- Stay Connected
Socialize
I’m 20 Years Old And Pregnant For A Married Man
Please post this for me on your blog. I need advice from your readers
I am a 20 year old woman living in the UK and also studying here. My parents have been at war since I can remember and I have to rely on my siblings to take care of me, I am reluctant to ask them though as everyone works hard and times are difficult.
I have had my fair share of horrible boyfriends in the past few years, I have dated so many stingy men that would not give me a penny but I am usually not bothered about this as I don’t date men because of their money. I have although since decided to remain single and just have the usual one night stand because I am tired of the constant heartbreak and pain. Until recently.
I recently got introduced to a married man and the initial plan was to have him spend on me, I didn’t want to but as I was about to be kicked out of my flat for lack of payments I did what I had to. I wasn’t going to go any further with him but he turned out to be really nice. I tried to cut contact with him but unfortunately he had fallen head over heels in love with me. If he doesn’t see me or hear from me in an hour he becomes frantic and agitated. He tells all his friends here in the Uk about me, takes me to their houses and introduces me as his girlfriend.
This is a man with a wife and 4 beautiful children whom I happen to know very well through him introducing me to them. He keeps saying he would make me his second wife which of course I don’t believe and always has sex with me unprotected despite my refusal. Also he has not given me any more money since he paid my rent for the owed 2 months, any time I ask him he gives one excuse or the other, even paying for my cab to wherever is too much to ask of him. I desperately want to get out of it but now I think I might be pregnant for him.
I’m so confused about the next step, I’m scared if I tell him I’m pregnant he’ll disappear but I also can’t take care of a child on my own as I have not even graduated from university. I’ve thought about going to tell his wife but I’ll just be labelled a home wrecker and loaded with all the blame. Please what do I do?
Confused Girl
Posted by
Ezemwa
June 23, 2013 at 4:04 pm
Young girl you are a prostitute just tell that fellow to take up responsility.
Manda p.
June 23, 2013 at 4:34 pm
your history says it all. you like sex and money. I wish not to call you prostitute but your sexual life is telling us that. bear the consequences of your choices
DK PLANET
June 23, 2013 at 4:43 pm
The problem is people want monogamy but in practice their is polygamy in 90% of marriages. With you girl face facts and tell the man and let him take responsibility. If he disappears that’s when you will thing about other Solutions of us men we have girl friends so to me its practical and normal.
standwa samy
June 23, 2013 at 4:47 pm
ladies never cease to amaze me.the comfused gal is saying in da past she had gone out with stingy guys,who didnt even gave penn.secondly she got hooked up to a
. married man becouse dat man agreed to pay her outstanding rentals.the issues follow broggers is mula.this desparet gal is gold digger.continue dancing to da tunes….
mat
June 23, 2013 at 4:57 pm
Just put everything in God’s hands.
mike
June 24, 2013 at 3:34 pm
Can you give sensible practicle solutions. You say leave everything in Gods hands yes but what is she going to do now.
mwipushe
June 23, 2013 at 6:02 pm
20yrs and yu have had several relations? It tells the all story…walibutemwa mwaice, when yu come back to Zambia come and give me also
ILLITERATE
June 23, 2013 at 6:58 pm
And you really think your solution can come from bloggers huh? 2nd mistake. The 1st mistake was sleeping around wit men. Wheres yo diginity gal? Wit dat rare opportunity studying in UK then u fooling around? These are the consequences.
dnice
June 23, 2013 at 8:13 pm
you are such an :::idio:t and you do deserve the punishment you are about to encounter. It hasnt even started yet for your own information. you must be ashamed of yourself and should not even have brought yourself here.
Bebeni Bonfwe
June 23, 2013 at 9:23 pm
One word….’stoopidity’
emmanuel
June 23, 2013 at 10:28 pm
For all have sinned and fallen short of glory of God.1stly accept o thts happend,forgive urslf n ask God 2forgive u. Trust in God in all ur ways,nly His love is genuine.
