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Starving Your Spouse In Bed?
Dear Tumfweko Readers,
I’m 32 years old lady, married to the man who is 8 years older than me and we have three children. We have been in marriage for 11 years now. When we just married we used to live very well with my husband. But when we had our third born, things started changing.
Whenever we had a difference in home my husband started refusing speaking to me. When I’ asked him as to why he was doing that, he couldn’t give me the proper answer. I’ became upset and decided to shift from the main bedroom into a spare Room. Later he asked me to go back to the main bedroom. But as I was still furious over his behavior. I’ told him to give me time.
He would often come to ask me for bed issues, but I’ used to refuse, I could tell I wasn’t feeling so well. The reason was simply that I was upset with just what he did. This time I decided to go back to the main bedroom but he has also opted to move into a spare bedroom where I was sleeping. He has told me that I should continue wearing Cyclin Shorts when sleeping or look for Mr. Right,
But there are rumors that he is going out with someone within the locality and he is intending to marry her. T though I have no proof on that. He remained sleeping in the spare room. What could be the best thing I should do? Please help me.
Confused Lusaka Lady
Posted by
cindy
October 28, 2013 at 8:26 pm
@ndati..if your wife’s discharge has a foul smell,it means she has an STD ..however, the white. Discharge is normal ..the vagina is a self cleaning oven..take your wife to the doctor s office for screening ..it might be an Std
insulter for innocent lives mangwalala
October 28, 2013 at 9:01 pm
Open your vagina widely for him to enjoy sex & you must leak each others organs.
seanj
October 29, 2013 at 9:49 am
am a man & i can do exactly the same..even me wen my wife stavs me, i seek refuge
Faraja Chiti Subira
October 28, 2013 at 9:13 pm
Pliz,pliz my dear sister u hv made a mistake 2 take the matter 2 this website,the first pson knw yo prblm was 2b the shibukombe coz yo family and yo hsband’s family trust more than yo elder yo pastor in the church,dear sis yo education,money,status of yo family has nothing 2 do wth marriage.humble yoself b4 yo hsband beg him 2 4gv u,cry on yo knees put aside yo pride.never punish yo hsband by denying him sex communication is the solution 2 any prblm
mbobokama
October 28, 2013 at 10:01 pm
iliko bad anywai waitaya to bring such issues pa tumfweko. you made a mistake by shifting to the spare beadroom; you husband came to plead with you but you ignored him and now it is your turn to pleade hard. may be open ur legs wide and fu****k him had.
cassonova
October 28, 2013 at 10:02 pm
My wife did the same and I ended up finding comfort in a young workmate of mine coz she noticed I wasn’t a happy man,so she treated me nicely en gave me wat I was denied.when the wife found out she almost stabbed me tht I ws cheating on her.like seriously??
MUBOBO
October 28, 2013 at 10:15 pm
BUT ZOOONA MULI CIPUBA MAYO HOW CAN YOU DECIDE TO PLAY 50,50 WITH A MAN ANYWAY CONTINUE MAYBE HE MIGHT CHANGE HIS MIND IF AT HE DOESN’T HAVE A SIDE PLATE
EAT ZAMBIA CLEAN
October 28, 2013 at 10:31 pm
A house of fouls, Kindly ask God to come in your marriage.
edwin
October 28, 2013 at 10:41 pm
I wish I could give advice to directly ,but all the same I will try here
1.swallow your pride ,go down on your knees and ask him to forgive you.
2.please letter it come from your heart.
3.all this should make you know that played a part in that problem and no outsider would solve that matter but the two of you.
Richman
October 28, 2013 at 10:49 pm
3 children in mariege is not a joke. U guys ought to b fuly matured by now most especialy th lady and as such certain bhaviours shud b avoided @ all cost. My best advice 2 th both of U is, go back to th roots of yo mariege(foundation).
Before there ws love in yo mariege nd now U think he doesnt luv U bcoz U hav lost it somhow. My msg to U is he stil loves U, Just do those things U were taught b4 U enterd into yo mariege. Be tender wth hm nd show absolut obidience nd repentance. All is well jst trust in th Lord, yo mariege is not yet broken. 4get about yo other suspicions. Wht U need is revival in yo mariege.
edwin
October 28, 2013 at 10:58 pm
I wish I could give advice to directly ,but all the same I will try here
1.swallow your pride ,go down on your knees and ask him to forgive you.
2.please let it come from your heart.
3.all this should make you know that played a part in that problem and no outsider would solve that matter but the two of you.May God speak in this marriage in Jesus name.
kakolwe
October 29, 2013 at 6:05 am
This is the best site mwandi! Most church people will not tell you like it is. Truth is, if he tasted a sweeter fruit elsewhere, he will return to it anyhow. Soon you will be endorsing polygamy. Its irreversible!!!!
