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IS IT NORMAL? My Wife Allows Her Friends To Sleep On Our Matrimonial Bed
Dear Readers,
I am a foreigner working in Kitwe, Zambia as a medical doctor. I am a 34 year old man married to a very beautiful Zambian woman aged 28, people my wife is careless and very lazy.
Some times I am forced to think that all Zambian women are the same but I must say that I have met and worked with great Zambian women who respect their culture and respect their marriages and husbands.
Imagine my wife does not do anything at home but sleeping and wanting to wear expensive clothes, she allows the maid to do everything.
The most annoying thing of all is that she allows her best female friends to sleep or have a nap on our matrimonial bed when I am at work some times even when I am around but doing research work in the other room.
On several occasions I have found her friends busy sleeping on our matrimonial bed and when I entered one day, this woman never bothered to move out of the bed and I left the bed for her and I could not rest after a hard day.
I have discussed this matter with her but she says her friend is like her relative and that they have been childhood friends for over 20 years. She says this is modern world and that I should get used with it.
People What is my wife up to, where I come from it is not allowed to allow your friend to sleep on the matrimonial bed.
I have one child with her, aged three years. I must say that my wife has bad manners, I have tried to make her very happy, buy her everything which she needs including expensive cars and clothes, the Brazilian hair, I love this woman but I don’t know why she is behaving like this.
Some times I cook for myself while she is sleeping or watching movies with her friends and drinking beer even in my bedroom.
Imagine five women sitting on the bed drinking beer like men and when I enter the main bedroom, my wife is not even moved that her husband has entered the house and the bedroom while her friends are busy drinking.
I am sponsoring her relatives to schools including universities. I have never cheated on any woman. During courtship my wife pretended to by an angel, she was a Mrs. ‘Perfect’ but this has changed, I have involved her family but nothing has changed, when I come with my work mates or visitors from my country the behavior is the same, what can I do people.
We have been married for 7 years now
Frustrated medical doctor.
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Posted by Admin
on July 16, 2012. Filed under HOT ISSUES, STYLE.
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Kapondo ka nsansa
July 16, 2012 at 4:12 pm
Just walk into the bedroom naked m.othe.rfu.cker!
crazy dude
July 16, 2012 at 4:16 pm
Since she thinks its not wrong for her friends to rest on your bed then it is not wrong to have SEX with them too.Matrimonial Bed is were you make juniors.maybe she wants you to be satisfying her frends on that bed too.
mt
July 16, 2012 at 4:18 pm
u must have picked that whore from the bar,**** them both
Eli cool
July 16, 2012 at 4:27 pm
Just sleep with all her friends..
Chuma
July 16, 2012 at 4:36 pm
Sit her down and seriously so that she does not blame u in future. That is nonsense and unheard of bibilically culturally and socially. they a demonic and seek deliverance. U a living with a demon and surrounded by them. serve your daughter run to Jesus he is the only solution. rebuke her and cover your house with the blood of Jesus. by the way a u born again christian.
knobkerie
July 16, 2012 at 4:36 pm
Fcuk your wife coz she’s just a ***** who hails straight up from the club with no sense of respect for you her husband whatsoeva.Iwe uka chishe fye icho chi mwanakashi pantu fima ule fye pamo nefi banankwe.
Musawa
July 16, 2012 at 4:43 pm
hey mister doctor you in a very sad predicament and unfortunately you love her but here’s my advice…….. take her back to her relatives see if they can pump sense into her if that doesn’t work insist she be taken 4 traditional counseling as a last resort “leave her” as i say (it’s better to live one day happy than the rest of your life miserable) its just sad that this wife of yours it painting such a bad picture for my sista’s who would love n respect you the way you deserve to be.
Kwa george
July 16, 2012 at 4:43 pm
YES. NORMALLY IT IS HARD TO SEPARATE PROSTITUTES EVEN WHEN YOU MARRY ONE OF THEM.
I THINK MORE HAPPENS AT YOUR HOME WHEN YOU ARE NOT THERE.
THE CHILD MIGHT NOT EVEN BE YOURS.
Bina.Musiyani
July 16, 2012 at 4:45 pm
leave the idoit sir! you deserve someone better.
blessed
July 16, 2012 at 4:56 pm
what a disgrace surely a matured woman whos been taught how to keep a home is seriosly spoiling our zambian culture tapitile muma funde wake up my guy chase her out of your home you deserve beter.
Seeking
July 16, 2012 at 4:59 pm
Take her to her relatives and leave her there for some 2/3 months, also withdraw your support until
she begs for forgiveness. She’s such a let down. So many of us would be dying to have a marriage like hers but…… Teach her some manners.
Nyozani
July 16, 2012 at 5:05 pm
well well well what a suprising thng m really touched as a woman that a zambian woman would want to be a white person in a black mans skin thats really ****** and uncivilised has no respect for u watsoever i personally thnk she doesnt love u but is with u for your money coz uve spoilt her with nice and expensive things enogh is enogh my dear take yo action she should knw ur a man coz sh thnks u love her to much not to move on but show ha there are better women out there wo long for men like u bt then wat she does is shameful and unspeakable i think sh so much dznt aprcte u.
