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Dear Readers: Should I Marry her?
I’ve been dating this lady for 3 years and was preparing to ask her to be my wife. She is 28, educated, lives alone and has a decent job. However, she doesn’t clean and hardly cooks.
Last Saturday I went to visit her expecting to spend the night, on the way I got some food which I ate at hers. Shortly after my arrival she cooked, ate and fell asleep in the living room. While she was sleeping I cleared the plates, took them to the kitchen and put the rest of the food on the cooker in the fridge.
About an hour later when she woke up she walked into the kitchen to see I had not washed the plates. Irritated and annoyed she started complaining “You couldn’t even wash the plates, ordinary plate you couldn’t wash”.
Then went into her room and locked the door as I ignored her. So I let myself out and went home. The next evening with little to no communication throughout the day she sent me this message above.
“Eating p***y, washing dishes…Anything else on your ‘don’t do list?’”
As a result of this together with instances in the past where she has failed to guard her tongue and more importantly apologize, I’m starting to think that a lady who comfortably sends such a message 24 hours after such an incident to someone she claims to want to spend the rest of her life with is not wife material, girlfriend material maybe but certainly not wife material.
As she clearly has no respect for me as her future husband nor for her role as the woman of the house – more so in this case where it is her house. It seems to me like this it how it starts.
I don’t think I am overreacting but it will be good to know what the female readers think
Posted by
Fr. William Mulenga
August 15, 2014 at 2:02 pm
You definitely have the conclusion. That woman is not a wife material. She will turn you into a house.
Pa Zed
August 15, 2014 at 6:11 pm
Shani ba Willy?
Sad Jack
August 15, 2014 at 2:11 pm
Stop. I have been there. It will not workout with you two and if she says she will, its a lie. Leave while you have the chance or you will find yourself cheating.
mapz
August 15, 2014 at 2:24 pm
dat is an eye opener bro leav her and move on thoz are basic things u expect a wife to do.
Mukwesu
August 15, 2014 at 2:24 pm
ma chalo
JAMES
August 15, 2014 at 2:26 pm
my good friend,i regret the decision i took by marrying and saying she will change to good in my house.Run for your life when you still able to make a decision.
Tj
August 15, 2014 at 2:30 pm
career women r a problem mwana! Just 4get about her. Shes nt yo class. Find some one who wil trully love nd undastand u whether in sickness, healthy, jobless etc. Thea so many decent women who r down to earth out thea. Get intouch with me i wil find u one. Im a relationships coach.
lumbanji
August 15, 2014 at 2:52 pm
My dot evn try to mke a mistake.traditional is traditional.we are go for wrk and we workers,bt i evn wrk at hme.i ll never and i can’t give a man to wrk for me.thts not love.she is lazy evn from her parents.
Chief of Grief
August 15, 2014 at 2:56 pm
Iwe naiwe boi!!U already know the ansr man!!Just ditch that leazy whore u terming.Chileku lembelanaka txt aka mafi.Kabiye ukaka pononefye leloline elo wikashamo waunfwa teh??Just use shichlongos formula on that ka nun only in yo case clobber & weeve her senselessly & wen ka fenta kuketila amenshi ayatalala pakutila kachita regain consciousnes bwangu elo wabwekeshapo nafuti nafuti.All the best!!!
Dobo Man
August 15, 2014 at 3:02 pm
one sided story. Let her also tell hers. I may say that if ur Jonh Solye Ubwali then do the cleaning. After all what she did was fine because she is the helper. Genesis
Yeye Umwana Ukupilikita
August 15, 2014 at 3:09 pm
You are very lucky to see those red flags very early,if you try to ignore,you will have yourself to blame.She wants to dominate and control you,that bad attitude will never change,as a way to get on with your life,try to do the things that you enjoy most and please Google how to get over a relationship.wishing you all the best as you try to get through this pain
CHIZ~MAN
August 15, 2014 at 3:32 pm
What do you do for your living?simple and straight forward chikala move on!!!hopefully you are not one of those guys so called opportunists@instead yakupa nomba nibena baleupwa…
leave her
August 15, 2014 at 3:37 pm
Leave that hoe she doesn’t derseve u, many ladies her crying for marrieges
nani
August 15, 2014 at 3:38 pm
follow ur heart, otherwise u will be singing ‘if u could see me now, the one who said he will rather go.’
mwenya
August 15, 2014 at 4:19 pm
Shine ur eyes & find a person that wil respect u as a man. Regrets ar nt gud in life
Dorika
August 15, 2014 at 4:23 pm
Fi Tumfweko, why are you not posting my contribution? Remove your ci site from here so that we use serious other sites.
DDA BOX
August 15, 2014 at 4:27 pm
Such women even in bed ni chi log, no dancing
Dude wheres my car
August 15, 2014 at 4:36 pm
Butti why is she being called names? As a married man, helping out is important. I am very guilty of not doing so sometimes, but my wife does not overreact unless of course it is persistent. If you are arguing about washing dishes, regardless who is wrong or right, to the point of having to lock yourself in the bedroom. Then you are not ready for marriage. If dishes can cause such a rift between you and your significant other, how do you expect to deal with major disagreements. She might be the one, but you two have some serious emotional growth to do before you take that big step.
Kape
August 15, 2014 at 4:39 pm
namwelepete isembe lya mukuba that woman will turn you into some thing else and if you are not careful you be washing her underwear,napiss for the baby when you realise it will be too late. please its your life and its your choice if you love her then it will be up to you to decide and any decision you take it be yours period uushunfwa patunono napafingi takonfwe.
