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THINGS You Should Do If Your Husband Is CHEATING
Married women need to understand that whether or not their husband cheats is out of their control. The most that they can do is to cultivate the relationship with their husband, be the best person that they can be and know how to handle themselves if an affair does happen.
Seek Support
Discovering your spouse’s infidelity can bring on a range of powerful emotions. Few people are equipped to deal with the heartache and devastation on their own. Seek out family and friends who can be supportive and nonjudgmental during this period. If you do not have a built-in support network, turn to your priest, minister or licensed therapist to help.
Talking about your feelings often helps to clarify the situation and put the affair into perspective. Before you can move on in whatever direction you choose to take, you must first fully understand that what happened is not your fault. In fact, it is possible that the affair had everything to do with your spouse and nothing at all to do with you.
Take Your Time
Acting in the heat of the moment often results in knee-jerk reactions that may not be in your best interests. On his website, celebrity therapist Dr. Phil advises, “Time heals nothing. It is what you do with the time that matters.” Although you may want to know every intimate detail of the affair, you need time to absorb what occurred in your marriage first. Postpone discussions with your husband about it until you feel that both of you can do it in a calm and constructive manner.
Give yourself the time to come to grips with the situation by taking a short trip or staying with friends or family for a few days. Whether you choose to stay with your husband or seek a divorce, approaching things as if preparing for battle is not healthy for you or your family.
Start Over
In “The Complete Idiot’s Guide to the Perfect Marriage,” authors Hilary Rich and Helaina Kravatz advise, “Your marriage is now divided into the time before and the time after the affair.” After marital infidelity, many women start to idealize the time before the affair, and consider the time after the affair as tainted. Since you can never go back to the way it was and do not want it to be the way it is now, the only viable alternative is to start over.
You can leave the marriage and start over alone, or forge ahead in the relationship with your husband by redefining your marriage. Whatever path you choose, make sure to break with the past and ensure a completely fresh start in your new life.
Protect Yourself
Although it is in your best interest to take the time to decompress from the emotions after discovering infidelity in your marriage, you need to be smart and protect yourself financially. Seek the advice of a licensed attorney to advise you in your financial affairs with an eye towards possible separation or divorce. At this point, you do not want to find yourself with a wandering mate and empty bank account.
livestrong
Posted by
NaamNahi
January 23, 2012 at 5:27 pm
What the hell!?! Everytime there’s a relationship or sex topic, some b***h called Janet C has to pour out stinky contents from her effin brain; always trying to come out smart, correcting people’s grammar – blah blah blah. It’s a bloody social website, no need to be the perfect English student. Let people b free to make mistakes! You must be the most miserable person on earth; always trying to come out intelligent – like you don’t give a shyt when people don’t agree with u! Personally, Iam tired of your blogs. YOU get a fkn life, or better yet, a grave & leave this site. You sound like a broken record & so fake. I wonder how much time & effort it takes you to retaliate ALL THE BLOODY TIME! Gosh, I’m so sick of you! You’ve become too boring & irritating. It’s sickening! Seriously for once just shut up! Or is it because empty vessels make the most noise?!?
BJ
January 23, 2012 at 5:51 pm
I love my 22 year old gal coz she gives it to me the way i want it.Blowjobs,yakumbuyo and so on.when i tell my wife ati sindise imbwa
principled lady
January 23, 2012 at 5:59 pm
Cheating in a relationship or marriage is the worst form of betrayal whether you are a man or woman.I have friends,both male and female that have tried to justify why they cheat with excuses like boredom,not satisfied chakuti chakuti.All i know is when you love someone you cant even contemplate such nonsense.Relationships are hard work.Leave them if you are still a child up stairs.Talking from marriage experience.
kelvin lungu
January 23, 2012 at 6:39 pm
why do the say at u can only enjoy sex if u do a lot of stales in and u find that some permanent girls friends like mine she doesent like yakunbuyo i think our girls should just stat practicing that all else you will keep on blaming men no wonder they do it outside
mwa
January 23, 2012 at 6:57 pm
cheating can never be
justified under any circumstances.However men are naturally drawn to have multi partners just like other males in the animal kingdom.
Kandi
January 23, 2012 at 11:28 pm
moving on was my option. He cheated I filed for divorce, luckily I live in the west where women have a voice. They awarded me both his houses, 2 of the four cars, full custody of of our son and $12 500 a month in child support, I have a good job so I don’t really need the money but eff him he deserves it. he would call and threaten me and he shook me violently because he thought it was Ghana africa where he’s from. I recorded the phone messages and reported to the cops, he is not allowed to come withing 100 yards of where I am for 24 months. He has to have a child care supervisor present in the room when he visits our son because he shook me violently in the prsence of the child so now he also attends court mandated anger management classes. and just to spite his ass my son calls my new boyfriend Daddy I love how it pisses my ex off. my ex says “He’s not his effin father” but I don’t care if you want someone to call u daddy go and make another baby with some whore after all that was your talent. It’s not my fault if you’re only allowed to visit your son fortnightly and he sees my new man daily, he calls the one who is present in his life daddy. p/s feb 1st is around the corner time to cash in! He appologized recently and said quote “you were a good wife I can’t lie,but my sctions turned you ruthless and you’ve screwed me over big time” but no ill will for the record i really did love u” sorry I hurt you” blah blah blah just pay my 12 pin 5 and shut up while my dude drives your car LOL.
Concernd
January 23, 2012 at 11:52 pm
Ad
Concernd
January 24, 2012 at 12:03 am
Frm wt iv noticd its like we are takn sex outsd mariage casualy n to b honst our timez r roten.Satan has made us blind to the real isues n wts goin around,lets go bk n read our bibles n folow our christian teachngz we wil realz that when we put God in everythn including our relationshps we wil discova that God wil keep our relationshps healthy.cheatng wnt be part of our convasation if we r God fearing men n women. Let us not be foold because these r the end days,satan is fuly at work hence lets focus on seeking Gods Kindom n evrythn wil b added unto u.
KIBWELA KASONGO
January 24, 2012 at 12:13 am
Some women are just stubborn and just turn something else from what they presented when you courted. They forget that apart from their physical self, there were attributes you saw in them when you didnt realise they were acting for the marriage to take place.
As soon as they are in your home, they become the most irritating person you ever wanted to be close to; inobidient, lazy, scruffy and most of the time bugging where they are not supposed to.
The most deirable thing a man looks forward to is a very peacefull home where He will always look forward to going back to after work. A genuine presentation of oneself is the most important key to a successfull marriage and not a complete shift from what your partner thought you were. That invites the person to become alive to noticing the desire of his kind of woman in him when he meets one because she will be natural and catch his eye.
Mr wise
January 24, 2012 at 8:10 am
@First lady ,Am equally waiting for my pal Janet c to answer me . And infact madam try to talk to her she openly and freely confessed that she cheats her hus , as for the man who also justified cheating i think he was just blogging men can’t confess.
Namutekenya
January 24, 2012 at 9:37 am
WoW! I cannot believe i took time to read every post!! Thanks guys!!
I also read this lol
January 24, 2012 at 4:59 pm
@ Namutekanya for real lol, I read each post too. @ Kandi sista wandi you’ve made my day…ati just pay my 12pin 5 lolololol! ****** man! That’s what he gets for cheating and physically abusing you, they never learn!