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My Husband Starves Me, What Do I Do?
Dear Readers,
“Its 7 month now and have been on sex strike. It started like a joke, my marriage is just a year+ and I think he’s tired. Initially he said he can’t have sex with me while am pregnant, which I dont agree with anyway but I just accepted my faith. During pregnancy sometimes my sex drive is so high and I will beg him but he always refuses. Very soon my baby will be 3 months and my hubby has come up with another excuse of family planning and have told him the options available but he’s still not satisfied. From what I can read, his crazy mind is telling him abstinence is the best option.
This man is driving me crazy. I married as a virgin and am not even asking for too much, at most once a week. There is no room to be suspicious of cheating but am beginning to get scared. I have tried all the seductive methods I know of and nothing is working. We even watch movies that have scenes that will arouse a normal person yet he is not moved.
Pls what can I do? Because this issue is driving me crazy and I’m forced to believe his cheating on me.”
From female reader
Posted by
Emelia mwale
November 15, 2014 at 9:52 am
Sorry 4 dat coz yo marriage z very new 4 dat kind of thing.tel bana chimbusa coz thats torture.u kept yo virginity 2 enjoy yo marriage not that,prayer,can also do wonders,he mayb possessed by a spiritual wife.all da best
Green
November 15, 2014 at 4:22 pm
iwe wat do you know? What if she doesn’t bath like she use to? What if she doesn’t dance and he has found someone who does? What if ni wamanzi these days? What if she is too fat these days? What he is going through a lot of preasure? Sex is a state of mind,something is wrong with u or he has found someone who knows positions
francis
November 15, 2014 at 9:52 am
My sister its sad to ear there are some husbands ,who doesn’t know the rich issues in a wife and husband relationship.u haven’t indicated the foundation of your relationship.the best advice I can give u my sister is,get back to your coughtship dids and pick what was your favourite moment for the issue @ hand.both u are the best pipo,who are aware what the cos is.
teddy
November 15, 2014 at 9:53 am
Am sorry about your issues! Their is something wrong with him tolk to him you probably did something to him and the sex issue is just the result. Or tolk to the elders take him to church. Or he is cheating on you!
kakolwe
November 15, 2014 at 10:02 am
Reasons are varied mwaice. Most probable is that his ego may have been hurt at some point & relates to your sexual encounters. Some psycho-analytical counselling may do. Or it may be that he had dipped it in many an experienced ndofu such that yo inexprience irks him. Phuck!! This guy is warped somehow!! Men tell me, who can let a hot, pregnant & yearning pooosey go famished!!! Mukashana Sala mano. Waupwa kucilibwe.
soft bee
November 15, 2014 at 10:00 am
my sister get bak 2 bana chimbusa or bashi bukombe or hs relatives,failure 2 which plan B my frend pantu mmmm u missin a lot elo ka new marriage ka fwaika ukuchita sana,apo fwe bali 17yr mu marriage tatulafika pakati lye pity u,anyway we hop 4 the beta
fenafrex
November 15, 2014 at 10:05 am
seek for spiritual help both of you,you may posess spiritual husband or wife,hence making your partiner un comfortable sexwise!
Sibang'a
November 15, 2014 at 10:07 am
Who married you and your husband.is it tumfweko and the public.go to your bashibukombe and a man’s elders.tawafundwa.why do u want us tobe involved in your marriage.or else go to hell.the must be a reason why he is not making love with you.
Judge Joe Bidden
November 15, 2014 at 10:10 am
It’s a normal action from ‘expectant’ husbands especially first time dads. He’s 100% normal. 1. Fear of ‘hurting’ the baby syndrome 2. After birth low sex drive as attention goes to the new born 3. Some women gain weight a lot n change shape that’s also remove the attraction 4. Lactating (breast milk) mothers and milk leaking it’s turnoff to some. 5. Mom, start looking good, tidy and sexy he will come round but his behavior is very normal.
Titus
November 15, 2014 at 10:10 am
Too bad my dear,
i feel pity on u but u can contact me +260965798568
am a zambian man.
Kawambwa luapula
November 15, 2014 at 10:17 am
Akabwamba kakwe takema.kalifwa
kamvundula
November 15, 2014 at 10:57 am
sorry ma sister….
let it be
November 15, 2014 at 11:56 am
That man is yours from God but without prayer u will lose him soon.Never go to witch doctors they will completely destroy both of you.
lelolelo
November 15, 2014 at 11:58 am
the man has his reasons,& you must also find your own solutions, dnt worry ekotwaba fwebashipishapo bushiku expectant or unexpectant mother
Joseph tonga
November 15, 2014 at 12:02 pm
Some of us men ar heartless.no wondeer hw marry in 2043
uncle D
November 15, 2014 at 12:22 pm
Maybe he just wntd her viginity ONLY.How he have it,I see no reason why he shuld continue hving SEX wit her.Perhaps he has been sleepin wit non-viginity frm the time he was born,meetin her was a miracle such tht he promised her a lot of things as a result she ended up giving in her viginity and become pregnancy after he hammered the viginity.Becareful vigin KONTE.
manx
November 15, 2014 at 12:25 pm
too bad, my friend’ case is da opposite. da wife started refusin wen she was 5months. as friends we ‘re holdin him back from hitin other girls.
mutonga
November 15, 2014 at 12:40 pm
Why is he doing that to you? just why???
mofu
November 15, 2014 at 12:42 pm
Problem yakupana no fundwa, what u should do is fwayeni abakumifunda talk to him about it.
