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Marriages And Kitchen Parties In Zambia
Dear Editor,
Allow me some space to air my views concerning the ever increasing and mushrooming levels of marital problems including divorce in our country. The rate of divorce seems to be on the increase in our generation at an alarming rate. Divorce has become part of our culture, values and norms. Divorce like death was not so common in the olden days. When it happened communities were shaken. Many questions were asked.
Why? What? How? Is it true? Who? Where? All these were questions that showed how startled people took the news. It clearly indicated that it was not a usual thing. Our parents and dear grandparents surely had their own huddles in their marriages, but the institution of marriage was respected. Indeed we cannot dispute that divorce existed then, but not as it appears and comes today.
The colors and its shape have taken worrying twist. Events that lead to divorce sometimes do not even warrant such actions. It is like somebody who has a temporal problem and decides to take his or life. Truly solutions should be sought in totality before one takes such a drastic solution. Divorce can be likened to suicide in many ways. Though trying to compare these two is like pouring a hot cup of water in the river and expect the waters to get hot.
Just like in business, people should expect changes in the market, expect competition, expect economic changes and above all realize that the world can be affected by weather, and other natural disasters. But a good manager will be seen as these changes unfold. Solutions that address the changes would be sought. Solutions that mitigate the effects would be explored.
Focusing on the future and well being of the business would be motivation factor not the present or prevailing adverse effects. Intuitive, innovativeness, rational thinking and simulation are avenues that focused managers would explore in seeking answers to different situations. What makes a difference in business is how managers behave when situations change and how they react to the unforeseen or unplanned situations. Being practical, reactive and proactive determines how firm one remains.
Back to my title “Marriages and Kitchen Parties in Zambia”, the above discussion offers insights on how certain issues could be addressed in marriage set up, just like in business. But what is the relationship between marriage and kitchen parties? What is introduced in a marriage? What are the cost implications and economic values that come with a kitchen part into a marriage?
What values, culture, norms are introduced to newlywed couples? Do the items got during a kitchen part add value to the union or not? Who owns what is amassed from the kitchen part? Should it still remain to be called a kitchen party or a chicken party or may be another name should be sought? What is the main importance of a kitchen part? Do people give genuinely at kitchen parties? In my articles to come, many more and such questions would be discussed.
Merits and demerits would be objectively looked at, analyzed and other issues propounded. Being the first article in the series, I will ask a simple question. Which spoon is better to use, the one given at a kitchen party or the one both partners decide to buy willingly as a couple? Let me get your comments as we embark on this journey to seek solutions to humanity problems and instability in our homes and seek solutions for many generations to come.
MKS
Posted by
manmta
January 15, 2014 at 9:48 am
You have not addressed the substance of your topic.So long as people marry so will there be divorces.The population in Zambia has increased and so have incidences of death,birth,marriage even divorce.It’s expected that with improvements in communication,we are hearing of these social issues more and more!
Wanu Ngwee
January 15, 2014 at 9:55 am
REASONS FOR HIGH FEQUENCY OF DIVORCES IN ZAMBIA:
I live in SA and regularly visit mother Zed. Am constantly told about how high the cost of living has become in Zambia, but I always wonder why there are so many expensive weddings happening frequently in a struggling economy. So, obviously the first reason is OVER-INDEBTEDNESS. Most people over-commit themselves financially just to outdo others at the cost of their wedding, and thereafter they can neither service the debts nor live up to the standard they displayed on their wedding day. The second is that most guys meet their would-be wives in bars and night clubs and expect them to stop these habits once they are married, but as we all know, OLD HABITS DIE HARD .. MANINGI UNCHILISHA ABAKASHANA BA THESE DAYS!!!!
D.S-7
January 15, 2014 at 12:56 pm
TRUE DAT!!!
angel
January 17, 2014 at 8:41 am
true!!!
Wanu Ngwee
January 15, 2014 at 9:57 am
SORRY, I meant “.. UKUCHILISHA…”
chinena .....
January 15, 2014 at 9:59 am
to me marriage is the main cause of divorce……
kabova
January 15, 2014 at 11:05 am
a lot of weddings but no marriages
chimbwi
January 15, 2014 at 12:02 pm
Tupa ama hule full stop.
Mary
January 15, 2014 at 12:09 pm
Just because you married a prostitute does not mean everyone else has. Mind your language.
angel
January 17, 2014 at 8:43 am
but why get upset?????
Oracle
January 17, 2014 at 2:42 pm
But why are you also concerned???
icinshikululwa
January 15, 2014 at 1:18 pm
Thanx @marry, Thanx and many more to the writer of the New artcle; bring more our dear MKS.God bless!
ck
January 15, 2014 at 2:48 pm
This is how universe is
ck
January 15, 2014 at 2:54 pm
Normal from the time in memorial
yongwe
January 15, 2014 at 4:03 pm
one ngwee you are right
Fawezaa
January 15, 2014 at 4:27 pm
They now drink like their fathers n compete with their husbands . Ubwela midnight naine ni midnight mudala . Iliko lelo . Wachoka kuti? naiwe wachoka kuti? “Welcome to the New World” .
chile1
January 15, 2014 at 5:31 pm
I haven’t goten the sense in what u’ve written man
Abu
January 15, 2014 at 6:31 pm
Many marriages fail becoz partnerz tend to run to thez so called bana chimbusa for advice tak a survey and u’ll find out dat alot of them are divorces now how can som1 whos divorced giv advice to a person whos married, marriage is life long institution what worked for u in your marriage can not be a solution in my marriage. As people who are married they need to figure out how best they can clear out there differences not always rushing 2 people 4 advice mind u what worked for them may never be a solution to ur marriage
DIP STICK
January 15, 2014 at 9:20 pm
DIVORCE IS BETTER THAN LIVING IN A HORROR OF A MARRIAGE.
