With an increase in divorce cases, separations caused by infidelity as reported in the media on local and international news pages, and finally the cases of spousal murders, am forced to weigh on the causes of all these. My conclusion is simple, wrong marriage foundations or per se wrong reasons for marrying by many; the following are…

1. Sex.
Sex is great and an act God designed to be there for married couples though we have turned it upside down, being abused and made the central point of marriage. Great sex before marriage should never be a basis for marrying, soon in marriage people have too much of it, get tired and lose the prima essence while they are together, such lack of the first fun can lead to the above with with the most probable being infidelity in seeking new sexual excitement.

2. Church.
Contrary to what is preached by many churches that you ought to marry from within, the Bible doesn’t say any of such nonsense but rather that people should marry within the faith-these are two different things, you can belong to the same church but hold different doctrinal views about what Christianity entails. So a marriage based on church will suffer the above once there is a disparity in beliefs within the church or when one spouse changes affiliation, marrying in the true faith of Jesus is constant and is the safer way and not in merely the same church.

3. Pregnancy.
A lot of people are forced to marry not because they are ready but coz they are pregnant or have impregnated. Such seems convenient till one of the spouses realizes they impregnated a non suitor and have to merely live with them coz of a child.

4. Social status.
Any one who marries another simply because they feel they will benefit from the other’s social standing are a recipe for the above once they themselves attain it and maybe higher, the prima reason for marrying would have been lost and all what would be left would regrets on why they married.

5. Economic shelter.
Any one who married another to seek economic shelter during hard times will only find that marriage useful as long as there is economic need, once satisfaction comes in then there comes in a lost essence of why they married, a situation applicable to both men and women.

6. Coercion.
It doesn’t matter how good looking a man or woman is, being forced to marry is a recipe for the above and a marriage built around such will only last as far as those who forced the marriage have influence on either spouse or both. A gain of freedom by one partner is a start of regret and a likely walk away.

7. Appearance/Looks.
Any such reason as beauty for marriage is disastrous as beauty fades, never pays bills or create decent behavior, on the contrary most of the beautiful women and handsome married men are culprits of infidelity. Once looks cease to amuse the point of marriage dies with it

It’s people that have married for wrong reasons that make noise for God in the name of prayer for their marriages day and night, simply because they undertook this act with poor foundations, God will not do so much as his desire is to be sought before such an undertaking and not come in as a by-the way intermediary. Consultation and consideration with God should be done before marrying and not when married and are experiencing trouble. The Bible is clear on its lessons on foundations-
Any house built on poor foundation will fall away while one built on solid ground will withstand all storms. Love, Companionship & Friendship are the only solid reasons for seeking a marriage partner, all other reasons stated above are poor foundations.

Enjoy your Friday and Be Blessed.

Irvine Mbanga.
Tonkawa-Oklahoma.
United States of America.