............
July 16, 2012 at 5:10 pm
Is it Carolina Rodrigeze?were is she?
John BAnda
July 16, 2012 at 5:13 pm
Niwa mutaveni uyo. Leave her.
voltron
July 16, 2012 at 5:16 pm
its difficulty for someone you love thinking that once you leave her no one will ever make you happy yet there are there.just divorse her if she thinks that she is more than you coz in future you may even steal coz you want to impress her.it wil take 1-2 years to find onther lover than it wil being in that way 4 o your life.
ndime
July 16, 2012 at 6:37 pm
bull shit, u want yo wife to be running around when u come home 4 ha 2 be seen to be doing something,wat is the maid paid 4 if you want yo wife 2 be smelling sweat wen u knock off,if u can afford 2 buy ha xpensive stuff y not buy them 4 ha? ths aint about ha frendz its about you….thats y they say marry sum1 with a background similar 2 yours
Trevor
July 16, 2012 at 6:54 pm
Iwe chi doctor , u mean u can not go back to yo county to find a good woman to marry .zambian women ar childish wtch out.
umu bemba nkonko
July 16, 2012 at 7:16 pm
Iwe dokotala!Youre married to a chitongo!Tafundwa uyo,ni munshebwa, ayile na mafi kubuko!!
Ni chipelelo,mumbulwa mano.You are playing with zambian women,they will help you.Baka kwafwa!Aba kashana bapa zambia niba macgyver sana,obviously youre a ghanian or nigerian doctor.mooolla talks!
FLOFILIMO
July 16, 2012 at 7:30 pm
That s U.P.G. Wake up Doc, these days most women are miners…they dig GOLD.
mustaghriba
July 16, 2012 at 9:09 pm
its only women from brothels that have such knd of bhavior,sorry bro,but u marred a slut,am sure she also sleeps on other couples beds for money
kachale
July 16, 2012 at 9:17 pm
If you have taken the matter to her relatives, just give her some time and it won’t be long before she regrets taking her friends in the bedroom, sitting, sleeping and drinking on the matrimonial bed.
She will wake up to her great disappointment and by then it will be too late.
The marriage bed must be respected by all as the word of God has clearly stated.
Under normal circumstances no woman would dare take friends in the bedroom unless under crucial circumstances like sickness.
Talk to her mum on a more serious note on that.
kachale
July 16, 2012 at 9:21 pm
It’s not normal. Please talk to her parents on a serious note coz that’s crazy.
solwezi
July 16, 2012 at 9:26 pm
please seek Gods advice and be a christian if you are not and God will have mercy on you,pray for her and one day she will change remember no one is perfect but we can be made perfect if we believe in jesus
makasa
July 16, 2012 at 9:35 pm
Probably your house is a bed sitter, so where do you expect them to sit?
BA Zambia
July 16, 2012 at 10:12 pm
Hi Doc, your profession is known for saving lives and sometimes it takes you to be hard hearted to bring about good, take injecting a small baby… It’s never fun.
In the same way your wife needs tough love, either she shapes up or leaves your house. You might also want to move town and please get her into a better way of spending time consider further education in another country if you can stand it or let her start a business otherwise anyone with a lot of money and time could behave the way she is doing. Good luck.
Pepe kale
July 16, 2012 at 10:13 pm
Juliet is a slut at w*** in slwz. Ala pwisha abaume pa company!
Ichiselema chansele
July 17, 2012 at 1:03 am
U see the problem with u dick-head-doc is that, this is the hooker u used to pick n pay. Pussy was so sweet u decided to marry the bittch. U can take a jazzebel off the street but u cant get the street off this bittch. Just enter yo master bedroom full of her friends, pump the loudest, ass-tiring, beans/egg flavoured fart. Lock the door and let it difuse throughout the room. While they choke on it, and of course u are immuned to yo own bio-gas, take off yo clothes and start masturbating. YO MATRIMONIAL ROOM IS FOR PRIVATE SHITTT!!! Dick-head, so do something really private!
Gumu Gumu
July 17, 2012 at 5:11 am
I have a feeling that this doc is Nigerian. These guys lack the vibe to win a woman.The only weapon they use is money, most of the time acquired illegally. He must have thought he was going to tame the woman with his flashy gifts. Waloba ilyauma.The whore you are trying to turn into a wife, is like trying to turn a wild animal, a lioness for instance into a pet.There are so many good Zambian women out there if only you go to the right places.Stop using money to win women
Charles
July 17, 2012 at 7:01 am
You are putting yourself (and daughter)in great danger living with such a person. Ask God for guidance and free yourself from free rider that does not want to contribute to the family. You can not do this on your own and need God
no
July 17, 2012 at 8:39 am
because you take it that she is beautiful and you love her so much, thus why to behave like that cheat on her, so that she knows that there are ladies who can work and love you too
Simuwelu Bernard
July 17, 2012 at 9:13 am
Dear Doctor,
You are indeed in a very sad situation. My very strong advice is that your wife needs dilirance. Please take her to T.B. Jushua Lagos Synagogue Church Of All Nations Nigeria
I know you may not be a believer of God, but to tell you God is there and is real. You loose nothing. If you divoce her the evil spirit will lead you to another woman with the same evil spirit.
