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My Husband Thinks I Lied About Being A Virgin Because I Didn’t Bleed The First Time
Dear Readers,
I’m a young girl of 28 years. I’m married to a lovely husband that loves me so much but my problem is this. I married my hubby as a virgin but the first time we made love, he was expecting to see blood which he didn’t and since then he has been accusing me of telling him lies about being a virgin.
I asked few of my friends and they told me that yes that blood is suppose to be a proof to that. I became more confused as I know deep down in me that am saying the truth. I confided in my mother and she told me the story of my life.
My mum said that when I was 4years old that our tenant called me into his room to come and take toys. The next thing she saw when I came out from the man’s room was blood coming out from my vagina.
Immediately she called my father and they went to meet the man and lo and behold he had ran away. My problem now is should I explain to my hubby all this? Will he still love me? please I need your advise on this.
Posted by
Laso
January 20, 2015 at 7:16 pm
HAhaha ati lo and behold he had run away…
Just like that?
This story is sooo flimsy. Mayo landenifye ati baliminyengelepo b4 getting married
Pastor Bling bling
January 20, 2015 at 9:28 pm
landa tumfwe
January 21, 2015 at 11:49 pm
The truth shall set you free!
Chalo
January 21, 2015 at 11:59 pm
Tell him the truth, if he does ‘nt understand, he’s an âsshôle that does not deserve your love. Get out of there fast, and wait for someone that will really love you for you. Dare waste your precious time with a freak, who’s only interest is marrying a virgin. Any virgin as long as it’s a virgin, mind you.
Alfred mwape
January 20, 2015 at 7:31 pm
Nobufi bulemoneka. A virgin at 28 ur even saying ati a young lady, wy u ladies mutubepela fwe baume?
lnvestigator
January 20, 2015 at 7:31 pm
mmmm, sounds tricky. But you see all these issues of virginity and so forth are a proof that you have not slept with any man. lnfact it makes the man proud. Biologically women are made in such manner that once she sleeps with a man for the first time she need to produce some blood after the small membrane is raptured. Again depending on the friction, if the girl was so rubricated and that the penis of a man is small, that membrane may not break though it is a rare experience. But again it depends on the man, there are so many women that have married after they have lost their virginity elsewhere and they have lived a happy life. But what you need to do let his bashibukombe plwy a role to help your marriage.
king solomon
January 20, 2015 at 7:35 pm
If your mum said balikunyenga at age of 4 years, and now you are 28years the difference is 24years.
at 4years your virginal tissues were too tender to easly patch up.
baliminyengele before marriage.
joe
January 20, 2015 at 7:49 pm
Ok dear ,u have asked for advise when its too late. What you needed to do is to have sex when u are attending your MOON. That’s what they trick us.
major chileshe
January 20, 2015 at 7:54 pm
Mmmm 28 ati young gal?no u r a vetran u
Denkete
January 20, 2015 at 8:40 pm
Balikulye cisungu maayo. Nganikumwesu ku lubemba, owo balya icisungu aliba very cheap. ni K2.00 fye ninshi empango.
monk
January 20, 2015 at 8:58 pm
me i rememba things ifyacitike pa 4yrs. mulabekofye guy walimu gonga nifyofine twalibelela. every girl u ask is a virgin???
king solomon
January 20, 2015 at 9:20 pm
Awe chishinka monk boyi, bagelo banomba tabeshiba na meaning yabu virgin, bena nga apishapofye 2 days no nyengwa ati im a virgin.
bashm
January 20, 2015 at 9:20 pm
Worst ever to happen is marry a woman!
lesbian wife
January 20, 2015 at 9:39 pm
Then go and marry a man who is stopping you?
Alfred
January 20, 2015 at 9:27 pm
U lost your virginity
at 4yrs….no advise..mummy..!
Dibula
January 20, 2015 at 9:51 pm
God is imaginary and does not exist. He was invented by men just like spiderman that’s you never see him /her. No one seem to know what it is they are referring to when they say God. Even you with you confidence do not know what you mean by God. What he looks like? Where he lives ? Who is his mother or father? Whether he is alive ? You do not these things but you pretend to know instead of admitting you do not know. Pastors are stealing money and abusing girls while the imaginary God watches doing nothing because he is a character in a story book just like Cinderella. Where is hell ? do skies and God is nowhere to be seen because he is an imaginary figure existing in your heads. That’s the bible says the kingdom of god is in you , yes in your head
virginity
January 20, 2015 at 9:58 pm
that’s not possible. you are not a virgin mama just tell him the truth. the truth will set you free
Rastaman
January 20, 2015 at 9:59 pm
You cud have jst said da truth even if you had it once or twice.Did’t your hsband tel you da truth abt his past sex life?
israel king
January 20, 2015 at 10:37 pm
sorry dear
Zambian-To-The-Bobe
January 20, 2015 at 11:56 pm
Too late for your lies!!! Just confess to him that you were not a virgin! Or you should have consulted how your friends manage to “cheat” with the virgin story! Aren’t they all virgins at the wedding day ? (so they all claim!).
