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My Wife Is Pregnant For Another Man Because I am Now Paralysed

Dear Editor,

I am a male teacher. I married my wife who is a house wife in 1998 and together we have 3 kids. I have had a problem after I suffered a stroke in 2008, and got paralysed from the waist going downwards. As a result I cannot function by bedroom duties at all. I am unable to have sex with my wife- not even for a milli-second. For five (5) years now I have had no sexual relation with my wife because i am unable to function even though I want to.
Now the issue is that in 2013 last year, I discovered my wife had been cheating on me. She is currently 6-month pregnant for my friend (not a teacher). What should I do? To sue or forgive my friend who says was trying to help me to avoid my wife divorce me? Divorce or forgive my wife who says she got pregnant because I was not doing my job and that was an alternative. I still love my wife and she says she loves me too only that it is circumstances. I want we keep kids together but I am in an arkward situation as I have become a laughing stock in the the compound for things beyond my control. I am told by some people to divorce her and that it is my fault to have allowed it to happen. How true? But if I dont divorce her for how long will she stay without sex from me or other men. Or is there anything else I can do to keep her busy as a wife? ADVISE!
NAME WITH-HELD
Note: ARTICLE EDITED FOR CLARITY

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Posted by on March 27, 2014. Filed under STYLE. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

56 Responses to My Wife Is Pregnant For Another Man Because I am Now Paralysed

  1. Surprised Zambian Reply

    March 27, 2014 at 3:22 pm

    When she said for better or for worse, which worse situation did she mean? Truth, no man or woman can die if they do not have sex. She is unfaithful, but the choice to forgive or divorce is yours to make.

  2. bushfather Reply

    March 27, 2014 at 3:30 pm

    its unfortunate my bro.there is nothing she can do to control her sexual feels.The best is to
    divorces her bcoz she kill u as u may b a barrel to enjoyment

    • The young engineers in zambia Reply

      March 27, 2014 at 4:56 pm

      man divorce her,if not you will die so soon

  3. Apopene Nalasa Reply

    March 27, 2014 at 3:32 pm

    my brother u are really in a tricky situation.

  4. mr nice Reply

    March 27, 2014 at 3:41 pm

    if thats the case he wanted to help u in the name of serving yo marriage that means he’l keep on helping until when if u’l get well,as for your wife she is just taking an advantage and she’l keep on opening her legs, next tme its the other frend of yoz coz to the look of things she cant live without sex,divorce is one’s decision!

  5. maybin mpundu Reply

    March 27, 2014 at 3:45 pm

    Divose her nothing else

  6. maybin mpundu Reply

    March 27, 2014 at 3:49 pm

    Look that wife of urs does not love you and the pregnant shows that she cn’t stay with u anymore……so divo

  7. Big PM Reply

    March 27, 2014 at 4:03 pm

    Too bad. Keeping her around you will not cease her sex drive. She is sexually active under what she will be doing it, and that will see you to the after life before your time.If she says she loves you she lied, she was suppose to tell you her feelings since you can’t perform any longer.there is no justification of staying togather in the name of keeping children. behind your back she has started increasing the family,which eye are you going to give that bastard. Its your choice to choose. Seek Gods guidance before you decide in your dilemma.

  8. teckson nyirongo Reply

    March 27, 2014 at 4:31 pm

    U hav a life to live, it was not your fault to be sick but her fault to commit adultery. U and yo wife need help from God the creator. Engage yo pastor together and be counselled with her b4 making any move.

  9. Fiction Reply

    March 27, 2014 at 4:46 pm

    sounds fictious

  10. expert Reply

    March 27, 2014 at 4:47 pm

    I pray the Lord will guide you and comfort you in this trying moment.

  11. Maiko Reply

    March 27, 2014 at 4:49 pm

    Divorce her now! That woman does not love you. Shes just waiting for you to die so she can get your ‘Teacher’ money and continue to enjoy with your friend. Wake up man divorce this grade 7 now!!

    • iyeeeeeeeee Reply

      March 27, 2014 at 5:17 pm

      Kwati pali notundalama bakwata ba-teacher bansala babikapo na impotence. Kuti babafye mukwai!

      • me Reply

        March 28, 2014 at 8:46 am

        How can you say such things to someone who is in that condition. Surely u are insensitive and selfish. The issue is not about teachers’ moneys, it is about helping that gentleman who is in that condition. Imagine it was you, what would you do, how would u feel?

      • zambian Reply

        March 28, 2014 at 9:15 am

        @ iyeeeee! wat kind of a human being are you, do u think this issue is about money. I thought sucide bombers are useless. Boy you are mo useless. I wonder how much money you hav yourself!!

