Zambia’s celebrity couple reveal wife-beating past
Time Posted: December 1, 2009 10:04 am
One of Zambia’s most famous singers has revealed how she was badly beaten by her husband. She now hopes to lift the lid on the country’s ingrained acceptance of domestic violence.
“My husband will kill me,” giggles Saboi Imboela nervously. “But, yes, he once beat me up so badly I reported him to the police.”
The 32-year old is one of Zambia’s top vocalists. Her husband is a popular actor, Owas Ray Mwape. This is the first time she has spoken publicly about the beating she received at his hands, and she wriggles uncomfortably at the memory.
The majority of women enjoy a beating, because they are made to believe it is part of our tradition
“It was the police who begged me not to take it further,” she recalls, revealing some of the engrained attitudes she is now taking on.
“They told me: ‘We know how you women are. We’ll lock him up and in a minute or two, you’ll change your mind and want him released.’”
Her doctor also dissuaded her from reporting the assault, as did some of her friends.
Campaigners believe more than half of Zambian women have suffered domestic abuse but cases rarely come to light because of the stigma attached to speaking out.
Young women are taught by their elders to accept punishment from their husbands when they are disobedient. Even cooking a bad meal warrants a smack.
Many women fear divorce would leave them in penury.”That’s how you grow up in Africa,” explains Mr Mwape.
“To be a man, you need to discipline a woman, give her a slap or two. You know, in our culture, it’s OK because that’s how we feel we love our women.”
It is a message driven home at boys’ initiation ceremonies – chastisement is a sign of affection and a woman never achieves the status of an adult. Like a child she needs to be “trained” to behave well.
In some parts of the country tradition allows a man to beat his wife if he survives a crocodile attack.
In others, a wife’s infidelity is revealed when her newborn baby coughs. She must take the consequences.
“Tradition is used as a cover for domestic violence,” complains Johnson Tembo.
As chairman of the Men’s Network, he tries to persuade his peers to alter their behaviour.
But he believes women’s attitudes need to change too.
“Some women are foolish enough to think that if they are not beaten by their husbands, they’re not loved,” he says.
ZANIS