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It’s a Bonus For a Man To Notice, Marry You – Mama Kankasa
MAMA Chibesa Kankasa says women should count it as a bonus when they find a man to marry them.
Mama Kankasa, a freedom fighter, says that approaching a woman and later proposing to marry her is not an easy task for men.
She urges women to have respect for men if they are to either sustain their marriages or find men to marry them.
“Ayo mashiwi ayakankala kuli ine pantu tachayanguka saana ukumona umwaume aisa mukukupa. Ala kuti watashya na Lesa ati uyumuntu kuti ambona nokuntemwa (Those are very important words to me. It’s a blessing for a man to notice, love and even marry you for who you are),” she says.
Mama Kankasa says she is shocked that some married women do not have respect for their husbands, which she describes as unfortunate and intolerable for some men.
She urges couples to be grateful to God for one another.
Mama Kankasa also observes that lack of transparency, honesty and respect is the major cause of misunderstandings and divorce among some couples.
She urges married women to strive hard and emulate her for the great honour, love and respect she had for her late husband, Timothy Jiranda Kankasa.
Mama Kankasa adds that this, in turn, gave her the honour to be addressed by her husband’s name to date.
“My late husband married me when I was very young. And throughout our marriage, I called him as my father, my mentor and companion but above all, he was my friend,” she says.
“Most people do not even know that my maiden name is Chibesakunda. Have you ever heard of anyone addressing me by my name? They all call me Kankasa, which is my husband’s name and I am humbled for that. My maiden name was replaced the day I got married.”
Mama Kankasa urges young couples to emulate the respect she gave her husband if they are to sustain their marriages.
She further urges couples to be tolerant and careful in the manner they handle marriage disputes.
“Look at me! I am now very old. My husband and I respected each other. God blessed us with children whom he left to my care when he passed on, and even now, one of our children is the one looking after me,” Mama Kankasa says.
“It takes one to be respectful to her husband to earn this kind of respect.”
She further urges transparency and honesty among couples.
Mama Kankasa says she is disappointed that some married people are failing to be transparent and honest in their dealings, adding that such behaviour contributes to misunderstandings among couples and eventually leading to divorce.
“It’s so disappointing to hear that some selfish married individuals hide payslips, money and other important things from their spouses, how then do you expect peace to reign in that matrimonial home?” she wonders.
“Such kind of acts never existed in my home. I was doing some bit of work and my husband was also in employment. We always put together the little money we got as salaries and put up a budget together, and because of the transparency, our marriage lasted for a very long time.”
Mama Kankasa was a firebrand during the UNIP era, serving as chairperson of the Women’s League and as member of the Central Committee, which at the time was the highest policy-making body within the government.
At 75, Mama Kankasa remains actively involved in initiatives such as the increased access to education for girls in rural and urban areas.
Posted by Editor
on October 18, 2014. Filed under LATEST NEWS.
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Greg Kadimba
October 18, 2014 at 3:51 pm
YEAH TELL THEM MOM!
Chibesakunda
October 19, 2014 at 11:26 am
Every day Kuponokwa!!
October 19, 2014 at 11:27 am
Ninshi twalachulia??
Every day Kuponokwa!!
October 19, 2014 at 11:28 am
ninshi twala chulila???
ONETIME RELOADED
October 18, 2014 at 4:16 pm
tell them mummy,thanks
Chibesakunda
October 19, 2014 at 11:23 am
tutu
October 18, 2014 at 4:24 pm
nabalya abakashana abakana ukumyopa ubukala,jst bcoz tabwaba circumcised…
Every day Kuponokwa!!
October 19, 2014 at 11:43 am
Yaba!!
October 19, 2014 at 11:46 am
The women in this video makes more sense than bana Kankasa
Caleb
October 18, 2014 at 4:33 pm
Mama you are wise, how I wish you can talk to my wife and then she sees the great wisdom in you, nowonder you are still alive today, unlike womens of nowadays only interested in money and too much demanding equire rights only. Foolish. May GOD add More and More Years on you Grandmother
Every day Kuponokwa!!