TimZ
January 21, 2015 at 12:19 am
Iwe mama niwe mtesi comene. Yowoya waka uneneso vinthu viwewaka makola.
aisa
January 21, 2015 at 3:52 am
tell him and the truth shall set you and him free.come go on
From sicily
January 21, 2015 at 6:08 am
Lo and behold tenant ran away..thts not true,let the man find if your parents reported the case to police coz am sure records are there..advise “tell him u were raped@ 4yrs by your tenant who ran away almost seconds frm abusing u and neva got back to pack his belongings till nw,am your neighbours are witnesses to your claims
john kwempa
January 21, 2015 at 6:56 am
Iwe limbi akwata akanono sana kwati ni pencil teti kakucene
ted
January 21, 2015 at 6:57 am
Doubting if its a true story.what of your husband was he a virgin.am man and married .why always it has to be a woman
Chief of Grief
January 21, 2015 at 8:18 am
Tapali!!Walepopesha kumbi nangula u liked bicycles kubwaiche tefyo pantu ilya saddle yapanjinga is a di*ck palweka.Olo limbi akabwamba kakwe nika toothpik te?
MUDIDI
January 21, 2015 at 8:35 am
Belinda nafwa…landeni fye mayo chishika….
Kawambwa
January 21, 2015 at 9:20 am
Akabwamba kakwe kanono sana such dat he didnt penetrat.
John tate
January 21, 2015 at 9:21 am
Is he a virgin himself? that man doesn’t love you and if u tell him that story, that will be the end of your so called marriage. Imagine hes pestering you over a small issue ya u virgin what more iyo issue? apa mayo ni keep your story to yourself
Herve Stalin
January 21, 2015 at 9:34 am
Bufi bamayo. Does your mother need to tell you what happened to you at four? You should remember that. Look is your husband in love with you or with a virgin? Let him go and get a virgin if he really wants a virgin. you are not! why are people in love with conditions?
CHARLIE
January 21, 2015 at 10:00 am
Was yo husband a virgin before he married u? it is unfair to pester u over such an issue. it is not adultery. it is not rare to break hymen without sex. so let yo husband give u a break.
Watcherman
January 21, 2015 at 10:17 am
Yes, blood can come out of one a virgin. But what is virginity? Means one untouched by man sexually by insertion of penis into vagina canal.But one may not do or allow that happen in many years without indulging in any sexual encounter but may at some time in growing that girls go for oral sex by inserting objects simulating real penis like banana or toys and rub around to stimulate sex. This may lead to membrane breaking, blood coming out and you forget years later because one did not sleep with man in reality. Defilment can also do that as well as rape, besides, sporting activities also can break the membrane depending on what type and frequency. See the go between.
dm
January 21, 2015 at 10:37 am
this is totally a wrong place to seek advice for issues of nature. do not you have elders in your family ties or people you can confide in? i doubt if you will get answers you are looking for!
Kenneth
January 21, 2015 at 11:03 am
All ladies tell lies and here the real issue is the man does not love you maybe the others are saying your vagina is too big
akapondo
January 21, 2015 at 12:20 pm
no comment!
chrissy k
January 21, 2015 at 12:34 pm
iyo yena iliko trick.
Mubanga Chipalo
January 21, 2015 at 12:50 pm
Ladies and Gentlemen on this list, what is secondary virginity? Can somebody explain its meaning to the young lady because I have been hearing about it from a lot of people.
bentrynsokolo
January 21, 2015 at 1:16 pm
the issue of virginity shudnt b a big deal in marriage coz some women r naturaly waterly. So even if she is a virgin u cant enjoy. Some women with children r tyt, warm and sweeter than some of these virgins…. So ninshi uyo chikala aleshupila…
lies
January 21, 2015 at 1:29 pm
This fiction is totally nonsense!
Songo
January 21, 2015 at 2:02 pm
Sorry mama, I think you are not telling us the truth. From my own experience a lady who is a virgin experiences two things during first time sex i.e 1. pain because the vagina is still tighty(although even any other lady can experience that due to insufficient lubrication) and 2. bleeding. A man has to use skill and take his time to penetrate otherwise she will be badly injured. Even if you lost your virginity thru toys as u claim(that is if your neighbour’s toy was not working and had to use artificial toys), you should have felt some pain when your husband was entering you for the first time, if not then u should have been used and abused before u got married by other men. If he just entered as if in a ditch then you were not a virgin and u should confess to him u lied.
