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‘Am I A Side Chick?’
I met this 27-year-old guy sometimes in January and we became best of friends in no time as we complement in a lot of ways. Sometimes in March, we started doing a lot of stuff romantically except for penetrative sex because I am still a “virgin”.
Fast forward to now, we are like couples but, he says he is not big on commitment. He also said that there is this other lady in his life who he likes very much because she is caring and a great cook. The other lady however does not understand him like I do and is not as intelligent and ambitious as me.
He has said I should please be patient and allow him sort things out. My logical mind screams I am a side chick because the other girl does not know even about me. But my mushy girl mind says that I should stick around till say end of the year. What do I do?
I really like him a lot, despite the fact that he is presently jobless and broke. By the way I am 23-years-old and a fresh graduate with a job.
From female reader.
Posted by
major chileshe
May 21, 2015 at 9:48 am
Roses r red,violets r blu/ if ur man cnt tomba u frm january? Then the side chick is u/
RUPIAH CHAGWA SILIYA KAMBWILI
May 22, 2015 at 8:09 pm
I have a DNA testing machine on my body that can prove whether or not this man wont leave you.
See me at midnight at Manda Hill. I will be wearing a hat with a walking stick
Kays
May 21, 2015 at 9:49 am
just come to me am in need of a woman. seriouly ka am single
king Solomon
May 21, 2015 at 9:35 pm
He is jobless and broke at 27years?, well you say that tamutombana because you are a virgin.The big question is:who refuses to have sex between the two of you on pretext of virginity?From you he benefits financially, from the other lady he benefits sexually. Kikikiki.
major chileshe
May 21, 2015 at 9:49 am
Roses are red,violets r blu/ if ur man cnt tomba u frm january? Then the side chick is u/
mastazyo.
May 21, 2015 at 9:56 am
Come to me I’m very much willing to have some beatiful lady to marry. Whatsapp me on 0978010269.seriously !!!!
Red Umbrella
May 23, 2015 at 9:56 am
Girls as young as eight are being sent to sex camps in Mozambique and Zambia that are designed to prepare them for marriage by teaching them how to be good at sex.
The sordid training begins as soon as the girl begins menstruating and sometimes involves sticks being inserted inside the girls, according to child protection activists.
If girls are deemed to have performed the sexual acts incorrectly they are cut by the women in charge as punishment,
‘You … pay these (elderly) women to do this torturing to your child,’
There seems to be far too many “cultures” in this world which allow men to abuse girls & women.
major chileshe
May 21, 2015 at 9:56 am
Mmmmmm 27 no job and broke? Mwakulalya inshi nomba? Jus cm to me i’ll provide evrythin u need,ngati uni feelinga nilizilepo lamya ni 0977210679
Chief of Grief
May 21, 2015 at 9:58 am
No,u’re not a side chic.Just open legs wider n believe me u,he wil b yernin for u like a child in need of a candy bar.Its not that the other lady knwz how to cook,its cookin in termz of ukuyitomba,chilamupenya.so try not owez to b interlectual with him,sumtimz u mayb mekin feel inferior kaili naka jobu wakwata waikata?so if u care 4 hm lyk u said,mulishepo!
Trixy
May 21, 2015 at 11:22 am
@Chief of Grief….sometimes you talk sense…surprisingly….for sure the cooking he is talking about is sex….but still if this guy really loves this girl, he would respect her for the fact that she loves him despite not having a job. Moreover she is a virgin and ready for marriage, most serious men would jump for that opportunity. How many virgins do we have around these days? Veru few. Mwandi mummy do not lose your virginity to a man who you are not sure whether after that he will marry you or not. You have come a long way!!….independent woman wesakamana uobe ali somewhere alekulolela….
KASONGO
May 21, 2015 at 8:29 pm
Wrong advice. No sex b4 marriage is the way forward and just let this young lady keep her virginity for the only man to marry her.
Liyah
May 21, 2015 at 10:05 am
Woooooooooooow!!!! Mwah! At 23 stil a virgin? Eh nshabaneka kanshi! Keep it lovie, m so proud of u. Virginity is a special wedding gift m keeping fo my Godgiven hubby on that night…isungefye mama aba abaume thrz nothng like ur educated o wat.