Bossoso MKC
November 15, 2014 at 12:50 pm
there are physical changes about your body obviously.. a fact that your man is denying to accept.
sorry to say that: “he is being a child in behaviour”.
such changes in a woman are totally engineered by a man. therefore, it is simply by default that at man’s mare thought of having a child, that also he should think of change in the woman.e.g; growth in boobs, bums, tummy to mention but a few.
damn..! infact he is lucky you preserved yourself, quite a rare commodity on the market today..!
your man needs to grow en realise that he met you as a girl(virgin) transformed you into a lady, and finally, successfully made you a woman(mother).
do not stress, try to keep yourself busy with anything but careless eating.!
we thank the almighty God for the blessing of your child.
reader
November 15, 2014 at 1:00 pm
I think he cheated on u and he found that he is HIV positive,now he is scared 2 infect u
vincent mukusulo
November 15, 2014 at 1:07 pm
pressure point,put him in prayers all will be fine with you guys.
tutu
November 15, 2014 at 2:40 pm
limbi walikwata akachena akachifya atini? nalisendelepo ichilihule chimo ichamatako yeneyene nombafye akachena ubukala bwalifilwa ukwima…nangula waupafye itolele
tacho
November 15, 2014 at 2:56 pm
Medically u hv to wait for 9 months after birth before starting yo sex life. The child has to grow up healthy.if u start fking now, u will pollute the baby,s milk with sex hormones n yo child will look like a sickler.just chill mummy.u also need to check yoself coz most women refuse to hv sex with their husbands during breastfeeding period.y r u feeling horny
mutale yumba
November 15, 2014 at 3:41 pm
Biggest liar. If you were a medic we would get back the practising certificate. Completely useless advice and lies from the pit of hell.
Stretchable sweet potato!
November 16, 2014 at 2:12 am
Did you pass even grade 5 science iwe ignorant idiot tacho?
Bigger Boss
November 15, 2014 at 3:38 pm
@Jugde Joe Bidden..at especially first time dads,,,kikikikikiki,,,,,wandepaula mdala.Mayo iwe first check yourself bcoz even if your hubby is cheating as you suspect,that can’t be the reason he is starving you.its like he caught you cheating,,,indofu mayo yaliwama sana,umuntu teeti ese atile fwitifwiti without any strong reason,and if its true,uyo matole yakwe abe cautious,tulakwata utwapambali but we never make the wife suspicious!!!!!
Bigger Boss
November 15, 2014 at 3:42 pm
@Jugde Joe Bidden..at especially first time dads,,,kikikikikiki,,,,,wandepaula mdala.Mayo iwe first check yourself bcoz even if your hubby is cheating as you suspect,that can’t be the reason he is starving you.its like he caught you cheating,,,indofu mayo yaliwama sana,umuntu teeti ese atile fwitifwiti without any strong reason,and if its true,uyo matole yakwe abe cautious,tulakwata utwapambali but we never make the wife suspicious!Chinyo nshi atombele so that he underates yours,his wife for that matter.
litabazabutu
November 15, 2014 at 4:01 pm
A normal man should not go for week with out t sex but since these things happen, I will advise you to use what we call the ‘oil Ned touch no man CA resist the ten fingers of a man. Please inbx us at litazabutu reproductive health clinic on facebook.u will not regreat.
The Professor
November 15, 2014 at 5:15 pm
This is just one side of the story…What is his story?
humble landlord
November 15, 2014 at 5:39 pm
if yo marriage was straight then inform th family elders or yo church leaders to help, thats y they are there.. Coz he is not perfoming one of his greatest duty. Now where are u going to get it if not from him. Ifi Na Lesa tatemwa.
Maiko
November 17, 2014 at 12:50 pm
Humble, she should Never, Never inform Church leaders because they will Fack her. Church leaders are bad news!
christine
November 15, 2014 at 5:49 pm
Leave him ooooooo!!
xx rated
November 15, 2014 at 5:55 pm
Call 0977866685 for help.
MR DK
November 15, 2014 at 6:32 pm
am very sory dear jst try to tok to his bashibukombe
bmc
November 15, 2014 at 9:13 pm
Virgin nkote, tilichabe vipuba…the b1 song goes on, its simple just look for your old photographs and compare the way you look today. Maybe those nice looking bulms and bokosi have lost shape. Ngafyashupa ukaye ku heap boosting. Bukamba ukwima umugaizi.
Family matters
November 16, 2014 at 6:43 am
If you are able to read the comments, you will notice that some have given you good advice, some want to destroy your marriage, while some are bafoons. Do not contact those men who have offered their mobile phone numbers. They want to take advantage of your situation and sleep with you. The solution is. Pray about it fervently, talk to your banachimbusa to assist you how to go about it. Some pastors may also take advantage of your poor situation. Importantly, do not forget to discuss it with your husband. Be open about it. Tell him about what you are going through. An open discussion with your husband is the beginning to your solution. Be careful to discuss such matters with people, some may rock your marriage. I wish you God’s favour
Phira
November 17, 2014 at 2:26 pm
Sensible contribution iwe..