  12. moojo Reply

    March 27, 2014 at 5:14 pm

    Go to TB Joshua for divine healing

    • iyeeeeeeeee Reply

      March 27, 2014 at 5:19 pm

      tb.joshua litole fye, tapa nefya bu divine apa. He is just a con-man that knows the bible well. Elyo bible yakaena.. yaliteka abantu infine.

      • msh Reply

        March 31, 2014 at 9:04 am

        iwe iyeeee or ndani uzi kamba bwino nichani kansi ni chifukwa cha bantu monga iwe che bantu sibakambila mavuto yabo ngati tb joshua ni tole iwe ndiwe ndani uganiza monga ndiwe mulungu bluly nyama iwe

  13. ts Reply

    March 27, 2014 at 6:01 pm

    Guys when commenting, do not insult innocent people like TBJoshua. If you have nothing to comment keep quit and you will loose nothing. GOD hates sinners. You just sinning before GOD.

    For your own info TBJoshua is just doing GOD’s work and you are not insulting him,you insulting the owner of the job he is doing and that’s GOD.

  14. mwamba mutale Reply

    March 27, 2014 at 6:20 pm

    For better for worse is the best answer. The woman even went further to toment yu by getting pregnant.

  15. rey Reply

    March 27, 2014 at 6:37 pm

    Do what your mind tells you

  16. Fc Banda Reply

    March 27, 2014 at 8:47 pm

    Ubuchende epela ya chupo efyo baibolo yilanda uyo napanga ubuchende tontokanyapo boi

  17. Chris chinsimbi Reply

    March 27, 2014 at 9:21 pm

    God is a respecter of covenants but if one of those in the covenant breaks it God has no choice to free the other one from that covenant. It is now up to you brother to go back to your partner and make a new covenant remember as at now there is no covenant it ended when your wife went outside, two men can never be one fresh with one woman.

  18. patrick Reply

    March 27, 2014 at 9:23 pm

    God in the bible said if anyone leaves his/ her spouse for no reason sinned against God. unless someone commits adultary has the right to divoc.my brother in this case ur wife sinned against u nd God. even brot shame upon ur life nd ur family.she diserv to b divocd period b4 its too late bcoz atlast u ll regret.if u dnt awe ninshi balimilisha. My adivse is do all u cn within ur power to raise money nd travel to Nigeria nd c the man of God tb joshua he ll help u restore ur childless.we hv o witnessed many miracls such as yours.i also invite u to watch alwayz emmanuel tv der u ll reciev ur miracles in jesus’ name take my adivse seriously.God bless u nd put she devil ur wife to shame.

  19. walya Reply

    March 28, 2014 at 1:44 am

    4give ha, let ha get 1% on yo will then once u ve recovered, start an affair with ha sister

    • Trixy Reply

      March 28, 2014 at 11:22 am

      What an advise!!!!

  20. TOYOTA SPACIO COLLORA Reply

    March 28, 2014 at 7:08 am

    typing…….

  21. TOYOTA SPACIO COLLORA Reply

    March 28, 2014 at 7:11 am

    loading………

  22. kakolwe Reply

    March 28, 2014 at 7:11 am

    BA teacher Imwe, what will yo children lack if you let go of your adulterous wife? Am sure it just you who needs her bathing skills. So LIVE WITH IT!!

  23. TOYOTA SPACIO COLLORA Reply

    March 28, 2014 at 7:13 am

    error!

  24. Wilson Reply

    March 28, 2014 at 7:19 am

    My brother never you listen to the devil. He is a liar. The solution is there go for prayers you will be ok and continue your relationship with your wife.

  25. muka Reply

    March 28, 2014 at 7:42 am

    my guy let her go and fulfill her sexual pleasures and let go of the *****!! moreover u may not even know how many fathers that pregnancy has, it may be more than 10 – 15

  26. Divorce Reply

    March 28, 2014 at 8:21 am

    Before your wife became pregnant,she committed adultery, which is a valid ground for divorce. She will kill you.

  27. T.K Reply

    March 28, 2014 at 8:25 am

    The best thing to do is to seek God’s guidance and other well wishers from Church point of view.Then as an individual you will make a decision based on those people.
    I know it is very painful to see and hear about that.Let GOD give you the much needed strength.I know you are being tormented in and out everyday.BE STRONG IT HAPPENS AND THAT IS PART OF LIFE.

  28. Golden vessel Reply

    March 28, 2014 at 9:03 am

    Issues of the heart are critical. Cry out to God for help, He says He will never leave you nor forsake you. As for your wife seek the council of a true man of God. How i pray that God gives you the strength to live on. It is not easy at all.

