marriege. Remember,no s*x before marriege.
Me
February 28, 2013 at 7:52 pm
Who told you that Joyce is happily married? Wen u c her smiling on the street,dot assume all is rose in the bedroom.secrete ni ku bed.
Candy
February 28, 2013 at 7:36 am
The problem with you is that you were too selective which i believe you still are.There are no ideal men out there,you just have to make the most of what comes your way and mind you,you can make a banker out of an ordinary guy..All you need is prayer.May God grant you your heart most desire….
Lisa
February 28, 2013 at 9:54 am
vry gud advise @Candy.
izubu
February 28, 2013 at 8:17 am
Many ladies have missed their bird becoz they spend their mid 20s (appropriate time for marriage)jumping up and down from man to man and when its too late, thats when they think of settling down… its a wake up call to our ladies
Mpumba Mikowa
February 28, 2013 at 8:20 am
To be frank with you my dear sister,42 years are on a higher side more especially if we consider child bearing.You are almost nearing meno pause.The man you would get married to will obviously insist to bear him a child.Naikosako situation.I feel pity.
nawaitwika
February 28, 2013 at 9:07 am
You will now get married to any man coz I can see you now seem desparate 42 yrs is not bad I think you can marry a widower but pliz be tested for HIV and know what caused the death of the wife the man must have children already so that you will just be there as a helper or just for sex.I say so bcoz you are almost reaching menopause. Do not marry a divorce he will also divorce you for the same reasons that he divorced the first wife. Naishupako iyi you wanted a banker and a handsome guy where do you work? tell us. Are you beautiful yourself. Banakulu ichefyeniko naimwe ichilumba chibi.
Eazy Doez It
February 28, 2013 at 9:08 am
Am very much sure its you having problems with men,its either you work or you too harsh with men,men doesn’t love women who are too bosting you want to put a man under your control just because you working;tefyo caba now lying to pipo that you haven’t meet a man of your dreams,which dreams?find me on FB.
Amai tilikuseli
February 28, 2013 at 9:10 am
You want a banker meaning you love money so much thats why you are still single.
toho
February 28, 2013 at 9:31 am
join twoo network
CHINOKOLE
February 28, 2013 at 9:44 am
Mama,just like what all these pipo are saying there is no ideal man for you.Let me tell u my story,on how i met my cute wife,she is very beautiful,when i say beautiful u can also affirm that.She met me as a drunkard,womaniser but thank God she accepted me despite all my shortcomings.She changed me tramendously in all aspects of life,iam born again we live happily with our kids.Everyday i thank her because iam successful in life, she married me when i was not having all that we have today and what iam today is because of her.So behind every successful man is a woman.So what iam trying to tell u is that there is no man u re looking for out there its incumbent upon u to make an ideal man u are looking for out of an unideal man.So good lucky as u look forward to marriage life.
tema
February 28, 2013 at 9:46 am
I Think you were made not to be married. Continue being like that otherwise you may end falling in A BIG fire.
chiwele
February 28, 2013 at 10:19 am
Am sorry my sister to tell u this coze u ladies now u think u are made of Gold and what u are thinking in yo head is what u are expecting to happen. am sorry heal world thing does not go like that.Husband does not come like old story grands use to say, and the biggest problem is that going to pastors thing will come ok for u that pastors are like u it only the true faith that u have with God, and God cannot give in this situation coze u are not asking God in truth but just bcoze u want to get marriage.take time and build yo faith with God and born in spirit not that u are going to churches for the seek of having a husband no God does not work like that.God is spirit and give who ask in truth in him, so ask forgiveness and start a new life in christ and God will u at his time.
nawaitwika
February 28, 2013 at 10:30 am
Yes I will marry you but you must be beautifull, slim, abit dark in complection, with long hair, tall and ontop of that you must be an accountant, you must also have a nice 4 x 4 car bcoz you have to take care of me ie feed me, give me pocket money, buy fuel in the car that I will be driving be prepared to spoil me and give me something KR1000 Friday those are the conditions am giving you to take my girlfriends out.
game meat
February 28, 2013 at 10:36 am
What do you do for a living lady. Men do longer go for tamanga women. Tamanga men are scared of getting hooked up with a fellow tamanga woman for fear of financial insecurity. They would rather get a well established lady regardless of the age. So what do you do for a living?