Manda p.
June 23, 2013 at 10:56 pm
It is not about being sinners but the intent of this lady’s action. How does she justify that all the men she slept and continues to sleep with is because of being a sinner? I wonder! This is her lifestyle adopted instead of studies she went for. Siniful acts cannot be justified by her wish to secure accommodation. If she had no money how did she choose to study in a foreign country? There are more questions about than what she says
tease
June 23, 2013 at 11:38 pm
Having had the wrong kind of education, the Negro has become his own greatest enemy. Most of the trouble I’ve had in advancing the cause of the race, has come from Negros —–MARCUS GARVEY
MK
June 24, 2013 at 2:03 am
Abortion is legal in the UK and it is free, every student from secondary school to university know this fact!
Learn to live within the means of your student allowance and focus on your education.Some details in the story are not clear especially when she talks about polygamy,how can she became his second wife when polygamy is illegal in the UK? This story sounds like a Zambian situation not in the UK, too many contradictory statements, why whore yourself when you have brothers and sisters sponsoring you? No means no, forced unprotected sex is a crime here in the UK, she is attending university education she should know.
Handsome Prince
June 24, 2013 at 4:35 am
face it that’s what you wanted when you opened your dame legs for the mother ****** i can **** you a lot come to Zambia iwe nomba ndeya.
Tunda
June 24, 2013 at 6:27 am
Its not a true story. Lies and deception in it.Post better relationship issues from kombons like John howard, misisi,matero,chunga,george coumpound etc.. which are intresting to read.
lol
June 24, 2013 at 8:03 am
yes abortion is legal in uk if i were you i would do that and then cut this man in my life and concentrate on my education.
lol
June 24, 2013 at 8:03 am
yes abortion is legal in uk if i were you i would do that and then cut this man in my life and concentrate on my education.
chiefdestructer
June 24, 2013 at 8:28 am
your story lacks truth.
Manda p
June 24, 2013 at 8:38 am
Bad advice to talk about aborting. Did the innocent infant ask her to engage in sexual acts so that it is conceived? How moral is the advice that she should abort?
Anthony chisanga
June 24, 2013 at 9:48 am
My child your not doing the right thing you knew this mans status that he is married but for you to go tell his wife about your pregnancy why tell him tell that man why his wife but to tell the truth aim very disappointed with you .
casim
June 24, 2013 at 9:57 am
JUST COME BACK…….. STOP WASTING YOUR TIME AND RESOURCES, YOU WILL BE DEPORTED IF THE WIFE DISCOVERS.
Frans
June 24, 2013 at 10:51 am
The wages of sin is death.You have been a prostitute and do not expect kind words from the people.To start with how do you expect the other woman to feel once he hears this story.The same pain your fellow woman will go through you should expect to go through it as well period
CallBoy Lusaka
June 24, 2013 at 11:05 am
So what? Do not waste our time. These are not issues. Such things happen.
hezron
June 24, 2013 at 11:31 am
Too good coz every action has got results,so tell the man coz you never know may be he might take the respobility.
mistake ids
June 24, 2013 at 12:01 pm
SHAME FOR NOT BE RESPONSIBLE, TOO PROUD FOR NOTING, SAY THE TRUTH YOU WILL BE HELPED. YOU THOUGHT BEING IN UK IS DOING PROSTITUTION. STOP STOP SPREADING THE SO CALLED HIV AID TO MARRIED MEN IN UK LEAVE THEM TO KEEP THEIR FAMILIES.