  29. mapolopoto Reply

    March 28, 2014 at 9:50 am

    VAGINA YALEBABA

  30. mwine mushi Reply

    March 28, 2014 at 10:10 am

    @ mapolopoto nga ndimwe sembe na batatu banabadwa muli five years.

  31. chumbu Reply

    March 28, 2014 at 10:16 am

    Seek Gods intervention before you make any decision. God will always provide you with a solution.

  32. Trixy Reply

    March 28, 2014 at 11:45 am

    I really feel for this man. Surely this woman is heartless…what this man is going through is already too much as it is, but to get pregnant outside her marriage. Shame man. My advise is that he should seek the face of God and go for intense prayers. We serve a living God and nothing is impossible with God. Who knows he might get a miraculous healing!!

    If you ask me, I think it is better he divorces this woman. What she did has proved that she cannot be trusted. A friend indeed is a friend in need….How can she do such a thing to her own husband and a sick one for that matter??!!

  33. Judy Reply

    March 28, 2014 at 11:55 am

    I am married to a man who cannot perform for almost six years now. He developed this problem due to severe diabetes, but I am with him and I have never had sex with any other man for six years.

  34. cecil Reply

    March 28, 2014 at 12:32 pm

    Da bible allowz 2 divorve a person who has commited auderltery.So i thic jst divorce her,coz she’ll continue 2 do thingz dat ‘ll b hatin u.I kno its hard n it painz bt let go my bro.

  35. Mabvuto Reply

    March 28, 2014 at 12:46 pm

    What a friend ati “i wanted to help u so that u dnt divorce” kekekekeke did he tell his friend in advance ati boi nalayamba uku kwafwa or he helped him without his consent or approval? since wen did adultery become help?

    • Trixy Reply

      March 28, 2014 at 1:05 pm

      kekekekeke….yes since when did adultery become help?

  36. vijo vijo Reply

    March 28, 2014 at 3:13 pm

    @its…..like you comment

  37. patrick Reply

    March 28, 2014 at 3:41 pm

    ala bane u shud giv serious coment wich cn help samone,nt ama joks to sam isues like this…imagine if it wz ur wife do this to u hw ll u do…?ala ama coments yenu bamo chimofye na NO.one day it ll b U foolishi.

  38. happy people Reply

    March 28, 2014 at 9:25 pm

    But ukundwinka kwancito imwee eye

  39. jamakudi Reply

    March 28, 2014 at 11:17 pm

    This is difficult. The lady is still young and the pressure is too much mwandini. iliko tricky.

  40. AK47 Reply

    March 29, 2014 at 8:02 pm

    We shud face nature da way it is. Ths woman is a human being & has sexual feelings like anyone. Ths situation is a complicated one. Bt the best thing is 2 accept reality & divorce coz it is good 4 the man & he will soon get over it since he
    understands his disability. If he chooses 2 keep his wife he will make his situation worse coz he wil torment himself thru out his life. DIVORCE TO BE SET FREE.

  41. sunrise Reply

    March 29, 2014 at 8:12 pm

    My advice is for others who might find themselves in a similar situation. I think people can still enjoy a fulfilling sexual life without necessarily using the conventional method. There are other methods that partners can use to satisfy each others’ sexual desires. I am talking here about artificial gadgets and oral methods. Considering that the man has a problem which is not of his own making, I am sure the woman should be understanding and be able to get fulfilment through these methods. Ultimately, couples can then seek divine help and I am sure our God is a good God who litsen to our cries.

  42. chosen Reply

    March 30, 2014 at 7:14 am

    why ask when u know what u want. you want your wife bt tauletuta

  43. KIHAGA Reply

    March 30, 2014 at 4:18 pm

    dat woman can put poison in yo food so divorce her twapapata

  44. zacho Reply

    March 30, 2014 at 5:40 pm

    divorvce her nd believe me u the guy z gonna compasate u

  45. Ezemwa Reply

    March 31, 2014 at 11:32 am

    i no ma broher its difficult 2 accept da pregnace especially ilya muchende banono but sit down wit yo family nd involve yo church elderz nd councilorz so dat u come up wit da solution. dis issue is 2 big 4 u. owez pray ma brother prayer works.

  46. smart Reply

    March 31, 2014 at 11:46 am

    Its really bad but forgive her and divorce her.Then pray to God for guidance on the way forward.Or you will die of depression.

  47. achooo Reply

    March 31, 2014 at 11:53 am

    Just forgive your wife. If it was a woman who was in this situation, the man would have had five children out there. Now because its a woman…….loading…..

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