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My Fiancée Has HIV, How do I tell My Parents?’
GODLY COUNSEL with EVANGELIST KATAI
Hi Pastor,
I am a Fourth year student in the school of law, dating someone who is HIV+. We have dated for four years and I love her so much and I want to marry her. The problem is how do I tell my parents that she is HIV+? She has been there since that day and told me her status before we started dating. Please help me pastor.
ANS: Brother thanks for your text. HEALTH matters are usually very personal, couples often wait for a certain period before they disclose a pregnancy. You have been aware of your partner’s HIV status for quite some time and I believe you have received counselling and are aware of the various methods that can be used to protect yourself from HIV infection. If not, you can call 990 for advice from any phone network.
My personal belief is that the HIV status of your partner need not be a talking point of your planned union. Your family will instantly react with fear – which is understandable and nobody would want to see their child or sibling enter into a difficult situation. However, I can understand and respect your wish to share this information with your family. I would advise you to speak with a trusted elder first, and get their advice on to how to proceed. Blessings!
Posted by Editor
on September 24, 2014. Filed under LIFE & STYLE, STYLE.
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DIVA
September 24, 2014 at 3:10 pm
The point is they are both HIV+. What is he going to tell his parents. If he is not HIV+, then leave her.
midu
September 25, 2014 at 10:25 am
Leaving someone who is HIV positive is not a solution at all. I married my husband when he was positive 15yrs ago. We have a healthy relationship and have 2 children together
DIVA
September 25, 2014 at 4:00 pm
If he is the one who was negative, he would not have married you dear. This just shows that you were desperate for marriage. Congratulations midu for your courage and desperation disguised as love.
Lusala Buntele
September 24, 2014 at 3:46 pm
if you really love your partner this is why there are councilors in place qualified enough to guide you on how to live protected and positively even have children without you contracting HIV. I am saying this through my friends experience who happens to have a wife who has HIV and he is NEGATIVE.The man only discovered when the wife first fail pregnant. The child is now big and negative as well as the father.
The man
September 24, 2014 at 4:13 pm
Telling yr parent about the status of yr lady is not an issue. The whole issue is whether u have bin protecting yrself against contracting the virus. You can stil a hapie life even when yr status is positive. Yr parents can not decide what u do to the lady whom u love so much. Thanx frm the Man who is an HIV activist.
tutu
September 24, 2014 at 4:50 pm
wemulumendo uli muli situation iyakaba,hope u will get the help u require and liv happily ever afta,who knows maybe once married she will allow u once in while 2 bang her negative best friend ama live…anyway ifwe tulifyebwino nobukala bulifyebwino
MNC
September 24, 2014 at 5:37 pm
I didn’t know that ba Chikwanda talks so much!
solwezi
September 24, 2014 at 9:30 pm
pliz as for me i would not allow myself to get married to a positive woman unless u are also positive.and why going for her as if she’s the only whom God created my brother.its good u know now and stop the marriage.
Angela
September 24, 2014 at 10:02 pm
Pray to God dady
chabo
September 24, 2014 at 11:00 pm
HIV/ADIS is just like an other disease therefore i think you telling your parents wont solve the equation beacause you make the final decision.i think your lady is a sweet lady and one in a million because she was able to tell you about her status. My food for thought over this isue is that you guys were mearnt to be nowanda she was able to tell you and you also understood her situation. lastly do not listen to cheap talk as it may just ruin your relationship. all the best
Ngoma
September 25, 2014 at 12:34 am
Thankt God for ur fiance. Get enough counsel and read more on HIV/AIDS. The decision is your even after seeking counsel.
visitor Frank
September 25, 2014 at 7:52 am
You’re a grown up. Make you decision. Parents, relatives and friends will respect it.
Chief of Grief
September 25, 2014 at 9:12 am
Ili ko trapatite sichu yobe aiyi!I’ll advise u to with wat yo hr@ tells u.Nga wamusha uyo umukashana nku afwa bwangu na depression waikata pantu by her telling u alisanga solace muli u waunfwa teh.If u nid utuma infants mu life yobe mukaye pa saube ukuchita artificial insermination waunfwa teh?Noti ukulya utubishi pakuyi sakuta.eah justice naku pishamo bati palasti,its yo decision to make waikata boi?
Dee Mwansa
September 25, 2014 at 9:49 am
You are one in a million my brother and i can say you really love this woman. The decision is solely up to you; these are maters of the heart and only you know better. Your parents, family members and friends will condemn you but you are the final decision maker. Read more about HIV which am sure you have being a learned person so you know what to do. All the best!
mikalile
September 25, 2014 at 10:28 am
You are a good man.
Chanda Chimbwi III
September 25, 2014 at 10:29 am
Everybody is worried about Ebola and you are whining about ka HIV?
angel
September 25, 2014 at 10:48 am
you are even lucky others find themselves in agony married already to a person who is sick and you cant even do anything you just become depressed…its seems you are mentally ready just go ahead
IF NOT
September 25, 2014 at 10:54 am
You truly love each other, go ahead and marry this honest lady. Do not tell your parents about your status, it might depress them instead go for counselling with your partner and learn how to stay health and have healthy children in future.
IF NOT
September 25, 2014 at 10:58 am
Put God first in all you do and he will guide and protect you.If you are a blogger on this site you can read Psalms 91 and declare it upon you and your partner (He will satisfy you with long life and show you his salvation.
Mupopo
September 25, 2014 at 11:18 am
IF NOT, YOU ARE A GENIOUS
IF NOT
September 25, 2014 at 11:22 am
Thanks Mupopo, we need to encourage each other.
Mupopo
September 25, 2014 at 11:40 am
IF NOT, U AR WELCOM
Ketty
September 25, 2014 at 2:04 pm
Mwaiche your patner didnt wait for the right time,why take the risk? u must be sick!!!!!!
MNC
September 25, 2014 at 8:58 pm
TRUVADA is referred to as the “Miracle drug”. Ensure her medicine cocktail includes this drug. It will be as good as using a condom, though it will be live. The US as now accepted it use in that regard. God bless you with many uninfected children.
sakho
September 26, 2014 at 9:15 am
boi te presure iyii!!!! fiancee is not yo wife afterall galz supurse us in numbers,jst dump de positive gal n find someone negative!eeh presure iyi sure????
kasantana
September 26, 2014 at 9:50 am
look for another one naiwe ,amano ubwipi.
Prince Charming
September 26, 2014 at 11:57 am
tell em that you are ready to die since you are in love with a dead lady in her extra time.
poutry farmer
September 26, 2014 at 1:06 pm
i have been HIV postive for 24yrs happily marrried with two health kid, u can also do it my dear all things are possible with god.
Political Cadre
September 26, 2014 at 3:55 pm
@poutry farmer I agree with you as I have been living with the VIRUS for over 15yrs and have four children who are all HIV negative. My piece of advise to my brother is that he should not despair, if he’s in love with the lady let him get married to her. I’m 100% sure that he will not be the first man to get married to an HIV+ partner. Remember, ” if you are not infected, you are affected.” Stay blessed and trust God and not man.