I’m Bernard
amon
July 17, 2012 at 9:31 am
just marry one of her freinds man. her freind will operate differently
mavis
July 17, 2012 at 9:58 am
she does not respect her marriege
write to me
July 17, 2012 at 11:20 am
DOCTOR,
WHY DID YOU MARRY SUCH A WOMAN? SHE IS A PROSTITUTE AND WHY DO YOU ALLOW BEER DRINKING IN YOUR HOUSE? why not chase all are friend and put your foot down Doctor. I HAVE SO MUCH TO WRITE BUT MAYBE WRITE TO ME THEN I CAN TALK TO YOU PERSONALLY AND I PROMISE YOU YOUR HOUSE/LIFE WILL CHANGE.
king george
July 17, 2012 at 11:26 am
TB Joshua is a demon
boonse
July 17, 2012 at 11:34 am
It is you man who has a problem, why do you boost of doing everything for her when you have seen she is a problem. You are just cheating and trying to tell the world how wealth you are but you have poverty in thinking. Marriage and comfort is not all about work, money but showing discipline and leadership, in the first place why do you stay quiet when you find strangers on your bed. You are just a liar who want to tell us your good life when in fact you are just a total failure, how do you tell us that you even educate her relatives but she never changes, those are not good parameters to measure behavior in marriage. Sit down yourself and draw a line and later discuss it with her. Mind you, every one is doing fine because oxygen is in abundant and not money, ok
Defult
July 17, 2012 at 11:45 am
Just walk naked in the house and if she complains slap her..
andrews
July 17, 2012 at 11:51 am
WRITE TO ME SO THAT I CAN TELL YOU PERSONALLY WHAT TO DO, I PROMISE YOUR HOUSE WILL CHANGE. YOUR WIFE IA A PROSTITUTE.
chitechi
July 17, 2012 at 12:09 pm
just leave her. dnt bother yoself get your child before sh adopts those rubbish manners.Ask for her matron. to come home.
val
July 17, 2012 at 12:15 pm
its very sad that a zambian woman is behaving like that, i wonder if she went through the right channels of being taught before getting married, besides, this behavior will impact negatively on your child so lease take this seriously and sort the woman out before its too late. good luck
VOICE OF THE POOR Prov31:8-9
July 17, 2012 at 12:31 pm
Get marriage councilors and if NO CHANGE…ACT! you will perish my dear…..she needs deliverance
Shatamuka Clement
July 17, 2012 at 12:31 pm
God is the only answer my brother.Read mat 7:7,Jer33:3,Mark10:27 and James1:5-8.Thats the work of the devil and i want to assure you that if God wills that she be your real wife she wil change.Ask for Gods will only my brother.I would have love to speak with you anyway.God bless you.
Helper
July 17, 2012 at 12:35 pm
If the story is true, then leave her. She is a prostitute and can not change!!
sapunga
July 17, 2012 at 12:38 pm
leave that gold digger, damn a doc still being confused by a for lack of better words prostitute, get yourself another woma, or better still get your self another house and divorce tha *****, bring in your HIV male friends let em shag the friends, buy yoself a German shepherd keep it in your room or a rottweiler…….damn that prostitute, send her to her also foolish parents who raised tha fool
Shatamuka Clement
July 17, 2012 at 12:38 pm
It is not normal.Thats not the Zambian culture and thats not being christian.She must be spoken to seriously and ofcourse you have to findout whether she wants marriage or to continue to do that which she thinks is right.You then leave everything to God.God is the only answer my brother.Read mat 7:7,Jer33:3,Mark10:27 and James1:5-8.Thats the work of the devil and i want to assure you that if God wills that she be your real wife she wil change.Ask for Gods will only my brother.I would have love to speak with you anyway.God bless you.
Smart politician
July 17, 2012 at 12:42 pm
You are a big fool!!! Is this the issue to post on the internet? You can’t resolve this simple matter?
Wanyafye Rangers 4 vs Roadmarkings 1
July 17, 2012 at 3:42 pm
I didn’t get to read the whole article – no need to.
Where did you get your shibukombe from? Talk to banachimbusa on ZNBC Radio 2 for free. Even Dr. Manda can help you.
Dido
July 17, 2012 at 3:45 pm
my friend just stop sponsoring her relatives. find another house for yourself and leave her. tell her you are leaving her coz of this and that. Let not her enjoy what you have suffered for. Marriege is about helping out. You pay the bills and buy food at home your wife looks after you to bring more at home. she is a fool. My wife was like that but have tout her a lesson by coming late and spend more time in the bar and do less at home
banakulu chansa
July 17, 2012 at 3:47 pm
DISCIPLINE THAT CHI MA WOMAN SHES DISGRACING US WHY BEHAVE LIKE THAT. SHE WILL NEVER CHANGE JUST FIND ME AND I WILL BE A GOOD WIFE TO YOU
ching-ching
July 17, 2012 at 5:27 pm
beat the *****. teach here some manners