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‘We Have No Time For Sex’ Female Reader Wants Help

Dear editor

I’m in serious need of help from you and your readers
I’m a young lady in my mid 20s happily married to my husband of six years who is in his early 30s.
We only have one problem-Time for having sex.
My husband goes for work at 06hrs and comes back around 16hrs. Immediately he finishes eating his lunch, he goes straight to his books to study and do his assignments because he is doing an additional Law Degree on distance. He spends most of his time on books researching because he tells me Law is bulky and demands a lot of reading. I only call him for supper around 19hrs after which he goes to bath and then returns to his books. He  retires to bed earliest around 22hrs and he wants me to stay awake so that we can have sex after he has finished studying. I fail to wait for him and sometimes he gets angry with me.  I suggested that we start having sex when I go to bed and then he returns back to his books but he says he gets tired and sleepy after sex and cannot return to the books. This results in us having sex for only two or three times per week at most, especially on weekends. At times we even spend a week without having sex.
I don’t know how we can share our time because we have no other time for sex apart from at night.
Please readers your diverse comments will be of much help to me, I’ll be able to sieve valid from invalid one
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Posted by on March 6, 2015. Filed under STYLE. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

52 Responses to ‘We Have No Time For Sex’ Female Reader Wants Help

  1. joko

    March 6, 2015 at 8:41 pm

    Call me at 211123456 for advice.

    • 20.01.15

      March 6, 2015 at 10:55 pm

      .All seats in Southern pr are occupied by Tongas from UPND,
      If EL appoints 1,u fire them yet u are the ones complaining that Tongas are being sidelined mwamona efyo mwatumpa bane.Ka HH MAFI YA NGOMBE IS HE NOT THE ONE WHO WAS COMPLAINING OF WASTING RESOURCES THRU BY-ELECTIONS?
      IYEE UTUMANO UBUNONO

  2. New Educated Zambia

    March 6, 2015 at 8:42 pm

    Look lady I know how hard things can be. However, you cannot blame a man who is only trying to survive due to the hard life that the PF has created for many people. Many people have to work or save considerably in order to afford a basic right to education. The PF has continued spending money on irrelevant undertakings without any achievements to show for. Meanwhile people like your boyfriend are forced to work long hours while funding their studies. Indeed law is a very intricate subject. We in the UPND will ensure we support people such as your BF. In turn people like him can lead humane lives and have a social life. In the mean time try other methods of pleasing yourself until he does that which is for your benefit.

    • The Equalizer

      March 7, 2015 at 8:29 am

      Ba UPND, how can you help when you have not even listened/read properly what this person is saying. She says she has been married to this man for 6 years, therefore HUSBAND not BF as you say. Obviously you have other prioritites than the interests of this person.

      • new educated Zambia

        March 7, 2015 at 9:24 am

        An error on my part. Thanks for that . However I doubt it changes the effect of my well thought out comment. Mistakes like this happen on a Friday night

        • MM Le Grand Patron

          March 7, 2015 at 12:37 pm

          Lol. Day made.

          • New Educated Zambia

            March 7, 2015 at 3:37 pm

            MM le grand it is important for one to unwind and have a drink at the end of the week. However, I have come to learn that one should not mix social media and alcohol intake. I hope you are having a a good weekend

  3. Manda

    March 6, 2015 at 8:46 pm

    Having sex is not priority number one in life. There are Better things to think of than sex. He tries his best to spare time in the night to have sex with you but seemingly its not enough for you. Are you a sex maniac that you can’t leave space for husband? Re-align your direction and do something better with your life than thinking of sex

    • HH

      March 7, 2015 at 10:47 am

      Point

  4. joko

    March 6, 2015 at 8:47 pm

    Kukonda muchopo. Musiye munzako apunzile. If you were the one studying you’d be worse.

  5. aisa

    March 6, 2015 at 8:57 pm

    go to alangizj

  6. Bujo Mujo

    March 6, 2015 at 9:00 pm

    Sex Iwama Nawe Ukonda

  7. DorasiliyaHULE

    March 6, 2015 at 9:01 pm

    Family comes first and sex is the most important thing in marriage. if a man complains then we blame the woman but a woman complains we condemn.
    As much as you need to understand him you must not give, try to find a way to make it work though its true that after good sex every man goes straight to sleep. its our weakness not being tired. My siter try to be getting your best in the morning before he takes a shower to go for work.

  8. ba muntu

    March 6, 2015 at 9:17 pm

    Panyo pako iwe swine,sex addict

  9. Fulu fulu

    March 6, 2015 at 9:29 pm

    So he tells you to wait for him until 10pm, and then you fall asleep in the process of waiting? It’s a question of how bad you want it. You can reorganize your day such that you’re awake at 10pm. He’s right, the aftermath of sexual intercourse is tiring, and thus, one just wants to rest. This is not rocket science, and it is honestly a silly S.O.S to post on Tumfweko. There is also what is known as ‘the quickie’, try it.

