A marriage can only survive on the alter of sincerity but, sadly you can’t get the truth from cheap people. It has been observed that some ladies are liars and in some instance greedy to a fault. If you are not true to yourself then it would be difficult for you to be true to the man who want to marry you.
This is the dilemma many ladies find themselves today. Our men always have their eyes on many ladies and in Zambia it is not a crime to have more than one woman. For your man to discipline himself and be ready to stay with you sincerely, you need to feed him with truth and confidence, always.
Below are some of the things I see affecting our young ladies:
Our ladies end up single or chased out by their husband due to too much media exposure –
It is disheartening how a lady will glue her eyes on her mobile phone from morning to night, only to raise it up and focus on television to watch fake celebrity entertainment. Tell me, what else will dominate the mindset of such ladies aside how to live the fake lifestyles they see on social media and TV?
Many Zambian ladies now dislike cooking and home chores –
Because they had been totally brainwashed by movies showcasing men playing the role of women in a family, and due to excessive exposure to American media that promotes gender-equality in a destructive way, our ladies are loosing their place in their husband’s heart. Zambian family setting is unique and that is why previous African marriages last longer and envious to the whites.
With this attitude, how do you expect an Zambian man to desire to marry you who claim to be a modern lady when he knows he is only buying more headache and trouble than helper for himself?
You Don’t Bring Value Into The Life Of The Man You Marry or Are Dating –
Your best friend married without contributing anything to the man that married her, doesn’t mean it will work for you that way. Think, work towards equipping yourself so that you can be a value and also add value to his life to convince him that you are worth committing to.
Adding value to his life isn’t by giving him money, or material gifts, nope… be a good wife, respectful, stay away from your mother or friends evil counsels, and above all be his best friend, helping him attain his goals in life, lending him moral, mental and spiritual support.
Your Mother and Friends Run Your Life –
How do you expect your husband or the man you are dating to trust you when you still allow your mum and clique of friends to be dictating which man you meet is worthy of your love and which is not?
When will you wake up and face the fact that some of your so called best friends may not want you to marry the best man and that your own mother may just be destroying your life for her selfish reason?
Lack of Manners, Character, Wisdom and Good Home Upbringing –
Your ‘hot girl’, ‘pretty girl’ looks will win you men; both the good and the bad, but your inner beauty, your character and manner are the things that will determine whether a man would marry you and, most importantly, keep you in his house as a cherished wife.
Ladies, to achieve this, do away with being possessive, challenging your man, manipulating him for selfish purpose. A decent man will love you, once you prove yourself worthy as a responsible lady.
Do not allow yourself to become a victim while trying to be too smart. Be humble, reap a good reward!
By Mrs Dara
Why Some Zambian Ladies Can’t Get Married or Stay In Marriage added by on
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Next time you write, please indicate at the beginning of your article that this is your personal opinion and it should be treated as such.
Nothing wrong to be too much exposed to media.Infact marriage shouldn’t be all that long.Honestly how do you bonk one pu$$y for more that 25 years? For me 5 to 10 years of marriage is enough so that she tries some other d!cks just like a man needs some taste of other pu$$ies!.Imagine if RB was bonking his first wife (same puS$ie) from those colonial days up to now? 50 years of independence with 50 years of the same pu$sie? Lets change this stone age mentality.mentality. Enjoy while it lasts.YOLO = you only live once..Yikes!!!
Yabaaa language language
Word of wisdom! If 10 young en single ladies can read en practice what is contened in this post, 9 out of 10 would get decent men to marry them. Thumbs up to the writer.
The problem is women these days drink a lot,they want to compete with me atase.
This is amazing. proudly saying ‘mrs Dara’
The other reason is EXAGGERATED GODLINESS. You see, even when we are called to live a holy life, we should not mistake this for loss of sense of REALITY or NATURRE. My cousin’s wedding church service was nearly stopped, when a lady appeared insisting that he had proposed to her first. This shocked many as they had never experienced such a thing. Upon inquiry, my cousin admitted the allegations by the woman, but also stated that he was sick and tired of her and decided to move on. He said that on 3 occasions of proposing marriage to her, she replied “GIVE ME 6 MONTHS TO HEAR FROM GOD, AM STILL PRAYING ABOUT IT”
Hahahahahahahaha ine dead!!!!
Amazing. So on the day of the nuptials God finally spoke to her to go collect her lost treasure. She lost a good d!ck if you ask me.
Who typed this hogwash and foolishly allowed to be publicised? This website, It’s clear this person never attended any higher level of schooling with a questionable IQ.
