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Why ZAMBIAN LADIES End Up SINGLE FOR LIFE
1. Many ladies will end up singles for life because of media exposure- it is so disheartening how a lady will glue her eyes on a mobile phone from morning to night, only to raise it up to focus on television to watch another celebrity entertainment channel. Tell me, what else will dominate this lady’s mindset aside how to live a fake celebrity life being promoted on television channels?
2. Many ladies now dislike cooking and home chores just because they had been totally brainwashed by movies showcasing men playing the role of women in a family, and due to excessive exposure to modern media that promotes gender-equality in a destructive way that’s aimed at destroying the unique African family setting that made our previous African marriages everlasting and envious to the westerns. Now, with this attitude, how do you expect a zambian man to desire to marry when he knows he is only buying more headache and trouble than helper for himself?
3. Modern fashion and craze for gadgets is a great barrier to most ladies finding love and marriage. How do we explain a single lady whose only desire in life is to acquire the latest clothe in town, the latest mobile phone and pad to the detriment of her woman worth? How can a single lady maintain this lifestyle for long without bowing low to immoral lifestyle? How do you expect a man from a responsible family background, and who is in his right senses to propose marriage to a lady whose utmost desire and concern in life is to acquire costly electronic gadgets, clothes, jewelry, perfume, etc? Of course, majority of men would like to date such a trendy lady for fun and show-off, but wouldn’t want to propose marriage to such a lady even if she is earning the money herself because her expensive lifestyle already is a big turn off to most responsible serious-minded single men. Only men that are out to catch fun will be closely attracted to her, and her chances of getting a marriage proposal from them is as slim as a camel passing through the eye of a needle.
4. Excessive makeup turns most decent and serious-minded men off – if you have observed, you will discover that most men dislike excessive makeup, and more don’t even like it at all; reason they often times discourage their true loved ones to do away with it cos it speaks ill of a lady even though so many men will applaud and complement you for looking like an Egyptian mummy. A slight makeup is okay; but if you are out for marriage, try always to look simple and natural, it will attract better men, decent and serious-minded, except you are still living in your high school life and not thinking towards marriage.
5. Cut Down Your Participation in social network sites – if possible, close your facebook and twitter accounts because they may be doing you more harm than good, but you wouldn’t know until you hit 35yrs plus and still single and searching. If you cannot maintain a sizeable number of vital friends and family members as friends on your facebook, twitter, etc accounts, then you need to close the account and focus with your offline life. No man would want to marry a lady who jumps from one social network site to another because it is a clear sign of an unfaithful lady or about to be unfaithful lady, yes, that’s how men view it. Who are you to have a thousand friends on facebook, same on twitter, maybe on wassap, 2go, twoo, BBM, badoo, eskimi, etc?
6. Stop Giving Your Number Out To Every Dick & Harry! No man would want to propose marriage to a lady whose phone is always talking and laughing with unserious calls. You may not be a playgirl, but he would judge you as one, and will likely flee at the slightest chance or disagreement.
7. You Don’t Bring Any Value Into The Life Of Men You Date or Are Dating – because your best friend married without contributing anything to the man that finally married her, doesn’t mean it will work for you that way. Think, work towards equipping yourself so that you can be a value and also add value to his life to convince him that you are worth committing to. Adding value to his life isn’t by giving him money, or material gifts, nope….good counsels, being his best friend, helping him attain his goals in life, lending him moral, mental and spiritual support, and by not just being a liability that only bring requests and problems to be solved.
8. Your Friends Run Your Life – how do you expect to find a husband when you still allow your clique of friends to be dictating which man you meet is worthy of your love and which is not? When will you wake up and face the fact that those your best friends even though they cherish you, wouldn’t want you to marry before them or to marry the best man?
9. You Move Around In Groups – often times, you miss the advance of a good decent man when you move in group, be wise. Again, men don’t always fancy ladies that move around in group because most ladies can only be reasonable when you separate them from their group of friends.
10. You Give Everything Out During Dating – As a single lady who has not been taken to the altar, you need to reserve some things for your husband to be, especially your body, respect it and preserve it at all cost. In the past, men rushed to marry to get certain things or privileges they had been constantly denied while being single. Such privileges include and not limited to: constant sex and companionship, good food and tidied home, etc. But today, a single man gets even the best and of course more of constant sex, good food and excellent home-keeping more than his married counterparts, so tell me how the hell you want him to desire to marry you when you have given him virtually everything he desires from a wife while being his girlfriend? And the most painful part of it all is that he knows that you are prepared to cut down on sex supply, cooking, home-keeping, etc once he marries you, so why would he not want you to remain his girlfriend for life?