October 19, 2014 at 11:34 am
Judge Joe Bidden
October 18, 2014 at 6:43 pm
Noti aya amahule tutomba all in the name of our girlfriends who drink as much as we men do what do they know about respecting a man Majority of girls now aren’t marriage material and clueless how to take care of ubwamba
PINK PARADISE
October 18, 2014 at 7:22 pm
Failed macho complex!!
Every day Kuponokwa!!
October 19, 2014 at 11:36 am
Ɗơriƙa
October 18, 2014 at 7:14 pm
Bana Kankasa which men? I hope you d o n’t mean those savages that clobber theie wives over Nshima and treat them as house slaves.
Kanti Neva!!!
Many individuals who grow up in violent homes become used to a state of excitement or physical arousal.
In addition, for some men violence becomes an addiction. It gives them a feeling of power so strong that they come to crave the adrenaline rush and sensation of the release. Eventually, these men may provoke disputes to get the “fix and thus violence becomes a way of life.
ARE THESE THE MEN YOU ARE ASKING WOMEN TO APPRECIATE? IF NOT WHICH MEN ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? BECAUSE AS FAR AS I KNOW MOST ZAMBIAN MEN ARE WIFE BEATERS!!
真美, 麻美
October 18, 2014 at 7:30 pm
It’a a bigger bonus if it’s a rich foreign man not some lousy smelly komboni dweller who drives a second hand scrap ati appreciate, Atase!! Nibanga mwaufyapo kuli pakaponya bana Kankasa?
kamvundula
October 19, 2014 at 2:13 am
I like it mama.
MWISHO
October 19, 2014 at 3:15 am
For sure its a blessing, I feel pity and pray for my Sr. In-Law, at Fourty Two no Husband yet, a pretty and a well dedicated child of GOD.
Every day Kuponokwa!!
October 19, 2014 at 11:38 am
Frederick Torben
October 19, 2014 at 6:05 am
Good advice mama kankasa.god bless you
Smigo
October 19, 2014 at 6:55 am
Te uyu twaleumfwa ati she used to strip? I would think that’s one count of luck of self – respect, no matter the justification. What respect can someone who can’t even respect self, give to others? While the advice she has given may be sound, to claim that her household was a centre of peace may be a little misleading.
Yaba!!
October 19, 2014 at 5:47 pm
……….just imagine ai!?
Chibesakunda
October 19, 2014 at 11:18 am
Ɗơriƙa
October 19, 2014 at 11:21 am
How can anyone appreciate this kind of marriage?
figozm
October 19, 2014 at 12:11 pm
great advice from the old generation that can be of use to the current generation of couples mama kankasa.
Yaba!!
October 19, 2014 at 5:46 pm
rubbish!!
Amano ukubula
October 19, 2014 at 5:53 pm
Talk to your own daughters first. Mu tubepe?
Amano ubwingi
October 19, 2014 at 5:55 pm
Talk to your own daughters first. Mu tubepe?
Cholwe
October 19, 2014 at 7:16 pm
Thank you grandma for the good words you have shared. May the Good Lord protect you as we celebrate this country’s 50years of freedom.
Cholwe
October 19, 2014 at 7:18 pm
Thank you grandma for the good words you have shared. May the Good Lord protect you as we celebrate this country’s 50years of freedom. God bless Zambia.
BWMK
October 19, 2014 at 7:53 pm
Mama kankasa’s words are still valid in marriage and family up building. All these videos on wife battering are just a contradiction to marriage and family life. Moreover, these videos are biased. they are just talking about wife battering as if women are only victims. When we have a lot of men who are being victimized by their wives today.
Every day Kuponokwa!!
October 19, 2014 at 8:19 pm
hypocrite!!