My Abusive Husband Wants Me Back, I Need Help!

My Abusive Husband Wants Me Back, I Need Help!

Dear Editor,
I am a lady aged 32, was married to a 38-year-old man and  we had two kids together. Before he married me he assured me he never drank alcohol  but after he married me he started drinking uncontrollably. Whenever he got drank, he would insult and beat me for no reason. I would confront him about this  problem  but would always point to beer the cause. Sometimes I would  go back to my mother’s place and he always came there to pick me up and it was hard for me to refuse because  mum would always tell me to go  back because of the respect that man had for her.

He continued doing the same things over and over again, and when I went back to my mothers place,  unfortunately this time she had died, he came for the funeral and he told me he wanted me back home, I refused because I couldn’t take it anymore.
My family called his family and sat us down, I refused to go back but my uncles and aunties said that people will laugh at them if they allow me to stay since mum had just died and my father died when I was just seven years old. My husband promised my family to change his ways which he never did. I stayed with him for eleven yearss and my children grew up. I used to feel embarrassed when insulted in front of my children and his brother  we used to keep.
I stopped loving my husband and my feelings for him disappeared and it became very difficult for me to have sex with him because the same thing he insulted in afternoon is the same thing he wanted to enjoy in the night, he suspected me of having a boyfriend but I never had one. I decided to divorce  him against his wish and my family got upset with me. This was in June 2016 but now he has started coming back again claiming he has changed now.

Please  I need mature advice and he is saying he can’t love no other woman but me. No insults please!

5 Responses to "My Abusive Husband Wants Me Back, I Need Help!"

  1. peter siame   January 18, 2018 at 10:01 am

    My sister life is precious as you stated that your former husband used to beat you over and over again without changing next it was going to be death unless you are convinced that he has dramatically changed otherwise you will be a laughing stock if you go back and he start doing the same thing to you.

  2. Drugsquard   January 18, 2018 at 1:46 pm

    The man is a professional lie, he lied to you 3 times and how is he to expect you to trust him this time around. Tell him in a polite way that he is a fool to keep on pretending to be a sheep while he is a wolf.

    God will guide you on. See the growth of your children.

  3. mildred   January 18, 2018 at 1:46 pm

    Take yo time with that man especially that he does not respect you,bcoz beer cant be an excuse to beat and insult you in front of kids and brother. who then will respect you? Change is a difficult thing to do especially if its inborn,let him make a choice either beer or you,can he tolerate if its you doing that to him? Children need to grow in peaceful environments that way one can bring/discipline them well, Children learn from parents,they check ,observe,imitate and adores us so we need to be careful,,,take yo time sis

  4. felix chindele   January 18, 2018 at 4:37 pm

    you need each other especially that Children need their father’s care and mather’s care in order to grow in a peaceful environment but i advise you to take your time and give him a condition since he wants you back. Therefore ask him if he is ready to give him self to the lord because the only foundation for him to change he needs Jesus because Jesus is Lord. There after both of you can dedicate your selves to the the Lord and encourage him to go to church every Sunday which i fill is a good culture that is how he is going to change for the better finally let him abide to your condition if he needs you back he should give him self to the lord and repent from his wrong doings then he will finally become a responsible husband and sweet heart to his children and wife God bless you.

  5. mhongo f   January 18, 2018 at 6:34 pm

    The issue is a straight forward one. Firstly, marriage is between two people. You are the one who is being abused here. You can decide on either to remain in that marriage and to continue being abused until one day he kills you for the sake of your children or gain your freedom by leaving him alone. They say” Never advice a person to go to war because if comes back with both his eyes out, he will blame it on you who advised him. Bob Marley once song that ” when one door is closed , many more others are open for you. Am sure you can move on without him around you. I seen many women lose their lives in such kind of abusive marriages just for the sake of their children.