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Man Divorced For Taking ARVs Secretly
By NOMSA NKANA
WHEN most married couples are still enjoying a ‘honeymoon’ during their first year of marriage, others choose to divorce as early as six months.
This is what happened to a Lusaka couple when a house wife sued her husband for divorce after six months of marriage because she stumbled on his closely guarded secret. he was taking Anti Retro-viral (ARVs) drugs.
Faustina Tembo 35, of Lusaka told the Kanyama local court that she was shocked to discover ARVs in her bedroom.
This was heard before Justices Esther Sifuwe, Gastone Kalala, and Ng’andu Mukuka in a case where Tembo dragged her husband Patrick Filuwe 55 to court for divorce.
Senior Presiding Magistrate Esther Sifuwe granted divorce and ordered Filuwe to pay KR2 500 as compensation.
Tembo told the court that when the two got married in November 2012, all was well until she discovered ARVs in their bedroom while sweeping.
She said when she asked Filuwe about them, he said they were his and arrogantly told her to join him also in taking the drugs.
“Your honour, he never told me he was on ARV’s and that upset me,” she said.
After that she said, problems began between the two and that Filuwe eventually moved out of their bedroom.
Tembo said she could no longer bear taunting from Filuwe who she accused of not wanting her male relatives to visit their home alleging that they are her boyfriends.
She told the gallery that Filuwe does not even want them to shave each other’s pubic hairs saying he does not want to see her nakedness.
Tembo said to crown it all, Filuwe has also infected her with HIV adding that it is the reason she decided to divorce him but he chased her from home as soon as she served him with a summon.
In his statement, Filuwe consented to divorce stating that Tembo lied to him that she broke up with her previous partner when in fact not.
“The reason I’m saying this is because she has a child with the same man and he’s keeping her but each time I ask my wife to bring her into our home she gives me excuses. I believe she’s using the child to continue maintaining her ties with the same man,” he said.
Filuwe accused Tembo of hardly being at home to prepare his meals when he goes there during lunch break and also violent, especially when drunk.
Posted by Editor
on May 6, 2013. Filed under LATEST NEWS.
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DEE
May 6, 2013 at 9:28 am
Young lady y shud u divorce him its too late u ar already sick.
mweene
May 6, 2013 at 4:05 pm
Reconcile mama, no man will look at you in that status you just acquired. beg him to come back into your life.
iye
May 6, 2013 at 9:46 am
destiniy bane,its rough
hotchick
May 6, 2013 at 9:51 am
for better for worse
NASILELE MUTALE YAAULU
May 6, 2013 at 10:14 am
WHY TAKE ARVs SECRETELY? WHY HIDE? YOU CANT TELL YOUR PARTNER? YOUR MARRIAGE WAS FOR BETTER FOR WORSE!!! GOD DETESTS DIVORCE. THE STABILITY OF INDIVIDUALS, FAMILIES AND SOCIETY IN GENERAL LIES IN STABLE FAMILIES AND MARRIAGES.
YOUNG PEOPLE, WHO ARE PREPARING TO TAKE OVER RESPONSIBILITIES HERE ON EARTH, SHOULD LEARN A LESSON HERE.
THIS CASE COULD HAVE RESULTED FROM PREMARITAL SEX WHICH IS NOT GOOD. GOD WANTS YOU YOUNG ONES TO HAVE RELATIONSHIP WITH A GIRL OR BOY WITHOUT SEX UNTIL THE WEDDING/MARRYING DAY!!
WHEN ONE HAS PREMARITAL SEX, THE DANGER IS THAT YOU CAN CARRY THIS HABIT INTO MARRIED LIFE, BY HAVING SEX OUTSIDE YOUR MARRIAGE.
THE CONSEQUENCES OF PREMARITAL SEX AND SEX OUTSIDE MARRIAGE ARE GRAVE!!! YOU CAN GET HIV AND AIDS, RISK OF CANCER AT A LATER STAGE, BOLA BOLA, AKASWENDE/LICK, CLAMYDIA, AND ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION (YASIYA KUIMA) IN MEN THE LIST GOES ON.
THIS CASE IS A BIG LESSON TO OUR BELOVED YOUNG ONES AS WELL AS THE MARRIED ONES. DISHONESTY DOES NOT PAY!
WE LOVE YOU YOUNG PEOPLE AND URGE YOU TO LEAD DISCIPLINED LIFE STYLES AND GOD WILL BLESS YOU ABUNDANTLY!!!READ JOSHUA 1 – BE STRONG AND COURAGEOUS.
malwa
May 6, 2013 at 1:50 pm
I feel hurt after reading this story because it happened to me. Love blinds us.