Watcherman
January 21, 2015 at 3:49 pm
There is no secondary virginity.Virginity simply means untouched, unplowed if it is bush. impanga yabulwa kulimwamo nangu kukwesamo ulukasu. simply clean.A toy can destroy virginity as there will be no membrane to tear at first encounter sexually. Virginity is then all about intact membrane in a woman. Intact top layer soil of a bush, all trees around uncut. shows chastity of a woman, pride of a woman, real woman. But it should not be an issue if you love someone. These days are so much peer pressure that children easily lose this pride mainly for being ignorant of what it is to a woman. Men it is lighter, not pronounced as with women. Due to intense sport this delicate membrane can tear without notice especially when it coincides with periods.otherwise truth is all needed for peace.
SYMPATHIZER
January 21, 2015 at 5:32 pm
The truth will vindicate you !!
popolyonyongo
January 21, 2015 at 7:16 pm
Ulupiya lwampango lutikame
Elyashi muletusebenya basweini
Baliku tomba before!
ounce
January 21, 2015 at 8:18 pm
What this Bro should worry about is the woman’s HIV status and not her Virginity.
juju
January 21, 2015 at 8:57 pm
Please its not your faught,JESUS SAT AND THEY BROUGHT A WOMAN TO HIM,what did Jesus do?and what did the pipo arround him do?
Chalo
January 22, 2015 at 12:10 am
malabisi!!!!!!!!!!!! dunderhead
umuntu mubi
January 22, 2015 at 8:23 am
False story. Just concocted to attract attention.
angel
January 22, 2015 at 10:00 am
as you grow your muscles get bigger and lose its normal, at 28 sure!!!am sure even your fingers did justice…..
kakolwe
January 22, 2015 at 10:25 am
Fwebatulaulapo utupya we did not even care whether my woman came with one or not. Why search for that when I had 2 kids on my baggage as I found the woman after mine own heart. So naine tulya malile are someone else’s wife. So guys, worry not about ka hymen.
Kulyafye walafyala. Capwa!
diaspora
January 22, 2015 at 11:58 am
…but what is his story, was he a virgin when you met?
Bwafya sana. Virginity is only so pronounced in girls/ladies… just thinkig!
jalahaja
January 22, 2015 at 12:31 pm
so sad story, from what you have said, i can feel some truth, you were young, and your mother did not tell you all that happened all these years and allowed you to get married knowing the truth and you thought you were a virgin. your mum should have known better the consequences of doing this. now after all this, what picture can you and the rest have about her, what more has she not revealed to you? the point is she should have told you this a long time when you got of age, you could have had enough time to come to terms with what happenned to you, and you could have narrated all these to your husband before you got married and these issue could have been sorted out way befor marriage. am wondering at 4 yrs, can a girl loose her virginty? well science can explan that. since blood did not come out, the truth is you were not a virgin period! now to address your question, its on the mind of your husbsnd, he knows you better than any of us commenting on this thus he can know when you are lieing or telling the truth, for you to bring this out, then it is an issue in your home, face the facts, tell your husband what happend to you, and if he does not believe that, your mother should do the talking for you and she should be the one doing the answering of all questions that may arise thereof. believe me you are just scared and your husband will not divorse you for what happened to you in the past way before you knew him. the bible says , ” you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free” you have know the truth, it has to have the quality of setting you free. thats the bealty about the truth, its sets one free. after all these, you and your husband will forget aboult this. but for as long as you keep on insisting that you were a virgin, your husband will continue seeing you as lier, so admit it and move on. infact felicitations on never sleeping or having sex before your marriage, surely God has blessed you with a mam that can understand your past. good day.
kabaso
January 22, 2015 at 12:59 pm
wading in another man’s sheet.
Nc'wala
January 22, 2015 at 1:52 pm
I was a secondary virgin ie for 4yrs I never slept with a man.I had a painful experience,but explained to him.For 24yrs it must be something else, need to tell the truth to your man.
Mubanga Chipalo
January 22, 2015 at 2:02 pm
Lastly what my young lady should do is that let your mother tell your go-between what happened to you during your childhood and then that man should come to your house and tell your husband in your presence what happened to you in childhood. Now if your husband insists on asking why your mother never disclosed that important infomation to him before your marriage, Then tell your husband that you never knew anything since you were just too young to understand the repercussion what happened to you. Then it will be up to your husband to decide the next decision and you should accept whatever dicision he comes up with.
kelvin
January 22, 2015 at 3:12 pm
It’s not all about defilement as it stated but this could be even the lesson to other women.
The lose of virginity comes by:
1.Sex
2.sudden movements of legs
And am going to tel the public about number “2” (sudden movement of legs).Legs could be suddenly moved when:
1.Riding a bicycle,
2.Running,
3.Playing Games like netball,Football,widder etc.
These activities breaks the membrane that located between a vagina & a servix.When this membrane is broken,it makes the vagina bleed as the prof of virginity.
So Bamoyo limbi mwalitemenwepo cimo pali ifi ico icamiletela nomba ubwafya but ukulinganafye nefyo mulondolwele,ine teti ngumfwe.Ukumyelelakwena kuti namyelela.