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BREAKTHROUGH: North Korea Discovers Cure For HIV
North Korea, famed for its unicorns and its non-Photoshopped, totally real missiles, has done it again. The DPRK’s extremely reliable state-run media agency reports that homegrown scientists have found the cure for HIV, various cancers, heart disease, impotence, bad skin, Ebola … everything, really. Turns out the cure was fertilizer all along. Why didn’t actual scientists think of that?
The compound, Kumdang-2, is allegedly extracted from ginseng using fertilizer, rare-earth elements, gold, and platinum, and solves every health problem with a single injection. It’s definitely real, and definitely not just propaganda meant to troll South Korea as it deals with an outbreak of MERS.
There are no published clinical trials of Kumdang-2, so you’ll just have to rely on “the opinions of millions of patients, all of which have been collected over the last 23 years since May, 1989.” Real patients. Millions of them. For real.
Also, 1989 was not 23 years ago. Either there’s something fishy about this miracle drug, or North Korea’s dear leader, Kim Jong-un, has been in possession of a universal cure for three years and held out on the rest of the world.
Because Kim would never lie to us, I can only conclude it’s the latter. Cold, Kim. Ice cold.
The Independent/ Gawker
Posted by
Liyah
June 22, 2015 at 1:15 pm
For reallll??? Oh ok Bravo! Kikikikik
Chales
June 22, 2015 at 4:29 pm
Yes!!!! ama live yayamba nafiti nafuti reconnecting back with all those hules. I will even keep a bag of D compound fertilizer in my bedroom
KARODS
June 23, 2015 at 6:05 pm
CURE FOR HIV/AIDS HAS BEEN THERE,EVEN OUR MUNSOKANSOKA CAN CURE IT.AMERICA INTRODUCED HIV/AIDS SO AS TO ELIMINATE BLACKS FROM AFRICA THATS WHY WHOEVER FINDS CURE AMERICA WILL SAY NO.
AKUNWENI AM ARVS NOKUFWA BWANGU,INE NIKA HERBAL MUNSOKANSOKA AND MY GRACIOUS REDEEMER JESUS.
pvcc
June 22, 2015 at 1:17 pm
Hope its for real, bravo!!!
Welcome to the real life
June 22, 2015 at 1:34 pm
Bufi
Huck Finn
June 22, 2015 at 1:38 pm
North Korea is known for such stunt events. Sometime back they sent an astronault to the Sun. He had to go by night time and he apparently brought back sun spots!Now its COME DUNG! Please do not chew off the dung and CONDOMISE!!!
daily drinking officer
June 22, 2015 at 1:48 pm
Bufi.
JASON NYIRENDA
June 22, 2015 at 2:40 pm
Hope it is true. If it is, then I have lost my job. I was trained in HIV management and I have been making a lot of money through allowances and consultancy. So what will happen to NGOs that have been specialised in HIV AIDS management?
Chief of Grief
June 22, 2015 at 2:45 pm
Mulabejah…..
major chileshe
June 22, 2015 at 2:50 pm
This cnt b true,i swear I hav heard a million of such storiz.do u think NGOs cn allow such? And hw is sondashi gona gona survive? Awe bane lekenifye tule tomba nama rubber fwebambi natubelela nokubelela.
Beautiful Moma
June 22, 2015 at 2:56 pm
Chachine major. Balekefye shikulu bantu aleshitisha zazamina pantu akafwa kunsala. And besides, shikulu may even be the first one to cracking it before they do.
chatasha
June 22, 2015 at 4:01 pm
They must treat their leader first,mulwele
Shimwana
June 22, 2015 at 4:47 pm
We already have Sondashi Formula, Y aren’t people talking about it!
mj banda
June 22, 2015 at 5:40 pm
watch out Sondashi
tutu
June 22, 2015 at 5:56 pm
come on imwe tupeni umuti bafikala pantu live mwihule kwena ililowele..live namahule dibili dibili nafuti nafuti nankwe nankwe..chapwa ine naleka ukubofya ifipapa
club zero
June 22, 2015 at 5:57 pm
Chawama
Aisha
June 22, 2015 at 7:00 pm
We need the cure today or tomorrow to save innocent lives. Consider the fate of children born from hiv positive parents. Should they just lose life like that for the sins of immoral parents?
Iam happy with such positive developments for the sake of innocent lives at risk.
May N. Korea be allowed to share and supply such valuable drugs.
Then compulsory testing should be carried out to find and cure all hiv positive people to eliminate hiv/aids.
New Educated Zambia©
June 22, 2015 at 10:13 pm
tumfweko stop misleading people just like the pf do. DO you know that by such articles you are actually giving some ignorant fools the licence to have unsafe sex? just like the pf you do not care about simple life
Kalyobwele
June 23, 2015 at 2:14 am
Hav bin wochng closely & i thnk new edu zam i congratulate U fo yo consistent campaign strategy…..bt rememba U hav bin adresing the rong Audience coz all of Us are Apolitical…
Kalyobwele
June 23, 2015 at 2:22 am
Caming bak to vis topic…..1stly wueva wrot & posted the fowaded txt shud len to B anylytical & assertive….unlyk ukupolomyafye kwati untu alwele mouth diarrhoea.
2ndly shamely…….ati thre is no clinical trials bt rely on de testimonies of ba kandilemo……
3rdly ati 23 yrs ago….frm 1989 to date dat shud B 26yrs ago….
Thanx fo de Historical update…& may t bear fruits in de future of dscovary
Philip
June 23, 2015 at 5:28 am
Kkkkkkk its a lie
freeman
June 23, 2015 at 6:28 am
We want our government to help sondashi Formula.
Andy
June 23, 2015 at 7:33 am
There’s a point in comment I read ,let them help the innocent children n those are affected unknowingly go on Koreans
Czar
June 23, 2015 at 7:46 am
Believe them at your own peril. You will end 6 feet down and soon become dung!!!!
Lemba
June 23, 2015 at 8:16 am
Ilyashi lya pansaka musenda chipuba. only a fool will listen to this and stop using condoms.
Lungu jr
June 23, 2015 at 4:54 pm
Oh yes good news but not for those on ARVs already