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He’s Cheating & I Want Him To Know That I Know, But My Mom Says I Should Quietly Leave Him
Dear Readers,
I’m in a relationship with my boyfriend going on 9 years. I really do love him, but I don’t trust him anymore. The last 4 years of our relationship has been the worst because I’ve caught him cheating with 3 different women.
The first woman he cheated with was a woman he met at a bar. He never had sex with her, but he kissed her, took her out places, gave her money and bought things for her son. I consider that cheating because to me, he had an emotional attachment to her. I’m a very jealous person, and I don’t know why he treats loose women better than he treats his family. He tells me he doesn’t like kissing. He doesn’t take me anywhere because he lies about not having any money and I feel like I have to pull teeth to get him to buy anything or spend time with his daughter.
The second women I don’t know anything about. I just know he had sex with her for almost a year. When I confronted him about her, he denied everything and called me delusional and paranoid. Even when I showed him the e-mails they were sending each other, which were about sex, he still denied it and tried to flip it on me. He said I was cheating on him, that’s what was making me think he was doing the same thing.
The third girl he met last year at a party. I know he’s been sleeping with her because he completely stopped sleeping with me. Literally! He doesn’t sleep in the bed anymore at all. I read his text messages and he thinks I don’t understand when he speaks his language. He talks about her to his friends.
I haven’t said anything to him about her because I honestly want to leave him. I have nowhere else to go. My mom told me I could not come back and stay with her because I have 2 kids and it’s no space. I do understand that. I don’t have a job anymore because I quit, listening to him. He told me he didn’t want me to work because he wanted me to stay home and take care of the kids.
My Mom and his sister told me to just keep quiet and pretend I know nothing until I find a job and have the means to support myself. I just don’t know if that’s the right thing to do. I want him to know that I know. And I hate him for it. I’m just tired and I don’t know if I should stay quiet. Can u please help me,I need advize..
From Inbox-Unedited
Posted by 
Denkete
August 4, 2014 at 12:06 pm
Nangu ubucende bwa mwaume taboona ing’anda, apa peena walafwa na AIDS.
ba luanshya
August 4, 2014 at 12:20 pm
9years in a relationshp l thnk is toomuch, but i thnk u should try plan B
gift
August 5, 2014 at 1:05 pm
fyebeko ifipubefi. 9 years boy friend? why?
Ndeloleshafye
August 4, 2014 at 12:30 pm
:o:oBwafya ubu bwena so u want die with :(HIV. THANK GOD THAT he has has stop sleepin with u:/
Booz Bay
August 4, 2014 at 12:49 pm
Womens Mistake # 1, stopin work: neva stay home to raise kids,wen the guy dumps u then hw do u survive? Mistake #2. 9yrs u stil havent realised it wait workin,problem ur too dependant on the fool. U can do beta.advis is find a job,leav the kangaroo & mov on..
Manhimself
August 4, 2014 at 1:05 pm
You were supposed to get married in the first 3 years,sis that isn’t your man get yourself together and move on,let the man be with his Casanovas
dm
August 4, 2014 at 1:17 pm
For lack of a better term I wud describe u as being sick in the mind. U can’t stay with someone who has been cheating on u openly in this day and age of Aids.
kasantana
August 4, 2014 at 1:26 pm
But how do you stay with a man for so many years,get kids from him,but he hsa not even talked of marrying you? your mothe knows …something is wrong with you.
Dr Lufono
August 4, 2014 at 1:28 pm
go away and find a life. u r being used
joe
August 4, 2014 at 2:13 pm
He is lying ,but also stop reading his emails n sms
mazabuka
August 4, 2014 at 2:53 pm
Its so painful to read ur story,just find a job or something else to do.he has ored shown u his colours and that he will never change and will owez give u a plastic sorry.u only know three,what of the others u dot know,its not to late to gather urself together mama,life is too short to give it a second chance.,after all he is not ur husband but cohabiting and only the two innocent kids suffer for ur mistake.if he really loves u, he will surely come back to ask for fogiveness and marry u legally.let God help and give u the strength u need.
Pitikoti gvt
August 4, 2014 at 3:26 pm
Going out with a man for 9yrs as a girlfriend ? Are you really normal ? When are you going to get married ? You are just stupid ! [ sorry to say that ]
Am puzzled ….
kamooto
August 4, 2014 at 4:17 pm
fyabupa ifyo cita no mwaume uyu. nico mucende munobe eco acitila ifi. pantu naiwe bucende mucita nankwe is not your husband.
No Name
August 4, 2014 at 4:18 pm
You and I know that he is cheating on you big time. Go find someone who will love and make you happy.
kamooto
August 4, 2014 at 4:19 pm
fyabupa ifyo cita no mwaume uyu. nico mucende munobe eco acitila ifi. pantu naiwe bucende mucita nankwe is not your husband. mulabeko fye pantu ngateifyo uleefwa.