For instance, everywhere you go today, you hear majority of single ladies crying that they won’t be a cook for their husbands, that their husband must know how to cook and must be participating equally in cooking and home-keeping, that they cannot marry a man who cannot cook or keep the home clean and all of that, but these single ladies are doing these things happily for their boyfriends and perceived fiancés without complain, but they keep complaining that they won’t do it when they finally marry, and the single men are hearing all these.
Now, a particular single man has three to four girlfriends who comes and cook, clean the house for him happily, and they also supply him with constant sex even when he doesn’t ask, and he is aware that once he marries any of them, she would stop or reduce the rate at which she cooks for him and would want him to be participating in the cooking, say; 60-40% of the time, and he knows too that if he marries any of them, she would start to deny him sex whenever she deems fit in the name of ‘I’m not in the mood’ or ‘I’m exhausted at work or business’ etc, but she was never tired to do any of the aforementioned things while dating the man, so tell me sincerely, how do we expect single men of today to still desire to marry like their fathers and forefathers desired to marry, with all these shabby scenarios surrounding our today ladies?
11. You Package Yourself Wrongly – in your attempt to look sexy, adorable and maybe appealing to guys, you have derailed from appealing to appalling. In fact you look more whorish than modest; more distractive than attractive, and more disgusting than adorable. Your dressing style determines who gets attracted to you most times. If you dress high school, only high school-thinking guys will be attracted to you, and if you dress excessively sexy and provocative, only randy men will come to you for urgent satisfaction of their immediate sex urge, so don’t be fooled by media hyping of certain kinds of dressing, they are meant for certain set of ladies you wouldn’t like to be associated with, be careful. Remember, not all clothes that look sexy are good for a seriously searching for a soul mate single lady.
12. You Lack Manner, Character, Wisdom and Good Home Upbringing – definitely, your ‘hot girl’, ‘pretty girl’, ‘sexy girl’ looks will win you so many men; both the good, and the bad, but your inner beauty, your character and manner are the things that will determine whether any of those men would stay or run after accomplishing their evil missions. In order words, do away with nagging, being possessive, challenging with men in negative ways, the mentality of ‘what a man can do a woman can do better’, a lie devil has used to deceive and destroy so many ladies today, please do away with it.
13. You Are A Liability – in as much as we know that the present economy of Zambia and the world in general is harsh, men and society in general careless about how you react to this situation, how do I mean? Read on.
You are from a poor family background, and you have no job or you are earning below $1000 a month but you want to wear designer clothes, shoes, jewelry, perfume and also carry Prada and Gucci hand bags. You want to use the most expensive gadgets- mobile phones, pads, etc. you are from a poor family background, or average family, etc is not a justifiable reason for you to be depending on men for virtually everything you need in life. Show yourself some respect.
And don’t think you can split your exorbitant expenses amongst different men, by dating different men so that you won’t be demanding from that one you truly love amongst them, so that he will be convinced that you are a good girl who doesn’t demand, fallacy! A man knows when his woman is sleeping around with other men to meet her needs, most men only decide to keep mute for reasons, don’t get it twisted, but hardly will they marry you- that’s why you see a lot of pretty ladies complain; “after giving him my love, my body, my heart, and did everything for him, etc, he paid me back with heartbreak, God will punish him, blah, blah, blah” says who? Of course you don’t expect a man in his rightful senses to marry an unrepentant whore, do you? Would you welcome your own brother bringing home a playgirl as his would-be wife, be honest please?
There are zillions of decent and honorable things you can do as a single lady to at least meet your own financial needs without sleeping around with men or depending on one man to supply all your needs. Finally, cut your skirt according to your length. You are from a poor family, your parents earn below $3000 a month, but you want to look like Rihanna, wear the same clothe she wears, you want to live a similar life Beyonce, Genevieve and Tiwa Savage lives, and you want to dine in the costliest hotels and restaurants, and you are jobless or earning below $2000 a month. Now tell me sincerely, how is it possible to achieve this foolish goal without patronizing immoral lifestyle to meet the insatiable demands?