  10. redlinso

    March 6, 2015 at 10:06 pm

    3 time a week is not enough?Ha ufuna chani?muleke abelenge.

  11. chomoriah

    March 6, 2015 at 10:40 pm

    3 times ok.

  12. Akatuntulu

    March 6, 2015 at 10:54 pm

    Unfortunate situation for you my lady, the man is focussed, he is imagining big to an extent that he forgets to satisfie you emotionary. I find it hard to believe that you fail to wait for your man up to 22hrs. If at all you need to be nailed, can you fail to wait for him? Lets be serious bane this may lead to serious marritual problems in future. I would preffer her to discuss the matter with the husband than bringing the issue on tumfweko any way mucili abaice complaining whilst he is still around kumbi tabamoneka nokumoneka for months mwaice. Just talk to him.

  13. mr cool

    March 6, 2015 at 11:21 pm

    three time in a week is ok with gud sex.yo hasband is trying so hard to better yo lives so understand him.u can get yo share earybels.

  14. Chief of Grief

    March 7, 2015 at 12:06 am

    Okay,the dudevis ryt mami pantu just after ejaculatin tulachita secret ilya hormone ati oxytocin,prolactin na prolactin eyaleta utulo nangula fatique bad.Nomba iwe ninshi walitemwisha ukutombwa tefyo?If thats the case include umutoto nangula tukafupa muli menu yakwe bt then again his studies wil b compromised bcoz of yo nyele.My advise is kip yoslf busy up until 22 koloko n mek sure u utilize d!ck mpakafye azala chikala.

  15. tutu

    March 7, 2015 at 12:58 am

    wehule lyakantu leke umuntu abelenge alete ubunonshi panganda..ambe ukukutomba non stop dibili dibili ati iyo,u ar tritin me like a sex object…oke let me advise u,lilya chikala chakwe aikala petabulo afumya nefitabo,jst quietly sneak under itabulo,then softly start playin namatole(I min softly),ukapapa efyo chikala akaposa bwangu ifitabo nokukulasa palya pene petabulo…if he does then he is gay! and his boss is puttin t in his musula!

    • major chileshe

      March 7, 2015 at 6:04 am

      Hahahahahahaha ok tumfweko yaba nabantu

      • Zemuntu changed to Jacombian Transform

        March 7, 2015 at 11:51 am

        kikikikikikikikikiki but tutu wansekesha

    • thangata76

      March 7, 2015 at 4:50 pm

      Obvious amvela

  16. Yohane Mulenga

    March 7, 2015 at 5:54 am

    Go back to alangizi.

  17. mwale

    March 7, 2015 at 7:09 am

    ure very oka my lady.but first follow what he wants with full respect. give him merit behavour.when he say after 22h then do not sleep, wait.when he cames be not angry. handle him in lovery manner for 1 moth then second moth try to discuss whilest your legs on top of his leggs.talk to him within 2 moth then u will see him taking a right decision.the problem is u do not show humble to him.devil want to distroy your marrige .ask god .do not go for another man .god will punish u.every man humbles to a right woman.be that right one then he has no room but to follow.

  18. Vito

    March 7, 2015 at 7:21 am

    The are a lot of women in your situation, I suggest a vibrator can help until he has the time

  19. Lt.Gen. Tumfweko

    March 7, 2015 at 7:36 am

    Mid twenties and you have been married for six years, what have you studied, mukashana sex three times per week is very very ok. Start studying by correspondence it seems you have too much time to waist and you think about is sex. Too much sex ilakotesha,

  20. Kwati like so

    March 7, 2015 at 9:57 am

    Chief of grief & tutu r twins

    • shimucita panono

      March 7, 2015 at 3:20 pm

      I agree with you. they both speak the same language. But anyways, they have made my weekend

  21. ndindindi

    March 7, 2015 at 10:11 am

    You can also masturbate. it helps. But more importantly discuss issues with him. sex is not everything you can think off. it is actually one of the time wasters in education.

  22. redlinso

    March 7, 2015 at 10:50 am

    Wa ku Chipata a mwa chani?

  23. kenny G

    March 7, 2015 at 11:36 am

    Dats y yu got married so early it bcoz u lyk bonyenye so vry much dat u cnt even tink abot ur future,ur frnd z tryin 2mek a livin en u r disturbin ULINDOSHI?

  24. Frank

    March 7, 2015 at 11:47 am

    You are the nagging sexual problem. Three times a week is more than enough. The innocent man cant remain preoccupied with sex all the time.