nawakwi
February 28, 2013 at 10:47 am
You are not alone bawesu at 42 still single, mwapitilila na sate (30) yrs mwandi forget about marriage which man would want to marry nkote? no child/ren chansoni sana but i understand u my big sister/cousin coz i have a relative at 42 also no children, no man friend but not sure if she is a vigin i feel pity for her, she is a loner-working with a stable job no where to spend her money with sad. my relative also had the same motive towards men now its too last…kuyafye kuli ma widow or hiv+ men for companion if they are not occupd***Bamuna bali pa Demand hahaha!!!!
FM
February 28, 2013 at 10:55 am
believe in yourself and God not what you get from people remember even people that are praying for you might have problems too,to help you,you need someone who will help in prayers and believing in God.I wish i would give my number so that you can call…bane lets help the sister by constructive advise.
Truth2
February 28, 2013 at 10:57 am
I will advise you to listen to what Chinokole has said but I will also add a few things.You have to look into your past life and find where you went wrong.Look at all the men that came for you and why you rejected them.Differentiate between reality and dreams.From all these things find your wrongs,repent and change your ways.But,looking at every aspect of your past life and it happens that you can’nt trace any wrong doing,then you have to change your attitude towards men i.e change your dream life to reality and never pretend.
Peter Bungane
February 28, 2013 at 10:58 am
Call this number I will get a man for you at no charge. Be raedy to undergo HIV/std and fertility test.
If you aborted then forget marriage.
0979346060
Rupiah Banda
February 28, 2013 at 11:08 am
Continue praying and have faith yourself ……remember Abraham and Sarah in the bible?…..so shall it be with you if you only believe that to God all things are possible.
nawakwi
February 28, 2013 at 11:13 am
let us be honest with our sister. from the age of 20 – 42 yrs you mean she could not hook an accountable,casheir/bank tailers? ladies learn to say the truth”you had wanted to meet perfecto” but where on earth? a sensible gentleman will always ask what transpaired between 20-42. let it be a lesson to others. the only man you will find is someone you will be keeping just to give you children.
ck
February 28, 2013 at 11:22 am
Have faith in God the almighty with him everything is possible.
MMD Cadre
February 28, 2013 at 11:45 am
One friendly advice my sister, it is not a curse to be single. Do not rush to get anything in the name of a man because you will crash. Take your time. God’s time is the best. If you were not meant to be someone’s wife so be it. There are a lot of single ladies out there. They lead very happy lives. If you are able to look after yourself go ahead. It is better to eat crumbs in happiness than cake in misery. Do not despair because you only have yourself to blame when you end up in a miserable relationship. I myself have been widowed for 15 years but I am happy living as a single mother looking after my children.
alice njovu
February 28, 2013 at 2:32 pm
atleast you have children now your friend zero and it is like someone crying shoes meanwhile somebody is lame without legs.
webster mukonka
February 28, 2013 at 12:16 pm
call me on 0967-949684
Ndate
February 28, 2013 at 12:31 pm
Just like there are no ideal men,there are no ideal women as well,we just live with them women and make them who we want them to be,women please learn
Possible
February 28, 2013 at 12:33 pm
Stop going to Church or seeking prayers for marriage reasons. Seek God first ,set no conditions to your committement to GOD.God is the rewarder of those who diligently seek him.If believe nothing is impossible .The past is gone never look back. Your eyes on Jesus Christ who is your future.
kays
February 28, 2013 at 12:36 pm
cum join me in a village hut as long as u are not a gold digger
faithful
February 28, 2013 at 12:38 pm
Bane when someone drops a problem lets learn to advise them nicely than taking it as a joke,these people needs our proper advice,lets give them facts, these people are in serious problems.some doesn’t have people to share their issues with thats why they bring their issues on the net for help.
VEN
February 28, 2013 at 3:28 pm
So what’s your cotribution wise fool?
Me
February 28, 2013 at 7:55 pm
Dream on if you think u can get advise here.infact who dropped thi lashing just wants to divert you insults on politician
Baruch Hashem
February 28, 2013 at 1:00 pm
My Dearest,
ignore all these negative comments, 42 is just an age, some May never reach. there is someone out there that is meant for you. take to heart, trust God and not man.