Lil
May 21, 2015 at 10:05 am
virgin power virgin pride.U have lot to lose if u open up to that guy.Wait but not for him..Bliv me he will leave just after u lose it all..
kakolwe
May 21, 2015 at 10:06 am
Fast forward to 2025, you are still a virgin without penetrative romance but with kids from men who are married to less intelligent, less ambitious but committed women. You have two kids whose fathers have to be reminded about their birthdays and those kids call their fathers as uncles. In short, my dear intelligent, ambitious fresh graduate, you are not a side chick. You are a sperm-chembalapoto. Careful, check your relationship style. You may soon degenerate into a ‘dwinking springboard.
Trixy
May 21, 2015 at 11:25 am
Huh! @ kakolwe give the poor girl a break….lol!!!
Beautiful Moma
May 21, 2015 at 1:18 pm
Nice!
The guy has already mentioned that he is not big on commitment and you also know that mwabako babili, why are you still sticking around? You are chasing away the single guys who may actually want to marry you because you are waiting for this loser to come around on commitment. Sometimes, we as women should learn to use logic and let go of things that are no longer working. We hold on for too long and end up in miserable situations. Leave now and create space for someone who will cherish you. “Munshebwa aile na mafi kubuko”.
kakolwe
May 21, 2015 at 6:36 pm
Beautiful Moma, I salute you. Your brain is beautiful too!! Some people can stand in line for the bus that is not coming. But bear with those that keep coming back for it saying “It is only you, kakolwe, that can take me to that moment when oblivion and reality come together for less than 30 seconds.”
mj banda
May 21, 2015 at 10:09 am
Cute as u are and want to be a side kick? Think twice sis
catherine
May 21, 2015 at 10:14 am
he surely is getting it from samwhere else n not that he values you. cam on girl i think u r too smrt for tht. get yoself a man for u n not share. he will neva leave her
cam to think of it maybe she is his legally married wife.
major chileshe
May 21, 2015 at 10:15 am
Mmmmmm 23 still a virgin,mayo ikabola item yenu,start openin ur legs asap otherwise u’ll find cobwebs in ur ntwenu,thez no such thin as mr ryt,even the first fool u’ll open 4 will hit and run,thats jus hw it is ma
Liyah
May 21, 2015 at 10:17 am
@Lil ur right dear, virgin power,virgin pride. Hav some dignity sis,close them welo welo, ku manikilafye cz tabafwa. Better na no gud enafu ooo bt de best na yet 2 come ooo.
New Educated Zambia©
May 21, 2015 at 10:18 am
A pure case of how things have gone wrong in zambia under the PF. it has become perfectly normal for a man to be jobless at 27 and fending off women. Through zambian colleagues I know, it is now normal to have 30 year olds still living with their parents due to lack of economic opportunities in this pf joke of a government.
kakolwe
May 21, 2015 at 1:00 pm
Awe @NEZ, fimbi bupubafye. Like this ci Nephew, it is a son of my cousin who manages some bank. She has raised her 4 kids as a single mother, educated them well, even given them opportunities to excel in various industries. This louse of a nephew just prefers to finish his mother’s leather cushions, juggling the dstv remote control and demands the newspaper from the mother the moment she alights from her ML Class Mercedes Benz. And he is a 33year old first born!! Can you blame PF sure?
New Educated Zambia©
May 21, 2015 at 2:02 pm
kiki 33 alipena uyo mambala. he needs to be kicked out asap.
Liyah
May 21, 2015 at 10:20 am
Major so wt ar u tellin me now? Ok I pata u frm today.
major chileshe
May 21, 2015 at 10:22 am
@ liyah ati shani cn I b ur first babes?
Kay
May 21, 2015 at 10:23 am
Immediately you allow him touch you,ninshi chapwa…….Virgin power Virgin pride!
Naine nikalibe boi and turning 24 pa 1st June.
Liyah
May 21, 2015 at 10:36 am
Ba Chileshe aba first bachupo baane, imediatly he brks ninshi chapwa. @ Kay isungishenifye bakalamba…I just turnd 23 pa 5th may.
shao lin
May 21, 2015 at 10:42 am
Yabipa iyo you re a beautiful young lady with a good job find a proper & responsible man of your own.
Chanda Chimbwi IV
May 21, 2015 at 11:48 am
When fruits are ripe they need to be tasted to see how sweet they are! No, you are not a side chick, just give him the punani,let him pop your cherry and he will take you to the alter!
You will start worrying about side chicks when your boobs sag and when your sweet hole starts becoming too relaxed due to child bearing and over use!