Bad influence
October 29, 2013 at 6:15 am
U deserve it
ba kabadi
October 29, 2013 at 7:23 am
@ndati. the white stufg u see after sex is your sperm
LONER
October 29, 2013 at 8:47 am
SHE IS JUST A BEACH
Umwina Nswi
October 29, 2013 at 9:59 am
Express your feelings fully to him. Let him understand why you decided to give him a break on bed issues. It’s possible that he may have started suspecting u of having an extramarital affair which has the potential for him to lose sexual interest in u. If he fails to understand and appreciate your explanation, try to see banshi bukombe if he is nearby to interven. Probably, during the “sex drought period” the man may have developed depression which may be subtle to be noticed leading to loss of libido. Try to involve elders to help out. “Abakalamba batila ifimuti fili pamo tafibulwa ku kwesana”. This storm is a passing phase to strengthen and rejuvenate the bond of love between the two of you. I hope this is a true story!
real man
October 29, 2013 at 10:12 am
My problem is complicated,my wife en I had an argument(I told her we were not 1 cause of not having sex,going to the different churches) she got my ATM card withdrew some money,when I asked her she said,she paid herself because I had sex with her!is it right for married woman to be charging her hubby for sex when I provide everything?
Darth Vader
October 29, 2013 at 11:00 am
You married a hule my friend.
Edward Snowden
October 29, 2013 at 4:07 pm
How much does she charge? Am really interested!!!
Darth Vader
October 30, 2013 at 12:23 pm
K50.00 short time. K250.00 night out.lol
katwishi mukwai
October 29, 2013 at 11:26 am
You thought you were the only one with a nice… even married men do look for ka variety,wamona nomba,abanakashi mafi yampombo,meaning women are many,wilayumfwa
Teacher
October 29, 2013 at 11:30 am
My dear lady, a wrong never make a right.one should always humble him/herself if peace has to prevail in a home.Please apologize and if the problem continues involve the elders of the family.If this solution fails engage the church members…God bless you as you pass through this trying moment.
layzee
October 29, 2013 at 11:35 am
Umwanakashi wangalilila kuli sex tawama,its better i loose both legs n hand n remain with a penise.denying to have sex means’ go **** sumbody else ‘u r a ztupid ass *****.ubwamba nga bwaima na headace ilesa.beyotch
Amson
October 29, 2013 at 12:25 pm
Talk to your man. When i say talk i mean talking seriously. pour your heart to him if possible appologise.
haiggy
October 29, 2013 at 3:04 pm
during ovulation time women tend to produce whitish eggish staff a sign they are super charged for sex during that period. If not then she has STI and if she does then you ve STI too.
Mr wise
October 29, 2013 at 3:21 pm
@CONFUSED LUSAKA LADY, thats y u are failing to hold a marriage coz u are confused and how can we help such a confused lady.
agogo mbuye
October 29, 2013 at 3:50 pm
I have a question for both of you…What was the reason for you to enter into marriage?Think before you answer this question.The answer will help you to find a solution to your current problems in marriage.
dw
October 29, 2013 at 4:24 pm
@ ndati, tell your wife to be cleaning her private part.she shud be sitting in a bucket of water and clean that part in and out she is jst dirty but she wil b fine after doing what I hv said.
bo~!!! bo!!! bo!!!!
October 29, 2013 at 5:41 pm
ifinyo fyalowa fingi DO NOT MONOPOLISE AKANYO KOBE, even this FOOLISH OF GENDER EQUALITY, its not taking u shit girls anywher. ul keep crying until yo nyonyonyo geting roten 4 not being used
bo~!!! bo!!! bo!!!!
October 29, 2013 at 5:42 pm
i wanted 2 say ‘FOOLISH THING OF GENDER EQUALITY’
ok
October 29, 2013 at 8:23 pm
How did u get married him? Friend this is what with pride
kayk
October 29, 2013 at 11:07 pm
my dear never get advise using the media. Eg fac, tumfweko etc. Cause a few would say reasonable things that can build but instead desploy. My dear, just apologise to your husband and tell him what really lead you to doing such a thing. Seek advise from a pastor or even elders. Not here my dear. I repeat and I rest my case.
innocent M Njamba
October 30, 2013 at 7:19 am
It might not be so ease for him dump the lady that helped him during the time you were starving him, but be ready to share him with her till he finds grounds to stop his forced affair.
nyengani epoytwamona twasomeka sinyenga
October 30, 2013 at 3:07 pm
Post ur contact number I mighty help also starving
chaima
October 31, 2013 at 8:07 am
This is not a true story. Men, are very wise. Most of them have, yes faced such challenges in their married lives and someome posted this matter onto the blog, in order to be assisted. Fellow blogers, I salute you for exhaustively commenting on this issue. Most wives have this foolish attitude but in the end, they r losers. I go to clans and devil street if she becomes funy. Sex there is automatic. Why shud I be pleading with my own wife, with 3 children? Atase! Ichikote. Shame if u lady are true.
anthony chisanga
October 31, 2013 at 10:35 am
Ta chaba ni ntambi umwanakashi atemwa umwaume ukufuma ku MASTER BED ROOM ukuya mukulala kumbi mulandu nefyupo filapwa eico imwe babili muleke ifyo mulecita . meaning ya chupo kubapamo umulume nomukashi ukula tombana lyonse ilyo mulekabila tekula kana icikanekane no kusosa pantu nalifulwa uyo mulandu mwikabwekeshapo bonse.
anthony chisanga
October 31, 2013 at 11:07 am
Rea mam you are not married and that what you call marriage it is not.