LOVE FOR SELF AND MONEY IS NOW HERE.
BEST THING IS ADVISE THOSE WHO WISH TO MARRY CORRECTLY. THE PICTURE OUT THERE IS MARRIAGE IS ALL ROSES.
ESPECIALLY MOST LADIES THINK ONCE MARRIED ALL PROBLEMS ARE SOUGHTED OUT. PRINCE CHARMING WILL SOUGHT IT ALL.
Be Good
January 15, 2014 at 9:45 pm
The lavishness of weddings is so foolish. Anione syndrome is so strong in ZED
eric chief nkole
January 15, 2014 at 10:55 pm
this shit they call bana chimbusa they teaching people who are getting married but they are destroying them and teaching them how to use charms.
duke
January 16, 2014 at 12:25 am
marriage has to a greater extent lost its true meaning.people are getting in marriage with the hope of either getting divorced one day or enduring to death. since people are having sex anyhow & anywhere, the true value of marriage is sadly diminishing hence the rampant increase in marry & divorce.we are really missing it & may God deliver us
tutu
January 16, 2014 at 10:40 am
ifi ulembele fyaupuba chikala waumfwa? marriage kula tombanafye non stop ubwaila no bwacha nokusakanyamo tu pono once in a while…abakashana before marriage shud consult iris kaingu on hw to treat ubukala,ukubusuka bwino nakanwa elo ukubutimbapo…
kaiko wamunyima
January 16, 2014 at 4:07 pm
Mary writes like a prostitute seriously what do you expect from a woman from the bar ,yes there do change may be 40% of there behavior,60% remains unchanged.
Reveal
January 17, 2014 at 11:15 am
Marital problems are normal and healthy.Part company if she becomes stale
Be Good
January 22, 2014 at 10:38 pm
or he becomes poor, fat and bald
admin
January 17, 2014 at 12:16 pm
THE TOPIC IS EDUCATIVE, HOWEVER YOU NEED TO SEGMENT YOUR DISCUSSION AS FOLLOWS:
1.DIVORCE AMONGST MARRIAGE IN RURAL AREAS
2.DIVORCE AMONGST MARRIAGE IN URBAN ARES
3.DIVORCE AMONGST MARRIAGE IN BELIEVERS
4.DIVORCE AMONGST MARRIAGE WHICH HAVE PASSED THROUGH COUNSELING
5.DIVORCE AMONGST MARRIAGE WHICH HAVE NOT GONE THROUGH COUNSELING
THE ANALYSES THE CAUSE OF EACH DIVORCE
Oracle
January 17, 2014 at 2:50 pm
MKS – well spoken.
Answers still being awaited on the question below especially from couples? As for me kitchen parties depend on any person desire but the spoon bought by both partners mat be better than the one given.
Which spoon is better to use, the one given at a kitchen party or the one both partners decide to buy willingly as a couple?
Oracle
Jahman.
January 18, 2014 at 10:14 am
zoona.
nadine
January 19, 2014 at 1:41 pm
Weddings this days has become business and show off, lets look to god for those marriages to last
Oracle
January 20, 2014 at 10:57 am
Nadine – well spoken.
lady
January 20, 2014 at 4:32 pm
The Socio-Economic status of men and women has changed and these ketchen parties, amafunde were designed for a time gone by. The things taught at some of these things are not addressing 21st century problems that couples find in marriage.
Akale all you had to do was **** him and feed him and those are the things amafunde address – very limited scope. Syllabus needs to change.
Be Good
January 22, 2014 at 10:40 pm
and silly movements of the waist which you cant translate in reality.
mogymemo
January 22, 2014 at 12:31 pm
I am really not getting wat the topic is all about the HEADING is something else the CONTENT it’s all different story
jokoko
January 22, 2014 at 2:21 pm
No answer till the end of time, its part of evolution> every thing is changing hence the change in the lifespan of marriages, how do we promote gender, women empowerment and girl child education then expect their royalty to remain the same. Its all our fault. NONE OF US would want to go back to colonial ways of doing things.All these are consequences of education and modernity.
Bind
January 22, 2014 at 3:13 pm
where is mine? or is it congestion?
Bind
January 22, 2014 at 3:18 pm
Until we go back to God marriage will remain as it is or get worse.
Kitchen parties are what they are due to pride and showing off.
Divorces mainly due to lack of forgiveness and inconsideration of children and partners. Also short time of learning who the new person coming in your life is. U marry upon meeting and expect a long lasting bond!!! Gambling is another reason – doing trial and error and basing decisions totally on outward appearance or money position etc.