Trixy
May 21, 2015 at 11:53 am
@Liyah, Lil and Kay…..virginity silembeka bane!! lol
lapkeni family
May 21, 2015 at 1:35 pm
You have said that he has another girl whom he says he loves very much and you are asking a question whether you are a side plate.
No wonder they say love is blind but i didn’t know that it can be blind to such an extent.
The answer to your question is in front of you but you refuse to accept it.
Try hard may be you will be luck
Mungo
May 21, 2015 at 1:48 pm
WhatsApp me on +27839871786
Denkete
May 21, 2015 at 2:11 pm
You are sitting on a gun-powder cake my dear lady.
At 27 he is jobless? What is his trade? Then he tells you to wait for him to sort out with the other chick, and you are waiting? Time fye akakutomba ninshi capwa.
major chileshe
May 21, 2015 at 2:37 pm
@ liyah my luv,its nat lyk dat u kno u my luv
illuminatti
May 21, 2015 at 2:46 pm
AHAA! VIRGIN ONE TIME. THE GUY IS TOO MILD AND HE IS NOT A HUNGRY LION. A VIRGIN! NO LULENDA LWAPONA.
YOU CANNOT LAST A SECOND. I WOULD LICK YOUR VIRGINITY AWAY IN A SPLIT SECOND.
GIVE THAT GUY A CHANCE TO “DOODA” YOU. ATLEAT FOR ONCE.
Shock Horror
May 21, 2015 at 3:18 pm
Sounds more like you are a stupid chick
JOHN CHINENA
May 21, 2015 at 3:44 pm
But why pride your self in virginity. It somthing millions have lost over centuaries. The moment you sleep with someone the first time, its gone. We all were virgins at some point, but what value did it create in our lives? The person who consumates it may not even appreciate that you kept it for years for them. So if you are happy about your mate just make love. A penis will come in, ejaculate and come out. It wont carry the vagina. After law virgins are made nowadays . Just sit in salty water and go to meet a gut. He will struggle to penetate, and when he manages he will mourn as he shags you.
Trixy
May 22, 2015 at 11:04 am
@John, wansekesha…ati the ntwenu will go in and will go out but it wont take the vagina…..lol
Wotembenuka..
May 21, 2015 at 4:13 pm
I can swear that some of u proclaiming to be virgins..niboza…virginity silembeka…Nee na proof nilinaye…via thinking..
iyee
May 21, 2015 at 4:57 pm
seek devine intervention, ningulu isho mukashana. u ar not even his side chick but a desparate 23 yr old young lady, ukumeka elyo mwali 18 nomba market yapwa mupepeke guy, muleke atemwa inchushi munankwe wee..
central street nkana east
May 21, 2015 at 5:02 pm
Here in kitwe we have a p.u.s.s.y paradise in the name of ZIbsip where students and a female lecture
can be impregnanted by unkown people
zebron
May 21, 2015 at 6:33 pm
Give yourself to me we move on
xeyesphobia
May 22, 2015 at 6:05 am
Come Lord Jesus come quickly
St. Sweet Anus
May 22, 2015 at 8:50 am
What is the meaning of a job? Question is can you shag well?
nawakwi
May 22, 2015 at 10:37 am
side chick’ why wasting your time? that guy indicated in white and black that he has someone he loves. he will not let go of you coz you re supplying oxgen to him while he doesnt love you. wait for the right guy to marry you and make yourself happy with your earnings.
IF NOT
May 22, 2015 at 10:37 am
Is this virgin anticipating to meet a man who has never had sex before? Despite claiming to be a virgin she sounds desperate.
SUSUWE
May 22, 2015 at 12:07 pm
No you are not a side chick, but a chick on a side plate. One day you’ll find yourself on the main plate….
jsm
May 22, 2015 at 12:58 pm
Wecinangwawe! Whatever rubbish you ve written is not meat enough for public consumption. Stop it!
Famous idiot!...
May 23, 2015 at 2:26 am
Problem limbi umwaice wama cheek kaili alebomba and the guy is jobless and on the other side ci mayo is keeping him well despite being dull… So apa cila muntu nobwamba bwakwe…
Renee
May 23, 2015 at 7:11 pm
Be serious with your life. Wrong to undress for a person who has not made real commitments to your life. I wonder how non pernetrative sex has been practiced between you?
You must be too desperate to wait for a person who has disclosed he is tied elsewhere. Move on for new singles who are bible practicing Christians.