Yes this is hogwash. I agree with you and @pa zed. This article was written by a cheating, useless chauvinist who 1.failed to control the lady he was dating, 2. Strung her along for so many and expected her to worship him but she got tired and hit the tracks running.
Since when do you have to convince someone to marry yet he is the one that’s coming after you? These are the marriages we see not working.
MR.DARA, this your opinion and let me say that this advice is not for everyone, especially people who’ve dated jerks, who did their best to keep him but he still treated them like trash and left on the prowl for his next victim. You need help, it’s my belief that you have some cognitive limitations.
The article is too long my friend,werent taught comprehension at school? But anyway that chi lady in the pic is so fine!!!! Surely wouldnt mind hittin that
Nothing wrong to be too much exposed to media.Infact marriage shouldn’t be all that long.Honestly how do you bonk one pu$$y for more that 25 years? For me 5 to 10 years of marriage is enough so that she tries some other d!cks just like a man needs some taste of other pu$$ies!.Imagine if RB was bonking his first wife (same puS$ie) from those colonial days up to now? 50 years of independence with 50 years of the same pu$sie? Lets change this stone age mentality.mentality. Enjoy while it lasts.YOLO = you only live once..Yikes!
Mrs Dara, you sound like one jilted wife.
lol
Very true most ladies are really lost and lack culture.its pointless to think of marriage with this generation of ladies, its really sad. Hope this will help pump some sense in the ladies of zambia.
Well written, most women think that men go for their outer looks, but for most of us men what we look for is inner beauty, manners, understanding etc. I had a girlfriend who thought she would overthrow my wife on account of youth and looks, one day she asked me to find out why I could not move in that direction and I advised her that:
1) she was too pushy, each time she asked for something she felt it should be given there and then
2) She was so full of herself, she thought she was so beautiful that I would not afford to lose her.
3) She was too arrogant
4) A look at her facebook profile and her communication with her so called facebook friends underlined the fact that in marriage she could not last, she over exposed her character on facebook.
5)She felt every thing she did for me was supposed to be rewarded with something especially in monetary form.
6) She was foolishly moody
7) She would dress to deliberately attract other men.
8)She was too possessive, not ringing her in a day was an offence.
8)etc
True Mrs Dara,really thanks. In life what have learnt is that packaging is very deceptive, so many right partners have married wrong partners and wrong partners have married wrong partners.
true said thumbs up
this is good mrs dara,please continue advising
our ladies
Ba PN naba JJB, I think you are still in your nappies, leave this to elders who understand life issues.
Madam Dara, you are right on. this may help those that have failed to figure out why they find themselves in such situations.
advice is advice,take it or leave it
unfalling love is possble only if u know how to cement it both husband and wife can play the role of loving each other.
It should have been rated X-Certificate so that those still in diapers skip it.
we have alread ready this and you bring it again,be sharp bane.
Not only in zambian bt worldwide
Well written article. Thank you Mrs. Dara. How I wish articles like this one could be in such media every now and then so that young ladies out there could be cautioned about mannerism! Thumbs up to you Mrs. Dara.
That’s just your opinion not worthy reading.
This is a good article I think, it’s getting a very bad response from those who feel the writer might be talking about their personal bad experiences with men or women.
Both men and women have to be very realistic about what they are looking for in a person they are going to live with for the rest of their lives. The quality of the inner man should preced the out ward and economical status.
Most men are in it for the beauty and most women are in for the money or social security.
When beauty fades out and money is not enough respect goes out the window and the rest of the problems fall in.
And sometimes there is better beauty with Good sex elsewhere and good money does not buy all the things that should make a woman happy.
It’s wise to distinguish your needs from your wants even when selecting a life time mate.
PHUCK MARRIAGE nangula utuma COMMITMENTS!!Ewochakalipa ese’ambone,VOETSEK!!
Are you having a problems in your marriage Chief of Grief?
Thumbs up Mrs Dara. Those of you who are still single get this message, but those who are married like me if your partner is like that one on the picture or a husband whose like her, just pray that one God will get in control. Facebook, whatsapp, etc let not them control you, be in control. Your friend is back from work very tired just busy chatting pa phone,tablet etc. Divide time on how you use technology. What’s happening bane busy fantasizing what you watched last night pa zee/telemund channel awe we should change. Thanks Mrs Dara.
You cant find love on a one way street. It takes two to tango it takes two to even compete. Both parties have a role to pay in as far as getting a relationship move from one level to the next up until marriage stage. Have a good evening people.