Interpol
June 24, 2013 at 12:13 pm
Face reality gal, you are a prostitute going out with many different men and now a married man!!!! You just a rug, not marriage material.
mathew
June 24, 2013 at 12:19 pm
iMWE THIS IS A JOKE, ZAMBIANS TAKE THINGS SERIOUSLY FOR NOTHING, NOT REAL ANYWAY I KNOW BETTER.
child protector
June 24, 2013 at 12:35 pm
Young girl(my daughter)its unfortunate that you got into such a trap yourself through your own irresponsible behavior.Secondly,you didn’t go to UK to make a fool of your self but to study and to realize your dreams of graduating from college/university and thereby getting yourself a decent job either abroad or back here in Zambia.But instead you decide to start this promiscuous behavior of dating and going out with countless men,shame.
Lastly let me say that its up to you to take full responsibility of yourself.You are still very young and with a very bright future ahead of you but it is all in your hands.
I wonder if you even know who you truly are in this world.
I also wonder if you truly understand the world around you.
Your self esteem is eroded drastically and until you put a halt to your extravagant and promiscuous lifestyle,you shall continue to drain faster in this world.
Make a decision for yourself before its too late to do so.
You are the one with answers to all your life challenges.Pick up all the broken pieces and start moving from there.
My task as a parent and professional counselor is to help you make decisions for yourself as well as take full responsibility for your emotional reactions.
May GOD richly bless you as you find your way out of your own trap
kandolo
June 24, 2013 at 12:59 pm
This is the problem with most young women. They want to get the best of both worlds inspite of the best advice not to. They fail to concentrate on one thing but get carried away the present cares and temptations around them. I hope with this experience this young woman will have good advice for other young women.
Abanakahsi benebene
June 24, 2013 at 1:35 pm
what were you thinking in the first place, sleeping with someone’s husband, it’s either baby out of wordlock or diesease out of wordlock. period
badass
June 24, 2013 at 1:57 pm
try R4M
chanda chimbwi III
June 24, 2013 at 2:28 pm
Walibutemwa.
listener
June 24, 2013 at 3:55 pm
You are relying on your siblings…are all of you in U.K or what. Your case is quiet unclear. Where are your parents…Are u resident in U.K or u are just their for studies? If not How did you find yourself there my sister. Are you a victim of human trafficking…….
God made man, man made money, money made man mad!
June 24, 2013 at 4:36 pm
Forget that married time waster and get rid of the damn pregnancy! How do you expect to look after a bástard child when you can not even take care of yourself?
Hopefully you will learn from your mistake and make better choices in future.
Billionaire
June 24, 2013 at 5:56 pm
yaba,,how could you get screwed live by a married man
Kasama Boy
June 24, 2013 at 6:34 pm
You are the people spreading HIV/AIDS to innocent house wives. Ati after sleeping around with stingy men you then went to a hapless married man. Umukashi wakwe nga wamano atekelepofye kettle pali ka hot plate alekulolelafye. Wena aketile fye mukalindi kambalala ukachenjele.
stick
June 24, 2013 at 6:38 pm
When this person was considering her options of funding did she consult with this forum? Now that she finds herself in a fix all of a sudden she comes to the public forum. How could she think that she would be a “Friend without Benefits?” For such you go to an NGO not a married man.
Billionaire
June 24, 2013 at 6:57 pm
Those lunatics talking abt abortion are **** up.how can you kill your own blood..am a responsible guy and i can accept a if i knw its me..and face the consquences,,wat more it will just a phase and it will pass..via love my future children
Snr moderator
June 24, 2013 at 7:43 pm
the history you’ve given us is that of a 30 year old lady but u ar just 20! u jumped some stages i guess.
israel
June 24, 2013 at 7:56 pm
Sorry my sister for the suffering. you are not wrong in enjoying life but someone else is. you know who.
port
June 24, 2013 at 11:06 pm
English: a woman is not pregnant “for” a man. A woman is pregnant or not. A man can be held “responsible for.”
Learn you dumb bells from Kabwata
why not if not
June 25, 2013 at 3:36 am
If the story is true then you`ll never get the solution mwana. pa blog epo mwaleta chi problem hmm! even me I`ve no solution pantu. Leave with your problem mwandi ukose.