Judy
May 6, 2013 at 10:37 am
@NASILELE MUTALE YAAULU
Please stop this thing of saying pipo who have sex b4 marriage are the ones who cheat in marriage, There are some pipo even good Christians who preach in church who have extra marital affairs when they were virgins till they married. So pliz stop leaving a fantancy life and face reality. My boy friend was a virgin till he married a man of God so he says you shud see at church but he has me.
NASILELE MUTALE YAAULU
May 6, 2013 at 11:56 am
MY WRITING IS MEANT ON INSPIRING YOUNG PEOPLE TO AVOID LEADING THE KIND OF LIFE MOST OF US HAVE LED AND WHICH MANY WOMEN REGRET AS THEY CANNOT EXPERIENCE ORGASM DUE TO TERRIBLE EXPERIENCES OF FEELING GUILTY, DIRTY AND USED AFTER THEIR PREMARITAL SEX EXPERIENCE.
IF THIS OFFENDS ANYONE INCLUDING YOU, I RESERVEDLY APOLOGIZE.
BUT MY INSPIRATIONAL NOTES TO OUR LOVED YOUNG PEOPLE IS VERY GOOD FOR STABLE FUTURE FAMILIES AND SOCIETY IN GENERAL.
candy
May 6, 2013 at 1:44 pm
testing before you marry is for your own good least you marry one with erectile dysfunctions.
PV
May 6, 2013 at 10:48 am
Judy please clarify ”My boy friend was a virgin till he married a man of God so he says you shud see at church but he has me.”
Soby
May 6, 2013 at 10:58 am
Instead of draging the man to court for devorce she should have sued for compasation for wilfull infection. The man new his status and had to hide it from his wife then infected her. This should also be a lesson to others to first go for VCT before befor you start enjoying your conjugal rights.
abene bansamba
May 6, 2013 at 11:29 am
will that suggestion restore her immune system?can you make your statement understandable.
tongabull
May 6, 2013 at 2:56 pm
They wherE both HIV + EVEN BEFORE SHE MARRIED HIM.THATS WHY SHE COULD NOT SUE HIM FOR COMPENSATION BRO U CAN READ BETWEEN THE LINES.
katoshi
May 6, 2013 at 11:23 am
Ifyupo bane ,it is not a joke.Unfortunately,there is disease.But who is going to marry the young lady?I am she also got infected.
Lisa
May 6, 2013 at 11:33 am
vikwati vamasiku yano sivintu maningi!!
Sex and drugs
May 6, 2013 at 11:45 am
Sex and drugs
Umupandapwiti
May 6, 2013 at 11:49 am
alyashi lya maso awe kwena!!!
Soby
May 6, 2013 at 12:16 pm
@Abene bansamba what can’t you understand about my statement. Agreed compasation will not retore her immune system but I guess even divorce won’t do. but tell me between the two which one is a better option?
TEMFWE WANGOMA
May 6, 2013 at 3:00 pm
@Soby you are very right,but the problem is they where both HIV+ even before they got married you can read between the lines man
Sparks Chimbwendembwende
May 6, 2013 at 2:16 pm
The mnn did not infect this woman with HIV. She was already infected. Studies conducted so far show that when one is taking full HAART, ie ARVs the risk of transmitting the virus to the other partner is less than 1%. This is the basis of PMTCT today where we are seing women on full HAART are having babies free from HIV infection. In this case the guy could have most unlikely infected this lady. The lady wants to go back to the man who gave her a baby, period!!! The court has misdirected intself in fact and law.
Ka Kolwe
May 6, 2013 at 2:23 pm
True, Good analysis
vibrosomal
May 6, 2013 at 4:09 pm
after initiation of HAART, the likelihood of one infecting their sexual partner in case they have unprotected sex depends on one’s CD4 count which represents how well the immune system is able to contain the HIV. It wouldn’t be correct to say that if they are on HAART then the chances of the person infecting others is less than 1% because we havent been told what this man’s CD4 count is. Mind you, there are issues of the virus developing resistance to HAART e.g if the patient is: 1.not taking the drugs consistently 2.having unprotected sex with fellow infected people. just trying to state that there is no guarantee that the chances of an infected person infecting other may drop to 1% if they are on HAART.
bikini girl
May 6, 2013 at 3:14 pm
“She told the gallery that Filuwe does not even want them to shave each other’s pubic hairs saying he does not want to see her nakedness”
Is what Zambian couples do, Shaving each others “nyash” ??? That’s kinky!!!