Bemba ladies hav no respect for their husband and few stay in marriage right.she insults me and ma parents daily.
very true mrs daka, too bad for those who cannot see sense in it.bravo mama
This is a very important and timely article and I wish information like was readily available and discussed even on social media. The problem we have now plosives have become negatives and negatives have become positives. Though we are talking about ladies now young men are also to be counted here. But sticking to the point, ladies now distrust their husbands getting wrong information from disgruntled so called friends from groups/clubs or comments from social social media and telemundo. What their friends have experienced in their sad marriages becomes what they expect to see their husbands doings. The husband starts seeing a change in behavior and attitude. You star begging or demanding to be loved. She begins to give you cold shoulders and finding to be a burden in her life. You begin to miss her even when she is there. Can that marriage last?
Secondly, Zambian ladies have now known to admire white men thinking white men are better trusted than black Zambians. Their friends marked to whites are worshipped. Well people have a right to choose their way but better leave the guy alone.
Marriag killers now are telemundo, new Indian one in DSTV (do not the name), whatapp and Facebook. It would appear that marriage has become outdated and the earlier people changed their view the better. Those that condemned marriage would understood as some marriages have imprisoned pipo men or women alike.
Just like @Trixy mentioned above, marriage is a two way street. I get disappointed when I come across advice which places women on the cross. It’s true some women are unruly but most of them are really working hard at keeping their marriages together while the men just wander in and out of the house like strays. Am surprised you mention telemundo and those other useless channels. People really watch and get advice from that trash? Really?
Sure they do. It may not be directly but the problem is that watching too much of these channels gets into their life. They begin to see what they watch which are idea relationships or love between men and their partners and begin unknowingly wanting to see that in their relationships ignorantly that’s to say. Then they do not see that from their men and black become a problem. Look, why is that now the white guys and Indians are screwing Zambian ladies so much? It’s just the money at play but social media and television are playing a roll. Facebook – register as a lady and joking ladies only groups and see what they say about men and how they advise each other. Shame. Their is worrying disillusionement about men and as one blogger PHUCKED MARRIADGE I would understand why. It’s a 2 street thing and other of the 2 street is getting messed up big time.
People have become hard-hearted these days. Focus on improving your own life. You only have one and no one will live it for you. Happiness is a choice. Stay blessed.
Thank you mrs Dara.
Even the dressing of married women is also disheartening. One may want to excuse single ladies but what would a married woman be looking for if she is comfortable in her marriage by dressing so sexy and turning heads? Men have stopped adding ladies even when they are not happier about the dressing because one you talk about her dressing you will be labeled backward with village manners. But do you advise the person you do not love? The fact that you advise should show how much you care and not the opposite. Ladies are not flowers but people with divinity and honor. How would she feel seeing almost all ladies she meets while with you plainly admiring you? what about the opposite?
Not marridge but marriage!!
Excellent article mrs dara, may the good lord bless you richly, and my condolences to zibsip mgt in kitwe ,,, reagan k. I hear is no more i hope the embarissing pregnant at zibsiip is for the orher guy
mrs dara your husband has a goooood time with girlfriends. you are just for cooking and sweeping and the spare wheel when his funds are finished or when hes sad or sick or needs someone to look after relatives kikikikiki
help woman she is a mother please help them l
i pray to all bad comments stay well
Very educative and informative article. More of these are needed to make sure that our young girls are protected from bad vices that impact them with regret and unproductive lives.
Nice article I have learnt something from this n me being in a new relationshp I wud wnt to do my best.
eeeeeeeeeeeh oui…….chi article ubutali chikala,ulembele wiso? wabe itole kwindi,ine aslong as aletombafye imisangoshonse ishabako,namumusula once in while a while I mite consider marriage 4 a duration f @least 5yrs
U are right!exactly what is in my mind! Am going thru the same! I divorced her bcoz of the bear drinkng and of wild things!
Well said. They are many factors that lead to the current phenomenon including what the writer has identified.
From us women, the issue is that men have stopped taking the role they were given seriously. Living off a woman has become acceptable. Cheating in the name of tradition allows it and killing women in marriages has become the order of the day.
Women who do all those good things alluded to are unfortunately mostly finding themselves abused, despised, cheated on and so many other gruesome things.
I would have appreciated a balance to this because the atrocities that good women are going through, we will never know because good women are discrete.
Have Seen Kagelo Somewhere. So Have Made Up My Mind, Kanofye Nkalyepo. Tekachupo Iyo. Kaliulefye Ndakamona.
Kuti wacilya ici! Ona vibelo!