OPeness
August 15, 2014 at 5:32 pm
do not marry her you I will regret if you what you said is true there nothing you are hiding. the sign is enough to help you think otherwise if things happens in relationship will be more when you are used to each other
visitor
August 15, 2014 at 5:45 pm
Hey are you still standing there? RUN away from that woman!
umwaume
August 15, 2014 at 6:17 pm
The lady is not marriage material,I was once in such a relationship,she wanted me to be cooking for her,most of the time.i put my foot down and dumped her like a hot potato.am married to a very good woman,who respects me.i have also never taken advantage of her.i help her when necessary.
Denkete
August 15, 2014 at 6:18 pm
Ine girlfriend wandi teti hdandepo taata ninshi nabeepa ubufi. Ni proper defination of a wife material. Elofye ukulowa kweenaa awe sure ni dibili.
figozm
August 15, 2014 at 6:44 pm
bro to be frank with you,she is seing someone else.action speak louder than words.
Charles
August 15, 2014 at 7:05 pm
Stop expecting people to change. If people show you who they are,believe them!
palupanda
August 15, 2014 at 8:00 pm
Jst leave her,or else u ll marry a knife instead o marrying wife.
vm
August 15, 2014 at 8:03 pm
If You Love her, ask God To intervene in Your situation. You can help her make things work. Some situations is To draw someone close To God
JOHN MAZYU
August 15, 2014 at 8:43 pm
Forget about da reflaf.Ukaamba nokuposa CHEMBA•delete her number•she hz got a SUGAR DADY
brian
August 15, 2014 at 9:11 pm
my brotha jst lev ha.ther r alot f cute nd hd wekng girls out ther.afta lo sh is even advancd in years.”ni nkote”.sh has lost ha marriage opotunity
dosage
August 15, 2014 at 9:46 pm
All the signs are there
munyololo
August 15, 2014 at 9:50 pm
my friend had to ask balangizi to teach her for a month b4 marriege try it will work those guys are powerful and your issue is small try
Toka Kari
August 16, 2014 at 2:46 am
First young man you are lying, you are also just like her. You have been going out with her for almost 3 years and this is when you are noticing this. You are equality the same as the lady. If you are saying she does not cook or clean you are comparing her to another lady you privately seeing. i can just advise you by saying ICIKWANKA BACIMWENA KUMAMPALANYA. You have already seen her behaviour and character, should you decide to go ahead be read. You will not be able to change her. If you marry her be read to have an early divorce and that scar of divorce will haunt you the rest of your life
wasu.
August 16, 2014 at 5:28 am
she is not a marriage material.
kakolwe
August 16, 2014 at 6:05 am
3yrs you said? & you only talk of a 18hr incident? She is just showing you the door. Advise: buy her a dishwasher, a maid to sweep & cook. Use the free time to fukc her senseless & close to Monthend, run like Hussein Bolt & never come back! You’ll have had your harvest.
amashinsha
August 16, 2014 at 6:18 am
Cintu wishibe eco uleipusha?
Frederick Torben
August 16, 2014 at 7:18 am
She is a problem .just leave her and find someone.she can’t change that is the way she is
chiz
August 16, 2014 at 7:36 am
If u think you can manage the pressure go ahead.
welody
August 16, 2014 at 8:55 am
my bro,it is good that u have known her behaviour,will you continue with her or not all concerns yo life
sexy
August 16, 2014 at 7:49 pm
Hell no!!! ! Thats no wife material my dear, those are problems. Iam married and hv all th respect ad fear from my husband believe me take ur tym coz u ar goin to welcome problem s with that dirty woman. …
Manhimself
August 16, 2014 at 9:02 pm
People have said,Nabalanda,bakamba,ba ambaula alimwi bapandulula kabotu kabotu,man do what is right for you here, because that woman in as much as she doesn’t show respect to you,even your family will be considered as dogs by her.
Take a lead in running away and Rescue yourself from that lady.
You need a prayer of Action-runaway. Lesa afwa balya abayafwa.
Cool temple
August 16, 2014 at 9:14 pm
Iyeeeeeee! Run run as fast as your legs can take u away from this chipelelo
zeze
August 17, 2014 at 5:20 am
why are you asking an answer?
chiingu
August 17, 2014 at 4:46 pm
Are there no other women in your village or vicinity.Make up your mind now.This woman isn’t normal therefore cannot make a good wife.Take my advice.
Horizon
August 17, 2014 at 6:57 pm
For me running away is not good enough, but flee for your life mwana!
Aunty K
August 18, 2014 at 11:23 am
Mwana Wandi butuka wiikata na kuchani….maybe its also her way of telling you that she isn’t interested….Waikata?
J J
August 18, 2014 at 1:04 pm
Stop pretending, follow your heart. You adore the lady. You can’t do without her. You benefit more from her than she does from you. You are a house husband. The only thing she gets from you is sex. I can’t judge you cos there are a lot of men out there in similar relationships. Just hang on. You are better off with her.
Maiko
August 18, 2014 at 1:39 pm
She feels ‘Man’ because she is provider. Tell her to grow a D.ick! Leave that good for nothing fellow now!
sonyane
August 18, 2014 at 5:14 pm
she goes for work, u also go for work. share responsibilities. whats wrong with u washing plates or cooking? uli farah!
Alangizi
August 18, 2014 at 10:34 pm
Ushunfwa patunono, napafingi teti omfwe….