If you so desire, it shall be so, just have faith.
ZIG-ZAG
February 28, 2013 at 1:03 pm
Its OK dear. You can find happiness without marrying. God be with you.
ZIG-ZAG
February 28, 2013 at 1:05 pm
Try to SMS ‘husband wanted’ and send to 4142 on any network.
ken
February 28, 2013 at 1:18 pm
The biggest problem with you right now is that you still live with your parents. Forget the missed opportunities and work on the current situation. Go out there, live your parents house, join your church group and socialise responsibly.
man from kazembe
February 28, 2013 at 1:33 pm
One blogger Peter Bungane has indicated that he can find a man for her and Peter has put his cell number. Iam just from calling peter and he answered and he is very serious about this. Why has the lady not called peter? Is she fearing the conditions of going for various tests?
Redeemed
February 28, 2013 at 1:58 pm
people lets avoid making a big issue out of other people’s problems. we all have our own issues. who tells u marriage belongs only to the perfect..ichibemba ati ichupo chikala napatufi; meaning anyone can can get married)- young, old, dirty, educated, poor, rich, short, tall, hule, decent, good character, bad character..it can happen to anyone as long as their time comes. so when u live in a glass house never cast stones cause ur life may have short comings in another area..
ken
February 28, 2013 at 3:27 pm
Iliko rather! Nokufulwa so!
Wise man
February 28, 2013 at 1:59 pm
That’s a talent on its on,the bible says not everypone has the talent of being single.
By the way are you still a virgin?
Aha! Ok iliko bad iyi nangu ni talent kuti yabafya.
Anyway there is still hope as long as widowers will continue to exist you will be the oldest nabwinga. At 52 years of age and break the record.
DORO
February 28, 2013 at 2:24 pm
She is a tym waster let her marry herself and fulfil her desires of having a perfect man wen all human beings on earth are not perfect.
woyera
February 28, 2013 at 2:33 pm
Gods time is the best.
Timbwi
February 28, 2013 at 2:44 pm
God will not give you a husband until you are ready for him. As an example,will God grant a husband to someone who spend most of her time in night clubs? So please look at your relationship with God. If it’s not good, let Jesus be your saviour and you will have a husband. God is good and he knows what is best for you.
Tho r ns
February 28, 2013 at 3:02 pm
May god grant you your wish .To god every thing is possible
A lonely & Mature Gentleman
February 28, 2013 at 5:01 pm
Please stop complaining and just provide me with your phone number urgently and i shall call you. I am a widower with four children and looking for a mature woman like you. I am aged 47 plus and I feel a woman aged 42 is good for me. Please hurry! hurry! Send me your mobile phone number and i shall definetly call you. I have a very good job – engineering manager with one of the best manufacturing companies south of the equator and doing very fine.
A lonely & Mature Gentleman
February 28, 2013 at 5:03 pm
Please if you are really serious, I am waiting for your phone number today or tomorrow.
Shibukombe
February 28, 2013 at 5:29 pm
Virgin Nkote, ndiwe chikali kaili wamentena.
Amai tilikuseli
February 28, 2013 at 5:55 pm
Please people stop talking about Jesus and God in hevean the woman wants a man now.Please woman call me on 0966780416 i want a second wife.
chi-weed
February 28, 2013 at 7:57 pm
continue waiting for Mr perfecto..these are the consequences of playing hard to get
Me
February 28, 2013 at 8:02 pm
If for real,then u r very ****** lady,you mean at 42 stil staying at you parents,spoilt brant.no wonder u can’t even find a man.who wud b interested in marying a magogo? Men at 45 and above are lurking for the to ma youngster and us at 35 and below we want you but we can’t marry u. So wait a iWeb.mostly such women thought they were stars at young age now reality is docking baby.but there a lot single bazimayi Ma rav4′just join the league
SAASA
February 28, 2013 at 9:00 pm
Kulibe Perfecto! Ndise chabe vipuba. You sound ****** and pompous my sister. You are even proud to say that “they were not my type” and yet you want to get married! Even ugly men can impregnant you. Get out!