  25. the wiseman

    March 7, 2015 at 11:55 am

    dats a serious problem many marriage couples now bt dnt 4 anything e.g vibrators & masturbating dts not a solution coz its demonic,my advice is yoz de morning b4 he goes 4 work,make sure wabubomfya bwino ubwamba so dt he ddnt ejaculate fast.wich means u cn b having sex many times a week

  26. game meat

    March 7, 2015 at 12:43 pm

    What will you do if he gets a scholarship abroad since it looks like you cant stay without sex. Sleep around? You are really a sex maniac, three times is enough.

  27. chichi.

    March 7, 2015 at 1:22 pm

    as younger as u’re?its true that u’re a sex maniac.let him concentrat wth his education.even that 3times,its not health.

  28. king solomon

    March 7, 2015 at 2:01 pm

    Indeed if he gets a honorary degree in law and finds a job in USA, surely you’ll celebrate whole night.3 times in a week is fine.Ask chief executives wives and see how long it takes them to be hammered by there husbands.stope UKULYA IMMSHILA(ROOTS)thats why you are never satisfied nga ba mitomba.

  29. Sikiza

    March 7, 2015 at 2:22 pm

    Ka lady kalitemwa ubwamba nga waumfwa insuna kwingishamo umunwe obe capwa

  30. juku1

    March 7, 2015 at 2:55 pm

    my dear law us bulk nd to make the matters worse its first degree of law.me am doing my masters of law.but humbly talk to him nicely cause too much studying again is bad.so just relax nd try to fit his needs as he supose to listern to u too.

  31. Desmond Ozokwo

    March 7, 2015 at 3:18 pm

    Three times a week is very much enough. In fact the recommended is once a week

    • Denkete

      March 7, 2015 at 7:07 pm

      once per week yaceepa, bakakwaafwa. I do it 4 times per week. fi orgasm kuli madam nipalya peene.

  32. cmk

    March 7, 2015 at 3:29 pm

    pf has been in gvt for only 4years and yu say he is suffering for de past six yrs.rubbish.

    • New Educated Zambia

      March 7, 2015 at 3:39 pm

      Mune what difference does it make when the PF claimed that it would develop zambia in 90days? Do you now see why I say PF is a farce. Let us vote honest parties that have visions and are policy led. I mean vote the UPND

      • king solomon

        March 7, 2015 at 4:17 pm

        Iwe ulikapuba saana swine.us Pf cadres know very well that in politics without a bit of lies you can’t go anywhere . That’s why few clergy men/women fail in politics.
        kubepako panono to catch the attention of voters.ka 90 days it was just a dribbling skill like leonel mersi at Barcelona.

        • New Educated Zambia

          March 8, 2015 at 1:03 am

          Not when the cornerstone of your whole campaign and the main message was based on 90 day development. You have just accepted to being liars and crooks. When I accuse you of this you all hurl insults at me. Am glad you have now come clean. Enjoy lying until 2016 mune

  33. Chanda

    March 7, 2015 at 9:20 pm

    I THINK THREE (3) TIMES A WEEK IS MORE THAN ENOUGH, NINYELE YABWANJI YAMENE ULINAYO, U WANT UR HUSBAND TO FAIL EXAM BCOZ OF UR SEXUAL DESIRE

  34. Chanda

    March 7, 2015 at 9:22 pm

    GO INTO THE STREET THEY WILL TOP UP TO THE LEVEL U WANT, IN FACT U HAVE ALREADY STARTED THAT

  35. pich

    March 7, 2015 at 9:56 pm

    22 hrs is good enough when everybody in the house is asleep.also u should know that marriage sex is not as romantic as many think. U cn have two hrs of penetration and sleep at mid night. Make sure u r clean down there so that u do not gross out the hubby. U cant study after sex coz of the stinking, sweating and heavy breathing aftermath.

  36. akulotenifye

    March 7, 2015 at 11:18 pm

    Kwena you sound so usless madam. Three times of sex in a week is enough. U shud no dat others dnt get bonked fo mobths. Wat type of bonkin do u dream of? Ur hubby is bize slaving for a bright future for a cat house wife n all u say is mo bonking! Jst get bize wit job hunting or masturbation. Kwasila.

  37. D

    March 10, 2015 at 1:30 pm

    all this lady needs is Love making nt
    sex, sex is evrywhere u cn even control it. bt can u make love alone?

  38. cadre

    March 10, 2015 at 3:00 pm

    That’s tha problem of uneducated women. U want tha man to fail? Asiye ku joba abwele ku twasa iwe ku bedroom, atase! 22 koloko iliche iwe chi mukazi ninyele ya bwanji ulinayo? Ndiwe nkumba ikazi?