Dear Readers,
I met my husband four years ago when he was a struggling new musician with his own studio . He told me that he was working on an album with huge plans in the future. As my parents are conventional, they were initially against our relationship as they believed my husband’s field is not something that is ‘secure’. However, I convinced them and we got married.
I discovered during our honeymoon that my husband had taken the whole trip money from his retired father. He told me since he is struggling, major costs of the house are handled by my father-in-law. I started working and we started to manage our costs. It’s been three and a half years and my husband is still struggling with his stupid music career. I am still working and even though my father-in-law doesn’t live with us anymore, he continues to finance our household. I feel bad when he shamelessly accepts money from his father for minor things like petrol. Whenever I try to talk to him about this, my husband gets angry saying I don’t understand the struggle in this field.
He is also immature and careless when it comes to doing things like handling bank or tax related things. We both love each other but because of his work stress, we are unable to do much to express ourselves better. I can’t go to his or my parents with this because they will blame us and on our insistence to get married. I don’t know what to do. Please help.
From the time you met him he was struggling up to date and you loved him despite your parents been against the relationship. So continue loving him and encourage him to get a job so that music can be his part time work.
Good advise. Let you commit your marriage to God. Read Jeremiah 33vs 3
I haven’t read other comments I take it as the best comments. Let her stand by the man and encourage to “diversify” into other income generating ventures – a job is best.
Suck it up princess!
chase him,he only becomes a husband in bed .a real man must take the burden of his family.even THE WORD GOD SAY SO,oncemore chase him faith without works is dead.he is a dead man in mind.
Harrison your advice is good but a bit sadistic! yes l agree this gentleman is immature, because from the word go he indicated to the lady that he was struggling, 3 years down the line he still accepts and promotes struggling as being part of his life. To me young lady, this guy was so honest with you that he out rightly mentioned that he is a failure, except that he used a deceiving word “struggling”.l just hope you are not on a rampage recruiting future street kids disguised as your children. Please call a spade as such, give the gentleman enough space on the street to “struggle”. To be honest with you my sister, many youths have a challenge facing the real truth of life, that, “a man should sweat for his food” and instead hide in wrong talents such as music. Move on, let the chap face the hard life he thought he had evaded.
Nshalandepo
I love the statement “we both love each other”.help him to realise that maybe music isn’t his thing.:elp him to redicover himself,he just loves music but 3yrs is a long time to keep struggling, (reality check)tell him to for job.just saying.
Help your husband find something to do while he is trying to stand stick to your husband God is watching you
The advise that ‘IF NOT’has written is valid.
His father has spoiled him big time.
wat type of music, hope te sha ma yo!parents stop ukutumpika abana, alyupa namabamba mulemushitila! ati mwana kabili!!!him does not see da trouble of not contributing! introduce him to da Councillors who will remind him of his responsibilities besides da ones in bedroom.
Leave him, if he was the one working, you would have been history.
is it ok to call some1 u uv stupid, dd u luv him or his studio money, ulemutombeshapofye ifyofine lilaki lyakwe :—-
My dear, for better for worse, with or without money, his your lawful husband, make him grow one day he will be were you want him to be.
He who is lazy let him not eat, meaning the bible does not support lazyness.that man has a poverty mentality kip praying for his renewal of spiritual mind he mighty be possesed. Four years z not a joke let him be delivered in jesus name.
Bushe talepanta bola mu bed? Maybe you have tasted a side palte!!!
You woman, cut down on your expenses; start producing charcoal to suppliment your income; wake up early every morning to make sure your husband washes with hot water, give him good food and clean the house before you go for work; also make sure you satisfy him every single night twice and in early hours of the morning; in-between make sure the children are fed! If you follow through with this recipe for a good marriage, you will be rewarded when the man succeeds! KK did that even Obama!
I haven’t read other comments I take it as the best comment. Let her stand by the man and encourage to “diversify” into other income generating ventures – a job is best.
A real man should have a foresight and not a foreskin. Umwaume wabula cash cimo na No. Elo you sound like he is also sexully starving you. Abanankqe Ababa muliyo class balatomba make sure!!!!
Instead of asking for money for petrol from parents, let him ask them for money to do something. He must remember that parents will not be there forever. Music seems to be a failed project for him.
MB you are the one. Thumbs up. Mature advice.
panyo.before u didn’t see immaturity. u saw his fathers money,wanyopola zasila anti I am ashamed.panyo shame
Ama Say Shout Out 2 Those Who’ve Given Gud Comments Dey Gat Big Brains,They Aint Go Strugle It Showz Dey Knw En Andastand Wat Lyf Z Made Up Of U 1 In A Million Trust Me On Dis One.
@New Educated Zambia please move your seelee political comments away from this emotive matter- what has your Power Failure got to do with this man’s own failures! You are the ones EL needs at his crusade on the 18th October!
Since you are working give him money to start a business rather than him asking money from parents. Talk to him politely without injuring his feelings. I only hope you have not found another man because you ladies sometimes you bring out issues when you have started flirting another man. If u really love the man, u can live with him even if he is not working. What is important and more respectable is to be called Mrs…..
what’s his qualification and highest level of education attained?
A man can be poor and still be a friend of jesus
I think this man is somehow lazy all these years just music, he cant see that music has failed him, he should try something else, wokeup woman advice your man “behind a successful man there’s a woman” madam stop complaining do something for your husband to change! I think somehow is back ground matters!
From Experience Such Men Become Loose When Fortunes Come, By The Way Signs Ar There Since U Say He Can Be Trusted With Finances, Be On Your Knees Pray For Your Partner Continue Loving Him, If Possible Suppliment Your Income With Your Car Bein Turned Into Taxi And Since He Has No Job. Let Him Drive Himself, He Is Might Ve An Idol. Maybe He Wants To Be Michael Jackson, See If U Can Dance Along With Him,
This man is useless,married but you depend on your wife and parents?
You deserve it mukashana. Nishi mwalefyayana you did not know he was a bam? you thought you can control his bam life but you end up feeding his belly you i.d.i.ot.
He has refused to do something different. Implying that she has to accept the situation as it is. This is not a reason for divorce. You unfortunately have to live with this until he realizes. In the interim, God is the one you need the most coz he is the only one who can change his mind and open doors. That is if you are a Christian of course. if not becoming Christians is the starting point and allowing God to help is the key.
Times are difficult. If can’t contribute he mst not eat.
A man is the head of the house. White color job is not the only job one can do. He can start up a business than just depending on wife and father. He is a lazy one i suppose
Jobs are not easy to find .maybe u can help him find one? Otherwise continue luvn him he is yo huby 4 beta 4 worse.
Balimutumpika sana ba wishi he a spoilt brat. Leave him he will just finish you emotionally.
p1
Man, this is not a Zambian story. Why relate it to PF?
ba lady,wat u are going thru with your man reminds me of wat i went thru.in my case i my ex wife divorced me and people supported her.i didnt look 4 job but it looked me.al i can advice you is to stay with him and love him more.u can ask him to luk 4 job ,wat if he is not going to be paid on time?remember men can see samthing u cant see.if u re not happy wit wat he does ,tel him to stay home.if u want he can be escorting u to work .Gods time is the best,wo knows maybe God is preparing him.if he got a job maybe he was going to betray you.i was kickout of a place yo fellow lady was renting and a week later i was employed in another province.i visited after probation and pliiiiiizzz imagin wat happened.