Family matters
November 16, 2014 at 6:45 am
Pray about if fervently. Have an open discussion with your husband. Ask him what the matter would be. Be careful from some help coming from some males. They want to take advantage and sleep with you. This would rock your marriage. Talk to banachimbusa for advice. This happens in marriages. Do not despair.
Caleb
November 16, 2014 at 7:17 am
Too bad my sister but avoid bring this issue here.its not good anyway call this number for solution if you are serious, good day Bana Mwana.
major chileshe
November 16, 2014 at 7:48 am
Giv him viagra
wazhili
November 16, 2014 at 6:10 pm
Continue being faithful.control your sex drive by sitting in cold water until he comes to his senses.walyufwako na kalemuna.Ask elders.
bmc
November 16, 2014 at 8:17 pm
Fellow posters, some marriages are born without banachimbusa, eg damages, elopements, and pretty few short cuts.i suggest the man should post the marriage history and loot cos for the loss of appetite for a virgin who has not even expired.being the first guy to test her sweet unused poossy and pointed breasts, it might have been a twakufwitila waonaula umwana kind of marriage.
man mude
November 17, 2014 at 12:05 am
madam, the truth is that your husband is involved in some rituals where he has been ordered not sleep with women therefore,conduct a serious prayer and fasting schedule with some SDA Pastors within 2 weeks am assuring you that the problem will be the past.Just do and see how God works.
LAMAN
November 17, 2014 at 6:03 am
WHAT YOU HAVE SAID IS TRUE.IT IS NOT ONLY SDA PASTORS THAT CAN PRAY FOR PEOPLE.
LET THE LADY GO TO GENUINE PASTORS FOR DELIVERANCE.ITS NOT THE NAME OF THE CHURCH THAT HEALS BUT THE FAITH AND WORKS ONE HAS.
Am sorry if I have commented negatively on your contribution, but that is a fact. May God Bless all genuine contributors.
LAMAN
Shi Mutale
November 17, 2014 at 7:40 am
Mwaiche wandi there is no smoke withou fire.leave that a**hole & come to me.
Ka String
November 17, 2014 at 8:11 am
He definitely has a disease, and he does not what you to get infected
Ka String
November 17, 2014 at 8:14 am
Ask him to go for a test. if he turns out to be -ve then leave him. He is not normal. If he is +ve, thank him and then tell him its okay..that is if you love him and use protection otherwise leave
Cool temple
November 17, 2014 at 8:42 am
Maybe he is bisexual wee ! Just wanted a child as shook screen. Pantu it’s not making sense.
DIP STICK
November 17, 2014 at 10:16 am
IT’S STUPID TO BRING YOUR MARRIAGE ISSUES HERE. YOU CAN’T SEE THE SENSE BECAUSE YOU ARE SUCH. BUT, YOU ARE WAYWARD IN BRINGING YOUR MARRIAGE PROBLEMS HERE.
GO BACK TO THE DRAWING BOARD.
Trixy
November 17, 2014 at 10:59 am
Please cut the lady some slack. The best advise often comes from a stranger coz people who know you tend to be biased in their advise. Mama take a look at the comments above especially the one by @Joe Bidden, it makes a lot of sense. Also others have talked about him having an STI and not wanting to infect you, spiritual issues which need prayers, counselling, revisiting your looks, etc. Make sense out of all these comments. GOOD LUCK.
Mpasi
November 17, 2014 at 12:04 pm
Conjugal rights! Conjugal rights! Take him to court, lol
Tramp
November 17, 2014 at 3:30 pm
Rape him..
mary
November 17, 2014 at 4:43 pm
sorry sister, had gone thru such, consulted, it was not normal, he has a girl friend who has used juju on him, I knew nothing by then, If you believe totally in God pls go to him as He is the one who ordained marriage. We ended up in divorcing. but wd nt advise though after sometime he came back but was already married to smone else. God bless your house.
Alangizi
November 18, 2014 at 8:22 am
Some times it is u ladies who force men to behave in such manners, u pick up any argument with your husband, then u would say Nalamutana sex at night so that i revenge, forgetting that by so doing u are pushing away from u, \\\\\\\\Aba kulu bamano they say KUNSHI KWAMWANA KASHI TAKUFULWA.U have differed in opinions not sex. U start a war that u can’t finnish but busy complaining. Know the root cause first. and I’m sure u are!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
alick
November 18, 2014 at 2:43 pm
I did the same to my wife, and she filed for divorce and it worked to her liking.
Am happily single now.
There are alot of things that constitute a good marriage. Some like sex everyday , than just food. As for me twice a week was enough.
File for divorce, if you can financially stand alone. If not, join the multitude which worship husbands.
State house
November 18, 2014 at 2:47 pm
let us talk on hi5. it is social net work. my user name is aljay. please join then we talk. this too public. or give me your email address