14. Your Role Models Are Totally Strange And Bad! If you want to be a great woman tomorrow, start now to emulate great women- study their foot parts, their lifestyle, their ways and try to inculcate their lifestyle into yours. Stop looking up to music stars and fake celebrity ladies, etc as your only role model in life. What happened to looking up to women like- Margaret Mwanakatwe, Hilary Clinton, Michele Obama, etc?
Stop gluing your eyes on fashion TV, Fashion One, Big Brother TV Show, E! etc, and start now to build interest in economy issues, current affairs, economy and business news, watch more of CNN, National Geographic channel, Channels TV, ESPN, Discovery World, Animal Planet, Aljazeera TV, Super Sports, etc, these are what men love to see women do cos only a handful of women show interest in these, and those few women are those ones that end up being great women in future. Movie Magic, Africa Magic will only inculcate bad habit, poor manner and laziness in you, please wake up before you end up single for life, which I pray not.
Edward Mukuka
Posted by
nok
November 3, 2012 at 10:50 am
A must read for every lady for owesome article
Natasha
November 3, 2012 at 3:10 pm
Great article and I hope single ladies out there can learn something from this.
Brainee
November 4, 2012 at 1:35 pm
Well researched piece of paper and depicts almost the real issues which inhibits ladies from marrying.
jie
November 4, 2012 at 11:39 pm
Margaret used to f**k RB at campus for her up keep way back in the 80′s.
izubu
November 6, 2012 at 12:52 pm
im not so much into commenting on stories posted here but on this one i will say; ‘its the best article on tumfweko’ ladies wake up!!!
kabunda
December 19, 2012 at 6:02 am
You are a fool
EBENEZER ZILE MUTOLOKI
November 7, 2012 at 8:54 pm
u re right
EBENEZER ZILE MUTOLOKI
November 7, 2012 at 8:55 pm
funny
Flames
November 8, 2012 at 8:18 am
For once this is the only article thats worth spending my time reading. big picks to the writer.
tii
November 9, 2012 at 12:16 pm
there is a certain type like the one that you have explained that can never get married.And to tell you the truth such women you have talked about are found in bars and certain other bad places. Look in the right place and you will find a good woman.Men should also change there attitudes and stop cheating on women and respect them just for once without treating them like their servants or mops.
Believer
November 9, 2012 at 4:41 pm
First of all, the factors raised above are accurate.
There is another aspect that the author has left out. There are women who are morally upright, good character, hardworking and focused in life but will never get married because they are learned, earn big bucks and are considered a threat to the male ego. Such women earned their positions and big bucks through honest, professional hard work. Men do not consider themselves as measuring up to the standard of such women. I know most men will not openly agree with me on this point but it is a fact. Admittedly the proportion of such women is low but increasing in Zambia – look at the number of women CEO in the insurance and banking sector for instance. For example how many Zambian men would have the guts to propose and marry Dambisa Moyo who has made it big at the international level? 99% of the men in Zambia would disqualify themselves as not measuring up to her standard and hide behind a mirade of excuses such as she does not want blacks or Zambian men or she looks down upon Africans, etc. Yet if one had to interview those making such excuses, you will find 100% that none of them would have the guts to even raise the topic of romance with the girl.
KKK
November 27, 2012 at 2:28 pm
Give me her number
kabunda
December 19, 2012 at 6:17 am
Thank you @ Believer for being objetive unlike most of the other bloggers who only have “one eye” Gone are the days when womenn used to worhip their husbands. Women are now able to chose there paths in life.
Most of the married women are living in hell.There husbands cheat on them and have never even said anything nice to them.
My friends husband was always drunk whether at home or work.He always called her names and never ever respected her.
She finally left him and has been living happily. mwaba utuntu ubunono
Yello
January 4, 2013 at 12:36 pm
Please give me the number for such a lady so that I marry her asap. Am tired of parasites and hypocrites. I need an independent woman.
Umuntu
November 12, 2012 at 8:45 am
I totally agree, in a relationship most women will offer unlimited sex and yet when they get married they give excuses and that is why you have alot of men walking out of marriages to look for other women. Its appalling and unbeleivable. They are full of excuses when it comes to sex even when you do evertything for them. I am tired, I am not in the mood, Im exhausted even just to talk and romance. This world is cruel. If there was a way I would rather have a girlfriend because services are unlimited. This is the reality of this world.