Data
August 4, 2014 at 4:31 pm
You may have not said it all-I mean your wrongs as well but the other point you should consider is that despite the circumstances this man loves you as well otherwise he could have left him years ago. Try discussing it when you’re both sobre and calm, and also try counselling from professionals, it might help. Relationship? Twamwaupana palaya ponse?
ZAD
August 4, 2014 at 5:14 pm
Bible says sex before marriege is a sin. so for breaking the law of the Bible thats why when u are in a relationship, the more u stay in your relationship and the more chances of hating each other becomes.
Out of world bt on earth
August 4, 2014 at 5:31 pm
Y did your parents allow u live with a man wen u were nt wedded.if ur fatty enough ican marry u,i bt i ve two children if u can take care of dem.
muchona
August 4, 2014 at 7:05 pm
Its very unfortunate that after so many years you can be treated like that. My advise is that gather yourself up, leave him and apologise to your mum as you will be looking for a job or something else to do.
AK
August 4, 2014 at 8:32 pm
its awfuly surprisin to det sam1 fo 9 gud yrs bt no marriage,so u a just makin babies or wat?anyway losing job yo fo that dope woz yo 1st mistake.luk fo a beta life than to live in distres
OPeness
August 5, 2014 at 5:33 am
follow your mother’s advice there is wisdom patience my sister mum is right
Frederick Torben
August 5, 2014 at 6:24 am
Escape from bangkok.freedom
baa bee
August 5, 2014 at 8:00 am
Next story!
IF NOT
August 5, 2014 at 9:30 am
You can still look for another job while staying with your mother no matter how small the house can be than remaining in that miserable house till further notice.
i guess you have learnt a lesson you will never quit a job for the sake of a hubby, dependency syndrome is bad, move on and start a new life. marriage is not everything.
Chief of Grief
August 5, 2014 at 9:44 am
Dependancy syndrome is what u’re sufferin from,thats my analysis ine!!Just stay & make sure u use protection when phucking waunfwa teh.Ifilipofye apa naiwe kuamba uku tombesh kuli the likes of me!Pantu depession yalakwipaya nga’ tauchenjelelobe mwandiJust ditch me yo details & i can sponser u nama gifts bati abana wakwata lyashi lyobe!!Nomba naiwe 9yrs mwitomba fye naiwe?
Oracle
August 5, 2014 at 9:49 am
Have a piece of mind and look for another job or find some business to do. Always seek Gods guidance and one day you will find better love. The right man is there waiting for you. Its just a matter of time believe me or not. I have seen someone with similar problems like yours and have better marriage. Do not flirt out with men but be focused until better love comes your way. God bless and wish you very best for future endeavours.
Oracle
ETTA
August 5, 2014 at 10:36 am
9YEARS IS WAYYYY TOO MUCH MAMA…THATS A GREEN LIGHT ATI HE WILL NOT MARRY YOU. GET YOURSELF A JOB AND GET A MOVE ON! NOLO NI LOVE YOU LL END UP CONTRACTING DISEASES.CHEATING SHOULD NOT BE ENTERTAINED IN RELATIONSHIPS.
Tonga Bulltonglish
August 5, 2014 at 11:27 am
Move on with your life he will regret big time.
JABES CHEMBO
August 5, 2014 at 12:44 pm
MOVE ON ITS NEVER TOO LATE
uluse
August 5, 2014 at 1:15 pm
My advise to you dear is to stop touching his phone…
mwansa
August 5, 2014 at 1:20 pm
sad but wake up girl.
When I read the scriptures below, I realized that at some point some men just take advantage of women and you need to be able to identify these and not waste time on them.
2 Tim 3:6
But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: 2 For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, 3 unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, 4 traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away! 6 For of this sort are those who creep into households and make captives of gullible women loaded down with sins, led away by various lusts, 7 always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth. 8 Now as Jannes and Jambres resisted Moses, so do these also resist the truth: men of corrupt minds, disapproved concerning the faith; 9 but they will progress no further, for their folly will be manifest to all, as theirs also was.
gverbal
August 5, 2014 at 1:26 pm
your mother will get you killed, move in with her with your two kids so that your bustard boyfriend can realize he has messed up, if he wants you back he’ll come and get you and when he does please dscus marriage!!! u are being abused
lukundu
August 5, 2014 at 1:30 pm
End-time carefull
Trixy
August 5, 2014 at 1:50 pm
Awe sure, what kind of tolerance is this? Living with a man for 9 years no marriage and on top of that cheating on you…He has seen that you are desperate that is why he has taken advantage of you. Find yourself another job and find yourself accommodation and keep your kids. If you love something set it free. If it comes back then it is yours. If it doesn’t then it was never meant to be.
Papa Bee
August 5, 2014 at 3:09 pm
Is it a relationship or Marriage in that 9 yrs? The thing z that u guys ve bn staying together is in itself marriage, u are married by the virtue of staying and living together, fathering kids with u.Sue him and i have re-fro cases of the some kind, he will be asked to buy u a house, a car, skool fees and maintenance for a # of years.
kim
August 5, 2014 at 4:25 pm
Just shipikisha. You are used and 9yrs means nolonger fresh. Cant be brand new second hand neither