ZP
May 6, 2013 at 3:22 pm
Sis u have made a big mistake coz u wil infect others with the same disease..umfwanenifye bane or cal me so that i can come and consel u
pettie
May 6, 2013 at 3:55 pm
Too bad young lady.Please why didn’t you stay cos you are already infected.It’s not a death sentence.People have lived on ARVs and have lived a normal life
Kan
May 6, 2013 at 5:16 pm
Stop sigmatising the man. The fact that she was not taking ARVs herself does not mean that she was not infected. Her claims will be very difficult to prove especially that she was involved in other relationships before she got married to him.
Atripla
May 6, 2013 at 6:44 pm
This issue is contentious really. The question is, with all the information available on how we can avoid contracting thus virus, women are still getting into relationships either 1. Knowing too well they are indected. 2. Not infected but still do not go for VCT before engaging in unprotected sex. Could thus be all in the name of love? Obviously not. The first question a man or woman should ask is “Do you know your HIV status, if so are you ready to share and go for post testing before getting any further with a person.
ADIABATIC
May 6, 2013 at 8:53 pm
I WOULDN’T ENCOURAGE ANYONE TO MARRY OR GET MARRIED. MARRIAGE CAN BE LIKE LIVING IN HELL. BOY/GIRL FRIENDS DO BETTER NOWADAYS THAN MOST MARRIED COUPLES.
IT’S VITAL FOR FAMILIES OR COUPLES TO TEST BEFORE MARRIAGE
CSI KARIBA
May 6, 2013 at 8:55 pm
what if he got HIV from you???and he was waitin for the ryt moment to tell you? maybe that is why you were havin problems all along because it burns him on the inside that you gave him and he cant tell you bcoz u show him that u think he is more promiscuous than you are???
cindy
May 7, 2013 at 4:55 am
We need to stop having unprotected sex before knowing someones status..these are,the consquences..shame…i myself would never engage into sex without condoms..ladies make sure u are alert n watching a man while hes puting on that condom making sure he does it correctly..some men are idiots they easily tear up the,condom..im talking from my experience..another thing, if a man puts on a condom on th wrong side, dnt let him use it ,,trash itvn use a new one..that way,u wont be incontact with the body fluid..preejaculated semen..bcz a virusvis,always,present in th semen..i hope this,helps someone..dnt pretend like u too horny to look..
concerned citizen
May 7, 2013 at 8:46 am
Stop the fornication before marriage,virginity is the only way,it worries me when even ladies here are trying to support the sex before marriage issue and shoot down virgins,well truth is that it seems fun having sex before marriage and you think your partner is trust worthy even when you fornicate but you risk your life,it is a simple choice,get AIDS or not.The truth is that we still have few virgins and those are strong people.I wouldn’t want my sister or daughter being used sexually so why should i do it to someones daughter or sister
nana
May 7, 2013 at 11:56 am
it sad for the woman who is infectedwith deadly virus , it almost happened to me but thank god who saved my life.
akim
May 7, 2013 at 6:39 pm
Interesting! @ vibrosomal u r very wrong… Cd4 count has nothing to do with transfering the virus. -t is the viral load which is very important.. A viral load of undictectable means the chances of transfering hiv virus r less very slim. When one is on arvs and adhering to them the viral load reduces while cd4 count increases. A low viral load means the hiv virus becomes dormant.
And no hiv is no no longer deadly thanks be to God for arv’s its just a bit inconviencing. Nowadays in africa we have received arvs where a patient takes one tablet per day… Who knows Very soon it will be a monthly tablet… Then one per six months… And yes couples can have a healthy sex life and have children normally. But the bottom line is to be faithful to each other…hiv or not God is in control of our lives all he requires is to be obedient and stop fornicating and adultery. It is sin which kills. God is giving scientists ideas and breakthru in medicines for the sake of those who r infected innocently and those who have repented and who have to accomplish his plan for their lives.
Do u know that cancer and diabetes are worse than hiv? If u didn’t know consult doctors. Remedy for hiv is take medication, eat health and very important have a relationship with YAHWEH and obey his commands. So many hiv negative pipo have dead and yet so many hiv positive people live…long life depends on your relationship with God Almighty
Thank you
AK 47
May 8, 2013 at 3:38 pm
is not marriage for better for werse?so now who do u want to infect…ufuna ku gabila ndani iyo virus?what ur man did minus telling u is not fair sis,but wat i can tel u is that manzi yakataika siyayoleka so just pull urself together sis, and u should visity VCT its not the end of the world we deary luv u pipo for if u are not infected u re afected.