NDIYO ZO PULAMA
November 12, 2012 at 1:15 pm
Ba gelo i hope mwaumfwa
geto babe
November 12, 2012 at 1:59 pm
wat kind of rubish.then wat do u want to make of a woman,if she stats waching.current affairs, economy and business news, watch more of CNN, National Geographic channel, Channels TV, ESPN, Discovery World, Animal Planet, Aljazeera TV, Super Sports.wat wii a man woch.if i stop socializing wat will i be doing wen he is at the bar drinkin.why shud a woman be lukd at as a slave.
maguys
November 14, 2012 at 12:18 pm
A well researched article befitting our rotten generation which embraces anything from the western culture,ladies listen
Kalembeni Kathawe
November 21, 2012 at 11:10 am
The problem with Zambian women is that they copping certain culture that does not exist.
j
November 22, 2012 at 12:37 pm
You are right,100%
victim zambian
November 22, 2012 at 3:57 pm
just accept it. for new culture. whether one likes it or not, it has come to stay.WOE or OTHERWISE.
Chanda
November 22, 2012 at 4:50 pm
We need more of such articles. “Umu chinshi wa nganda mwanwkashi wa pa nganda uku yi chindika mu misango” Great song, it defines a woman.In short a woman has great influence in moral direction of society. Women you are that important. I cherish you so much.
Teleshi Kabemba
November 23, 2012 at 12:19 pm
Imisango yakukopa kufyalo fya ukunse efilenga bana mayo ukukana upwa bwangu munshila eyabololoke.(culture from outside has contributed)
lina
December 10, 2012 at 10:14 am
Have you reseached on what a woman wants in a man?This is a free wolrd.Men cheat when they marry what do they look for? Rather be single than be somebody’s slave.
chuulu
January 2, 2013 at 6:43 pm
Ba sikana pa zed mwa nyanya ku konkeleza ma naija babes mu ma flilimu na ku funa kunkala ma diva.
Honest woman
December 12, 2012 at 10:50 am
Hey Edward Mukuka you sent me rolling with laughter. Never had the chance to peruse your post, till now! Like for instance you do not like to be challenged. And I for one do love a challenge.(lol) Okay, you could have been spot on, but men have their faults too! Somehow I think you spoke your mind. You do not like such ladies as you wrote about. Listen, like most men are cheats, some women are materialistic too. Who wants to be stuck with a poverty stricken man, who won’t work to better ‘hisself’ huh??? Note that people change with age, responsibilities etc. Whatever the woman could have exhibited in their single days, can change. Like if they ate meat everyday, before marriage, when they marry get kids, they would have to adjust, know what I am saying? Responsibility changes fellows, be it a man or woman! In any case there is no ‘perfecto’, you just have to learn to live with the changing times.
baba
December 19, 2012 at 6:25 am
Honest woman thank you. This was really the authors opinion. Iwe Edward Mukuka you sound angry. I can bet you that your wife is one very sad woman.
fernadezi
December 15, 2012 at 10:21 am
its worth while to read minds of people, changing of time cannot be the aspect reliably thought to affect Man’s behaviour, character, duty, aproch and atitude. For man does not have athority over weather or passing of time, but over fiction of tempral achievements, fashion, welthy and not being the real u.
Melissah
December 28, 2012 at 2:30 pm
I really appreciate the msg to us ladies. Only the wise ll take the message and the silly will leave. May God continue blessing you with the sharing spirit.
Big up to you man.
Find your love dating site
December 29, 2012 at 1:12 pm
I take pleasure in, cause I found just what I used to be looking for. You’ve ended my 4 day long hunt! God Bless you man. Have a nice day. Bye
Matrix Reloaded
December 29, 2012 at 9:35 pm
Ndeloleshafye… but its true! and i ahve seen it! The behavious expressed in this Article coused my cousin to marry a a wrong person coz of no time! The Super guy she married was a fake rich dealer. hahahaha
DorianGray
December 31, 2012 at 1:53 pm
As a guy i want to say this is utter nonsense and a very ridiculous generalization of men and/or women.
Mute
January 2, 2013 at 8:56 am
Great article very well reserched
lumpen
January 2, 2013 at 3:13 pm
and men get irritated with text like:( can i cum. see you 2mao.) ****** text by ladies
BANA KULU
January 3, 2013 at 3:01 pm
LADIES BE YOURSELF, BE UNIQUE, DO NOT COMPARE WITH OTHER PEOPLE, BE NATURAL, KEEP INTAMBI
big mich
January 4, 2013 at 12:02 pm
lol.