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Lusaka Husband Tells Court ‘She Puts Blanket In-Between to Avoid Sex’
By KAPALA CHISUNKA
A 31–YEAR-OLD man of Chirundu Town narrated to the Lusaka Boma Court how his wife’s deliberate decision to sexually starve him for three years led him into another woman’s bed.
Aneil Banda told senior court magistrate Mable Mwaba that it was almost impossible to have sex with his wife, Jane Phiri because she denied him his conjugal rights and would instead put blankets in between them in bed to prevent him from touching her.
This was heard in a case in which Phiri, 21, of Arakan Barracks sued her husband Banda for divorce. The two got married in 2009 and have no children together.
But Phiri told the court that Banda’s biggest problem was infidelity; a situation she said had brought sexually transmitted infections (STIs) into their home.
However, passing judgment, the court granted divorce and ordered Banda to pay Phiri KR4,000 as compensation.
Banda told the court that although they had been having problems for a long, their marriage took a nose-dive early 2011.
“We had a fight that night and she boldly told me that we should stop having sex for as long as was necessary and that I should inform our relatives about that situation as though I am the one who had made that decision,” he said.
Banda said he thought she only said that because she was upset, but it turned out she was serious about her decision. He said they went for days sharing the same bed but without having sex.
He said after a while he could not contain his urge for sex and would try to force himself on his wife for relief but she would adamantly refuse.
“She then brought in the idea of using different beddings on the same bed just to make sure I did not touch her. I complained to her that it was not fair and that I needed to ease my sexual desire on her but she did not succumb.
How were we supposed to have children when we were not having sexual relations, especially, that the situation went on for three years? Sex is an extremely important component of marriage, otherwise people would not marry,” he said.
Banda said he decided to inform both relatives about his wife’s behaviour but nothing was done especially, from Phiri’s side to try and rectify the situation.
He said she then asked him to stop pestering her relatives with trivial matters and instead ‘advised’ that he finds sexual relief from other women who were willing to share their bed with him.
“And that is exactly what I did; I met another woman whom I have since impregnated because I was not a happy man and husband for a long time in our marriage. Our relatives knew about my problem because I had travelled several times to Lusaka to complain,” Banda said.
He said when Phiri found out about the development, she packed everything in their home and asked him to take her back to her parents’ home. Banda said a few weeks later she sued him for marriage reconciliation but the court failed to reconcile them and advised them to instead sue for divorce.
But in her statement, Phiri said the major problem in their marriage was that Banda was a womaniser. She said she had never in the time they have been married denied him his conjugal rights.
“In fact he is the one who used to deny me my conjugal rights because he had sores on his private parts. I asked him several times to have them checked but he insisted that the doctors told him it was normal for men to have sores once in a while.
Every time I tried to touch him, he would say he was advised to refrain from sexual activities to allow the sores to heal,” she said.
Phiri said Banda has had affairs with four different women in all the four years they have been married. She said Banda was also a jealous man yet he was the one with a womanising problem.
“I now hear that he is married to the same woman who is pregnant. So, all I want now is a divorce, because I do not love him anymore, though I want him to give me money for business because he made me stop work when we were getting married,” she said.
Passing judgment, the court after reprimanding the couple granted divorce citing denial of conjugal rights. The court ordered Banda to pay Phiri KR4,000 with an initial first instalment of KR1,000 April monthend to be followed by KR300 monthly.
The court also ordered the couple to share equally property acquired together.
Posted by Editor
on April 13, 2013. Filed under LIFE & STYLE, STYLE.
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glanza
April 12, 2013 at 5:19 pm
Toyota glanza manual for quick sale……going only at KR17,000…..if intrested plz calll us on 0973256222 o 0977535351…….
Chaudry
April 13, 2013 at 6:29 pm
What is the mileage?
Raid di barn
April 13, 2013 at 4:59 pm
@glanza, is the toyota one of the properties the couple in the article are to share…
chanda emma
April 13, 2013 at 5:03 pm
please let us comment on the above situation not on your advert be serious ba glanza
MARIA
April 13, 2013 at 5:04 pm
Mwalichilamo imwe ama zambian men,Ba tombela kwipaya imwe,give yr wives a break,you screw like its yr last day on earth,tomorrow is another day ba ntombela kufwa imwe!
Munyelo Pwete!
April 13, 2013 at 5:32 pm
Your penis must be very blunt! How do you fail to go through the blanket!
Ba game
April 13, 2013 at 6:33 pm
@glanza boi am intrested in yo car bt iz it negtiateble ?
Scotch
April 13, 2013 at 7:02 pm
Sam readys r foolish.denying sex 2 a man is lyk teasing.i dnt blame the man
Chaudry
April 13, 2013 at 7:08 pm
About the sore? That can be normal if not circumcised. They appear like red dots on the glans for a few days or so and disappear thereafter. Nothing to mean harm. That is if. That is if they appear like tiny, aout less than 1mm sized bumps that are red and slightly raised. They usually show up on my glans suddenly, the they subside, but later on they always come back. I got tested right when the first few bumps appeared but I was negative for herpes and HIV, and the Doc said it was normal. The bumps seem to be the worst while I have an erection.
I think, I should stick to negotiating for the planza. This is too tough! The woman has already gone, so it is pointless… Women can be very complicated at thirty one!
@planza, I need the answer pronto!
Scotch
April 13, 2013 at 7:09 pm
the lady ws ****** and useless.it shd b a lessorn 2 u ladies,u lyk appearing 2 b starrings alot by teazing men.a man shd alwys b respectd and a lady shd alwys remain submissive.men r strongest beings who deserve all respect and shd spearhead anythng in ths world
kapoko
April 13, 2013 at 7:39 pm
The lady was only being safety concious, chi Banda si chimvela, he was dating 4 women.
weak soldier
April 13, 2013 at 8:45 pm
Man is an idyoti. You mean he couldn’t overcome the blanket?
mm
April 13, 2013 at 11:04 pm
@scotch,”sam readys”go back to school.u r not different from the couples on muvi tv R4M.@chaudry. Who cares wheather u r positive or u hav syphillis,its your damn life.
Golden Boy
April 13, 2013 at 11:30 pm
I was the best man of this wedding its sad only too read of the cheering and gruesome details on tumfweko. I will need to follow up, very disappointed and sad for my friend too young to be divorcing.
Genaro the Analyst
April 14, 2013 at 1:05 am
Banda ana pwalala he shud have weakenedup in court if he was to win full custody of the property instead chi nama at refusal of conjugal rights when you re already tired from hamping other women…vaububa..you shud be circumcised alive. Analyze shariya law
Scotch
April 14, 2013 at 4:21 am
@mm,am currently doing ma honours Degree in MLS at 1 of the best Universities in Africa,COM. Tel me wat u do currently.
Bwebwebwe
April 14, 2013 at 6:03 am
She is devorcing @ 21? Got married 4 yrs ago?
No wonder it could’nt work out. The guy married an immature woman.
Ba Banda naimwe mubucenda tamwaba gain. Your only price is diseases, unwanted pregnancy, marital problems etc. Grow up man.
mm
April 14, 2013 at 6:39 am
@scotch,no wonder we have dull people as bosses.u say u r at a university n u can’t spell lady! What a shame.as 4 me,it won’t make any differnce even if u know what i do.
The Big
April 14, 2013 at 6:45 am
My advice to some people on this blog is to improve their written english. Honestly how can some one say “readys” instead of “ladies”.
UNLOVELYMETAL
April 14, 2013 at 11:43 am
She’s 21, and they got married 4 years ago, when she was 17 and he was 27. Stop marrying small girls, let them get educated. @ 27 you should have gone for some one your own age *****!
xilai
April 14, 2013 at 12:33 pm
Am not educated but i know how to spell ‘ladies’.
Chilipamzako
April 14, 2013 at 4:39 pm
My wife is also not giving sex. She has been refusing for 3 weeks now. I ‘ve told her dat I will find a girl friend shud she continue with da behaviour. We ve bin married for10 yrs now & we ‘ve kids. I ‘ve sent her to college were she is doing nursing but wen she came back her behaviour has changed towards sex. Shud I be blamed if I stop paying 4 her tuition fees & find a girl friend?
THE SHIELD
April 14, 2013 at 11:19 pm
Ci maria.ulenashako fimasele Cintu chobe
Jones Simukoko
April 16, 2013 at 11:34 am
I love internet service.